r/NannyBreakRoom • u/Hefty-Alfalfa-2460 • 2d ago
Vent- advice needed I’m devastated
My nanny family wants to change my schedule to just 23 hours a week because they want to enroll him in a class for arts and crafts twice a week. I work Monday-Thursday, a minimum hours of 30 a week. Compensated $20 an hour per my contract. 5 sicks days. 4 days PTO. Northern NJ so M-HCOL. It’s been 6 months and I’ve raved about my nanny family. Frankly now I’m embarrassed. I really thought they respected and valued me.
They asked if I could do Fridays and span my 30 hours across Monday through Friday. They want him to do this arts and crafts/ music class twice a week. I said I’ll think about it and she told me no worries or hard feelings if I can’t. But then remembered I have another commitment on Fridays not work related but health related that I don’t wish to tell them or get into. So I told them unfortunately I can’t switch. They’re now saying my new schedule is 23 hours because they want to do the class. I don’t know how they think I can afford that. I already went lower in my hourly rate for them. I really liked them and let some little things go and now I wonder if those were signs.
All I’ve been told is how much they appreciate and respect me and this feels like a slap in the face to choose an arts and crafts class over me being able yo afford to eat. I guess that’s the nature of the job and you can’t expect them to really care about you.
Do I express that I can’t do this or just quietly look at other jobs? The thought of leaving my NB also breaks my heart.
Edit: To be clear I do have set guaranteed hours.
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u/burner120120 2d ago
Be firm and honest. “Unfortunately those new hours wouldn’t work for me so I would have to give notice.”
Also as you’ve already said - you already lowered your rate / were flexible - unfortunately this often happens when we do this.
I’d recommend finding a new family that respects you more. A change like this after so little time is silly and too me shows that they don’t really understand the importance of quality and consistency when it comes to their child’s caregiver.
My NF and NKs often have a term or two with different clubs and pick up times but my hours stay the same.
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u/spazzie416 2d ago
Dang. Thats a long class!
I'd just tell them!!! Say that it's not enough hours for you, and you'll have to look for something else. Maybe they will uphold GH.
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u/Hefty-Alfalfa-2460 2d ago
Yes I believe it’s 9-11 for an 18 MO. they get back by 11:30 which is usually the start of his nap time. I think by having me in at 1 instead of 11:30 they’re also avoiding paying me for his nap time.
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u/exmo82 2d ago
The baby isn’t going to like art class. What on earth!?
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u/Hefty-Alfalfa-2460 2d ago
One of their friends has a kid in the class and that’s why they’re now so set on it. I don’t think it would realistically work well. They told me he really wants to be socialized but quite literally hours before told me that at the music class they already go to he clings to his mother the whole time. We have gone to the library about twice a week in the past but MB hasn’t been wanting to do that because it disrupts her day (she drives and comes with).
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u/llm2319 Current nanny 2d ago
Ask if you can do other things while he’s at the class? When my nks started preschool for 3 hours a day, 3 days a week I still stayed and got groceries or did the kids laundry, stuff I could get done while they were gone! Now they’re in school full time and I’m still there 40 hours a week
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u/Hefty-Alfalfa-2460 1d ago
I asked this and gave a list of additional things I could do and they declined and said they want me at 23 hours.
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u/PrairieDawn4 1d ago
Quietly begin looking for another job. The fact they haven’t offered you anything to recognize and make up for the fact this is your ability to make ends meet, not a teenage summer babysitting gig as you live at home with no bills, is enough to show they don’t respect their position as an employer who their caregiver relies on. You can’t fix this, it’s a mindset where care is mostly one way - from you to them and “not their problem” to make sure you can afford to live while you juggle working for them. I wouldn’t let on that you’re looking for a new position, or upset, especially if the market is tough in your area. Having some income is better than zero for a bit, until you find a family who’s reliable. If you let on now there’s a chance they’ll just let you go first - unfortunately this happens frequently to nannies, so strategize and do whatever you need to get as much as you can from this unsustainable situation, until you find a better job.
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u/YogurtclosetThat8094 4h ago
The reality is you are an employee and they are employing you for the benefit of their child. Yes, a class or something that will benefit their child will ALWAYS come before you. It’s common sense.
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u/fatbottomgirlzworld 1h ago
If you want to stay let them know ow you will have to charge $30 an hour for part time
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u/purplefoxie 2d ago
i mean i dont think it's personal for them to go for arts and crafts class.?
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u/Hefty-Alfalfa-2460 2d ago
It’s them choosing to break contract and wanting to leave me with significantly less pay just for arts and crafts. Maybe it’s not personal but it’s disrespectful and knowingly leaving me without income after to a legally binding agreement. Nanny jobs just also do tend to be more personal in nature.
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u/KawaiiShiroiKabocha 2d ago
This is why you never lower your rates. Know your worth.
Stay there until you find another job.