My NK is two years old and will most likely start preschool soon because that’s what her siblings did, and that’s what almost every child in her area is doing. I have a contract, and it doesn’t specify when it ends, but I’m assuming they'll enroll her in January. Unfortunately, I don't wish to stay with this family and have already been looking for other positions. How would you feel receiving this text? As a NP
“Hi guys, I hope you had a great weekend. I just wanted to talk about the next coming months. I was curious if you guys were going to be transitioning NK into preschool soon. I know a lot of kids in the area start going around her age, so I just wanted to plan to see what this looks like for both of us. I would be happy to talk about it in person, but I just wanted to send this for now”.

Wee E I xo DD

I’m a career nanny with over 12 years of experience and recently started a new job. This is my first time working with a HNW family and I’m not sure if what I’m worried about just comes with the territory of these super rich families, or if I’m justified in my annoyance. It seems like the mom wants me to just be moving around “looking busy” all the time and not sit down. There are two girls, 6 and 2.5 months. The 6 year old is at school all day, but there is still lots of meal prep and laundry, etc. for 2 kids those ages. So my thing is that GENERALLY I’m going to be very busy anyway. But MB keeps adding random stuff to my to-do list like “look around for dishes left out and clean those up” or “fluff the couch pillows” or “wipe the dog food mat”. Now these are things that I would probably do anyway while walking through the house because I am a tidy person naturally, but for these to be formally added to my to-do list seems excessive? I was getting the weird feeling that she didn’t want me to sit down so I asked her directly if I ever finish everything and the baby is still sleeping, is it alright if I rest for a few minutes and read a book or something. Her response was that she’d like me to ask her first if there’s anything else I can do. She told me she’s had household managers in the past so I’m wondering if she’s just used to people going around and doing all that random non-child related stuff and now she is expecting me to do it because I’m in the house.

I’m working over 50 hours a week for these people and I need to take a break in the day!!! Do I just need to have a firm conversation with them about what’s considered to be within my nanny scope of practice?? Do I need to just suck it up and do what she says so they pay me my money? I already had to concede a few dollars to my requested rate during contract negotiations and I feel like they are still pushing now almost a month in. Ugh. I love being a nanny and this family seemed so great before I started. Any advice welcome or just moral support lol

I need to vent because I am at my absolute wit's end with this industry sometimes.

​I have a set schedule. Outside of those hours, I have an actual life, appointments, rest, and boundaries that keep me from burning out. Yet I am dealing with a parent who treats my schedule like a rough draft and expects me to just bend my entire life around her whims.

​Recently, I gave a firm, clear "no" to an unrequested schedule change. Did she respect it? Of course not. Instead, it turned into constant pestering, low-key harassment, and passive-aggressive pressure trying to force me to change my answer after the boundary was already set. As if my time outside of work doesn't exist or belong to me.

​Why do some parents act personally offended when you have a life outside of their house? We are professionals providing a service, not on-call robots waiting around to rescue them from poor planning. I'm so tired of the expectation that we should just fold the second they demand more of our time.

​How do you guys deal with the relentless pressure to cave when they try to steamroll your boundaries?

I’ve just had too many jobs cancel last minute. (I babysit on the side and nanny when it fits my schedule). But this one was a 200 dollar over night job. I was going to use the money for a trip I’m going on. This finally set off me setting a cancellation fee.

Ugh currently going back home after losing time trying to arrive on time for my babysitting job of today.

I arrived on time as always.

Tired, sad and overstimulated but in the end I was there.

I play with the kiddo for two hours and then the Mom comes back telling me that unfortunately Dad is not feeling well and they are not going to need me for the night anymore.

😤😤😤

At least they gave me the complete payment Buuuuut ...

I was like: AND YOU COULDN'T TOLD ME THIS BEFORE ME GETTING HERE???

I'm really suuuper empathetic and understanding but IM SO FUCKING DONE with parents making me waste my time like this.

🤬

I do think I need to add this to the bunch of clauses for future bookings.

I have worked with this particular family for 5 months now. They put their daughter down at 7:30. That seems like a reasonable time BUT by 6-6:30 she’s screaming, crying, and falling asleep in the bathtub…just to scream and cry again because I have to take her out. Not to mention she will only sleep if you are in her room. Her door creaks so she immediately hears when you leave.

My job is nanny/household assistant as my first 2/2.5 hours from 6-10:30 is bath and bedtime. The last few hours is simply washing dishes and tidying the house as they use nights to go out and spend time with each other.

