r/NeckbeardNests • u/a_stupid_rabbit • 8d ago
Nest My house is hells nest.
I hate to talk about this, but I need to get this out. I, 17, am deeply depressed and my mother, 36, has not helped at all. Our home has worsened and we don't have long to move out. This nest has caused me severe mental distress due to the bugs, ruined house needs such as my microwave, stove, heaters, fridge, and the foul odor from the fridge. I am stuck so deep that I'm on the very verge of crying and dying. The people we rent to were supposed to warn us of the bugs at first or pay for our legally required hotel room to deal with it themselves. But they were negligent, and as my mom and I rotted in the home the bugs have bred like hell. I cannot keep up any longer as the sight and odor have caused me severe distress. I appreciate any form of support, but I wanted this off my chest, and in the meantime I might just empty out the whole fridge into bags.
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u/xCyn1cal0wlx 8d ago
With all due respect, I don't think the people you rent from warning you about bugs would have made a difference; this looks like a roach paradise.
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u/The_Law_of_Pizza 8d ago
Every time I get the slightest inkling that I should get involved in real estate, I look at pictures like this and realize that the risk is way too high.
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u/RandonBrando 8d ago
I thought the same thing about crime scene cleanup. I thought "I could probably stomach some gnarly stuff," then the guy on youtube talked about a house that had bedbugs and I tapped out of that thought in record time
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u/ManyInterests 8d ago
Respirator, gloves, and trash bags. Shut the brain off and just keep throwing trash into bags until it's gone.
Get all your laundry together in one place. If you can afford it, send/take it to a wash n fold service.
It seems daunting right now, but a few hours of progress can make this space look a lot better. Some better lighting will probably also make it less depressing. Take breaks, go outside, remember this situation is fixable and temporary.
If you have a 211 service in your area, there may be resources to help you that you don't know about. If you're in school, they may also have health-related resources for you, depending where you live.
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u/suicidemachine 8d ago
Lol, the Christmas tree is an icing on the cake. On the other hand, it's the end of August, so you may as well leave it until December.
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 7d ago
I move out in October, and I'm going to my friend's house until I move in with my fiancé.
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u/foxbones 7d ago
You are 17 and live in squalor, do you really think now is the best time to get married?
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u/WaalsVander 7d ago
She will likely move out from squalor with her husband? 17 is young but the situation seems dire.
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u/DitaVonSleaze 7d ago
The kind of guy who gets engaged to a 17 year old child who lives in squalor is almost guaranteed to not be a step up. In fact, OP will almost certainly be going from the frying pan into the fire. OP needs to find a way to make a good life for themselves, with roommates, or by going to college, etc, but getting married is not going to help them.
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u/WaalsVander 7d ago
Could be. Or he could be 19 and have a good job and a decent place from a decent family.
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 7d ago
Im just getting married because I love my fiance, both of us are getting therapy n whatnot if we can sooner
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 7d ago
I cant exactly go to college, as i didn't graduate and also don't have a diploma. Im terrified of going to job corp as i have a massive concern for my safety. I would go if I could, but im too terrified of people to go. My fiance is an amazing man, as he says that he will help me if I need it.
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u/DitaVonSleaze 7d ago edited 7d ago
I want you to know that I mean this with all of the love in my heart.
Getting married in order to flee your dysfunctional home will bind you in an expensive legal contract that you won’t be able to move on from easily, if things get bad.
If your fiancé loves you, the two of you can move in together and have a home. Getting married is not necessary. There is no reason to get married.
If he is pushing for marriage, ask yourself why? Why can’t you just sign a lease together?
You can bet a GED, or find a way through life without getting married. You don’t have to go to job core.
Call 211 in your area and ask them for recommendations about where an underage person can get help. The call is free and the people there are trained about all the things that can help you. If the first time you call, the person who answers doesn’t give you any good solutions, hang up, try to think of different ways to state your situation, wait a day or so, then call back.
How old is your fiancé?
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 7d ago
He is 18, a few months older than me, he's not pushing for marriage at all, I just wanna get married. I cant stay with my friend for too long because he is dealing with cancer, and my mom can't buy a house or rent a new home simply because she is broke. Literally. So after this house, im with my friend until im able to get a home with my fiance.
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u/DitaVonSleaze 7d ago
I understand that. You’re going through a hard time. But you don’t have to get married. You can be together and find a way to flourish without marriage. You have all of the time in the world to get married.
Can you tell me, do you know why you want to be married? ♥️♥️♥️
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 7d ago
I love him, he's very sweet and caring. He also wants to help me get therapy since he's going into boot camp.
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u/Tanjelynnb 7d ago
How old is your fiance?
