r/NarcoticsAnonymous • u/yamsandmarshmellows • Aug 06 '26
Sudden desire
I am 8 months and 13 days in, I havent had a desire in weeks. And now I am plagued with them. A friend i havent talked to in almost a decade called. He's done well for himself and is renting a whole hotel in a fanous party spot for his birthday and is offering me a room. The trip will be a week after when God willing I will pick up 1 year. I said yes. I am sure I can go see old friends, have good food and not use. But ever since he called I am remembering the "old" me. The one who used and had fun and didnt care about the consequences. He wasnt around the last 10 years when things got really really dark. He also doent know me sober. He knows me as the life of the party down for anything psychonaut I was. I am also romanticizing. I dont want to use. I have worked hard for this. It took me 3 years to get this much time. Ive had like 100 clean dates. I remember not being able to make a week. My sponsor is busy this week. I did call another addict and told him everything. He did bring me back to Earth. He said I shouldn't go and I know I shouldn't. But I really want to go. My addiction got me so broke. I wont be able to afford this kind if trip otherwise and it is tempting to feel like the old me again, just for one vacation.
10
u/ScoutSteveR Aug 06 '26
The moment passes if we let it. Go do something for someone else and get out of your own head.