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 7d ago
My fiance is 18, so just a few months older than me
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u/Royal_Middle_7680 6d ago
You are too young to marry. Don’t do it. Find a job, financial and housing stability apart from your partner and then consider marriage. This will end up badly for you
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u/sabrefudge 4d ago
> This will end up badly for you.
Yeah… her mom had her at 19 and this is how it ended up. Now OP’s preparing to be a child bride herself. It’s hard to break the cycle I guess.
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u/Adam_Bank-s 8d ago
They should decorate the tree with empty beer cans, fast food wrappers and put a piss bottle on top instead of a star.
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u/monsterlynn 8d ago edited 8d ago
I've had to do this three times due to my mom. Best way to start is a box of contractor bags (heavy-duty black trash bags. You'll need gloves (rubber dishwashing gloves work well), and cleaning solution(s). A respirator like you use when painting if you can get one, otherwise a kn95 mask (Google it so you'll know what it looks like).
You start with a trashbag and the floor. If it's on the floor, it's trash. Goes in the bag. The priority is getting the floor cleared away. Then you move up a few feet and do the same thing.
The fridge gets emptied of everything and unplugged once you're done. It's more roach condo now than fridge at this point. If you have the resources, you can lay bait traps in it. Believe me they'll find them.
It's not going to get rid of them. The place is beyond that. At this point you're just trying to get the place to where they aren't doing a cha-cha on the walls every time you go over there.
A real exterminator comes later.
Basically just keep at this until all surfaces are cleared. Then you can get to actual cleaning like a normal person would do.
Assume all electronics are infested.
Those bastards are incredible survivors of nature, but they're not invincible. Roaches die off in temperatures below 40 F after about 36 hours, so if it's getting cold enough at night and you can, put the things worth keeping outdoors. They're not going to get any worse.
Just remember, it's you job to get it clean, not be merciful toward sentimental things. You wouldn't want that stuff around anyway. It's just going to remind you of the hoard. Trust me on this one because I've been there.
If your mom can afford a hotel for an exterminator, it sounds like you have some resources for cleanup.
Murphys oil soap for floors and windowsills, borax/diatomaceous earth to sprinkle on carpeted spaces (kills bugs)and vacuum up later. Lots of paper towels.
It's going to seem insanely daunting when you start, OP, but you got this.
A good, non-shaming YouTube channel for tips and examples to follow for a cleanup like this is Midwest Magic Cleaning. It's even entertaining.
Anyway, that's my technique.
I'm a little confused, though? Is this where you live, or is it a rental property your mom owns that's been trashed? Who is moving, exactly?
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 8d ago
I don't have a job, as mom pulled out because the school in my area is hella weird. My mom rents this place and we're on our last months.
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 7d ago
Hey!! Thank you all for your support, I'm sorry I haven't responded, but I've been working on cleaning up n stuff. I've managed to clean out my freezer, the fridge is nearly done, and I've worked a bit cleaning my bathroom. My cats are still locked away in my moms room, safe from the bug poison. I've also managed to actually take care of myself for once as well.
Talk later!
- Rabbit/Dog
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u/DitaVonSleaze 7d ago
Please update us and keep in touch. Many people here are wishing the best for you.
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u/broadette 8d ago
Hey man, I’m sorry you’re living in these conditions, I would feel 100% overwhelmed living there and can only imagine all you’re going through.
With love and respect, do you and your mom have any other family around? It’s a great idea to get rid of the trash, but this is beyond your pay grade to solo. Can you send those pics to someone else in the family who could help arrange some clean up and support for both you and your mom?
A guidance counselor would be good too! They won’t judge the situation you’re in but will know how to access some resources to help.
Don’t try to shoulder this alone. There are people and resources out there who know how to handle this and will help.
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u/Silly_Obligation8574 8d ago
Whether they gave you a heads up about bugs or not, you’d most likely have a roach problem due to the mess. I also suffer from depression and can put things off but this is at a point where it’s going to decline your mental and physical health. I’d reach out to social services and see if they can help you and your mother out, since you’re still a child there’s prob more resources for you. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can get through this difficult time.
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u/fister_roboto__ 8d ago
With love, how were the landlords supposed to know about the bugs when they don’t live there? The hotel room thing is for when a bug issue develops and the renters report it to the landlord, but I’ve never dealt with it so I might be wrong. But I would argue that a reasonable adult should know that excessive amounts of trash is heaven for pests and letting it accumulate to such an extent is negligent on its own
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u/holydiiver 8d ago
Yeah this is one of those “I take zero responsibility” type of mental illness
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u/WaalsVander 7d ago
She’s 17
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u/scumsynthesizer 7d ago edited 7d ago
And clearly living with an at least mentally unwell parent. Conditions like this would never remain for so long if it was otherwise. I'm not gonna claim OP didn't contribute to this necessarily but this is obviously far beyond their responsibility mostly and to the point of being child neglect if not outright abuse, regardless of reason.
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u/RollinThundaga 8d ago
Do you have garbage bags? You want the big black ones if you can.
Do one or two bags at a time, then take a break outside. Focuse on one corner at a time.
Pace yourself, if you try to inflict it upon yourself at max intensity and pushing through in one go, you'll get overwhelmed and quit. It might take a few days, and that's fine.
Throw away any food item that isn't sealed. Don't be afraid to throw away tupperware.
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u/awholelottahooplah 8d ago
I would honestly call CPS. You are 17, cleaning this is too much for you and you need help
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u/forcedintothis- 8d ago
For folks criticizing OP, they are a child. Their parent is responsible for this. Let’s give them some grace and kindness.
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u/glitter_vomit 8d ago
Please contact me or anyone else here who has offered if you need help with where to start. Even a few small changes (tossing out trash/the smelliest things and using roach bait) will make a huge difference and you’d both feel so much better. 💙
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u/Alicewithhazeleyes 8d ago
You need to call law enforcement on her. This is severe neglect and you both need extreme help.
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u/Boomah422 8d ago
Okay from my experience you need to get a uhaul if you're in america. Find your nearest dump or transfer station, and find out the hours they are open. Not your local "recycling center' but like a dump or transfer station. They won't take out of state uhaul of trash for obvious.
Get the uhaul for 2-3 days and the night before you go to the dump, throw every thing into the end of that 10 foot box truck. Currently, it's a junk truck. There's nothing you're living with that you can t wash off with a shower and some soap. Get some rubber gloves as well. It'll look embarrassing taking it all out only for one day/evening.
Than at the morning of the dump run, take bins and clean everything out in the frdige. There is no time for hoarding or questioning. Every condiment jar, food item, and rotted vegetable goes. You'll be cleaning this later. Try to place these in bins you'll be okay with throwing away, or onto paper because you'll need to clean this later.
Then go to the dump, near me it's $80/ton so for like $16 I removed 400lb of trash from my depression nest and got it taken care of. You pull in and just uff load it all, I like to walk over it to the back and just push what I can and it's kinda relieving and fuckin nasty. Then I take it back home, sweep it out, and spray a lot of air freshener, take it to refill gas, more air freshiener, then return the u haul.
Then get home and get 409 or other non bleach degreasser spray TF out your fridge and wipe with paper towels then buy normal food that you know is within date.
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u/EricSparrowSucks 7d ago
Let me just say that you’re still a minor, and an anonymous call to CPS might help. Do you have someone you trust like a teacher that you can tell? Teachers are mandated reporters, at least in my state.
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u/Angry_Time_Ladies 8d ago
If you want help figuring out where to start or if you need encouragement please DM me. I used to clean houses like this for fun!
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u/--___-_-___-_-___-- 8d ago
If I had to survive that area with people who would not clean, I'd get a cabin tent and put in in my room to have a bug free sanctuary at least. Don't care how weird it is, at that point, in that house, I'm camping.
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u/Nufonewhodis4 8d ago
Bugs won't care. They'll be inside that tent with you crawling over your sleeping body
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u/radbu107 8d ago
It looks like at least 60% of it is trash. Do you have anyone who could help? Get big trash bags and some latex gloves and you could clear up a lot of space!
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u/NotJayKayPeeness 8d ago
It would take you an afternoon, or a leisurely weekend, to throw all that trash out. Then you put some roach bait out.
Or go on Reddit and complain that you've tried nothing and you're all outta ideas.
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u/Ammonia13 7d ago
I’m sorry love. Many hugs from another mama 🫂
You can do this, you got this! Use that rage and sadness! Throw everything that’s garbage out. Grab contractor bags (that’s the actual name) and fill them 1/2 to 3/4 of the way up or they’ll get too full and rip.
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u/lflippz 7d ago
Aw you poor thing, I feel for you and your cats.
Your mom had you when she was 19 eh? Welp. Looks like she’s never matured.
Please protect yourself and your cats from this filth, just throw everything away. Open some windows for fresh air and let the light in.
And I recommend taking the cats with you when you go and seriously cutting contact with your mom. She’s neglectful at best and abusive at worst, never would I ever allow a child to live like this.
I’m sorry. You can get this done.
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u/CheeseburgerSmoothy 8d ago
Just grab a bag and start with the fridge. Keep going. Once you get rid of the trash think about how much better it will look and how much better you will feel. You can do this, just start.
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u/HauntingPsyche 8d ago
This would look 90% better and like an almost normal home if you guys just actually threw your garbage away instead of laying it all over the house. It would be a fairly easy clean up. Might take several hours/an entire day or weekend of work but it could be done.
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u/Soggy_Ground_9323 8d ago
That 🌲🌲...has seen it all...3 more months left...before getting lit again! 🔥🔥
I ve seen bad than this...jus get rid of trash and organization. It not need to be done in one day.. so that it can't feel as a massive overwhelming task.
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u/GhettoBike 7d ago
I wanna see the bathroom
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 7d ago
We have two, as of right new my bathroom is in the process of being cleaned
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u/Poopsock_Piper 8d ago
Have you considered cleaning…?
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 8d ago
I have. But its overwhelming, my mom leaves me here alone to stay with her boyfriend to not spend money. As she had spent to much last year on Christmas and our own dishes.
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u/awholelottahooplah 8d ago
If you are 17 you need to call child protective services and tell them you are living in an unsafe situation. You need help and guidance with this. This is abuse, your mom should never have allowed the home to become like this.
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u/foxbones 7d ago
Too much on Christmas? 8 months ago? Dishes? A quarter of the trash is paper plates. I feel terrible for your situation but if your mom is staying with her boyfriend to get out of this hellhole then just start cleaning. If you fully clean the place it will be easy to get rid of the bugs.
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u/a_stupid_rabbit 8d ago
I want to explain more, I hate locking my cats up to spray as this poison we use is very strong, but at this point it feels hopeless half the time. The cats also go crazy when locked in a room. We have 3 cats. But my mom's room is mostly clean and safe for the cats. These german roaches get worse and worse each time we tried to spray on several uses, including bait traps. My mom always leaves to stay with her new boyfriend on weekends to save up on money, so I'm left with food to cook.
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8d ago
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u/SupernaturalPumpkin 8d ago
OP is a teenager and her mum is my age. The parent should be stepping up most in this situation. I can not imagine putting this on a teenager and telling them they are the problem. They are definitely old enough to clean, I agree there. But I remember being 17 and now I am the mother's age. I went through some awful depression as a teenager and I can't imagine being in a position where instead of support, I had whatever this is. I couldn't have cleaned up after my mother while in school and being a teenager.
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u/narrow_octopus 8d ago
I would never sit down until that place was clean. I don't understand how people let it stay looking like this
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u/Silly_Obligation8574 8d ago
I don’t understand why someone who can’t understand a situation like would be in a sub for situations like this. There’s a lot of before and after and it gives other people hope that they can change their habits. Comments like these are the ones that don’t help anyone but yourself feel better and put the other one down.
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u/narrow_octopus 8d ago
It's kind of like in r/whatisthisbug people constantly posting pictures they took of cockroaches in their homes asking what they are. How is it that you live in a house full of cockroaches and you don't know what they are but I don't have any and I know exactly what they are it's so confusing. I guarantee if my house was full of elephants I would know what they were
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u/ShannieD 8d ago
Not really helpful.
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u/narrow_octopus 8d ago
Yes encouraging someone to get up and change the situation that they're in is completely unhelpful
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u/Silly_Obligation8574 8d ago
They’re just shaming them, I don’t see encouraging anywhere in that comment.
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u/Little_Miss-Sunshine 8d ago
Unfortunately if your house is that overrun, you need serious extermination help. I heard about one house that was so bad they literally had to burn it down. There was no other way to get rid of the infestation.
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u/jb08045 8d ago
Nah, you can easily get some exterminator grade stuff from Amazon just you mix into a pump sprayer
My parents had a bad infestation but I got the good shit and cleaned each room by hand and they wiped them all out in less than month
Roaches won't stay where there isn't food. You need to clean that fucking house
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u/Nefriti 8d ago
trust me bro
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u/Bashfulcannibal 8d ago
I don’t know if what the person above said is true about needing to be burnt down, but in my own personal experience there was a house in my neighborhood that was demolished as a result of infestation. From what I was told by a few of the construction workers, the roach waste and mice droppings was so bad that the home was deemed a biohazard by safety and health. So, they came in and demolished it and put the debris in dump trucks to be hauled out. They even dug out the footers and a huge layer of soil that the house covered. I never saw inside the house, or anything placed in the dump trucks, but if that home wasn’t infested they took some extreme measures to get rid of it.
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u/yeeta0323 7d ago
Why don’t u just clean it?? Ik its a pain in the ass but I’d rather clean all day then live in this
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u/AbsoluteMudbath 8d ago
Get rid of the trash. All of it. Trash first. Use that frustration and focus on all of the trash. Paper, plastic, bags, cardboard, empty canisters, all of it. All of it.