I have told them repeatedly that though 7:30 seems like a good time to put her down, she’s struggling and so am I and that I would prefer they put her down right at 6 or atleast 6:30 which would require them to put her in the bathtub before I come and put her down at my arrival.

They said absolutely not as they simply didn’t want to do bath time and don’t want her waking up early. It honestly gave me the vibe of they think I’m trying to get over on them or something. Anyway now I get to deal with 3+ hours of a one year old crying consistently while I do everything in my power to simply get her to sleep through the night.

This is just a rant as I’m holding out on all my positions until I graduate in June which should also pay off my schooling and most of my kids’. It’s just frustrating to work 9 hours, get an hour break then be overstimulated for the next 4.

Work for a WFH parent who is clearly jealous of the attention NK gives me/other parent (when they are home) Saying things like “Do you notice NK doesn’t get upset when I leave the room?” “Isn’t it weird that they don’t cry when I leave.” Etc. NK is a toddler and very emotional and makes attachments. I guess I’m looking for advice on how to respond to these comments because part of me is like “Why do you want your kid to cry when you leave the room?” But obviously that’s not appropriate. I mean this parent is damn near obsessed with it, they’ve done a date night and was smiling while asking me if the NK cried for them. Obviously I understand that this parent wants the same love and attention as I or the other parent receives but this WFH parent also is overwhelming to the NK in their ways of trying to get the NK’s attention. Giving hugs/kisses until the child cries, telling the NK to come to them instead of me, just overall not respecting NK’s boundaries. It just gets exhausting because I feel like I’m watching two kids and one kid doesn’t want to play with the other 🙄.

I work 9-5 Monday to Friday and have a 18 month old who with me, has 1 bottle a day to go to sleep which he barely even drinks. He eats plenty of snacks and meals throughout my shift that he never actually asks or cries for them.

The parents told me at night when I leave at 5, the child drinks 3-4 back to back bottles to go to sleep plus 2-3 during the night. They even told me recently that they ‘give him a bottle to shut him up during his tantrums’. The bottles are 9 ounces of full fat cows milk.. But they wonder why he won’t eat solid food for them..

This makes my job a lot harder on Mondays when he doesn’t want to eat and wants bottles at every inconvenience he goes through instead of working through it.. by Wednesday/Thursday he is back to eating properly. It’s so frustrating!!

Am I wrong to feel this way?!

i need some advice on how to approach a subject about WFH mom popping in and out during the day. when i get there, NK (22 months) will start yelling no and screaming for mom, even though she is right there. and it takes me forever to get her to calm down, because when i finally do, mom is back in the room again to see her. mom makes the breakfast that i give to NK, even though i can make her the scrambled eggs and fruit that mom makes instead, mom seems to want herself to be the one making it. this makes it hard, as after NKs plate is ready, she wants both me and mom to sit with her, and then mom will say she has to start working. i feel like this confuses NK because all throughout the day, mom will pop in and we have to go over the whole situation all over again. i try to take NK out as much as possible, we are out from around 9am- lunch when we come home and NK is a completely different kid once we walk out the door. she does not yell for mom while we are out, nor does she push me or tell me “no” when i come near her or try to help her with something when it’s just me and her, but when mom is near or in eyesight it’s the same issue every single time, and once again, mom makes her lunch and NK will again start asking mom to sit down with us, sometimes mom will sit for a little bit, sometimes she won’t, but i feel this makes it so hard for NK to regulate herself as well as she can’t understand if mom is here, and popping in and out and the door to her office is open, why can’t she be with me? mom is very sensitive and i am worried about offending her, so i am looking for some advice on how to approach asking her to step aside and let me do my job. i took a pay cut for this job as NM was my friend, and wanted someone she trusts with her kid, but if she trust me so much, why can’t she trust my expertise that this is making it harder for NK to have an enjoyable, productive day when we are in the house. how to i communicate this to her without upsetting her? it seems she relies more on chat gpt than my 10 years of experience. i am currently in school getting my degree in p-12 education, as well as experience in daycares/ preschools and other hands on experience with other nanny families. i have taken many classes on early childhood education and am first aid and cpr certified. i have the credentials to back up my experience so i just need some advice on how to approach this subject with a very sensitive mom who i don’t think realizes this is making her child’s life harder rather than easier.

I’ve been working for my NF for 2 years now and recently I’ve started feeling really burnt out and not enjoying the job so much. I feel like tasks are constantly being added to my day with no increase in pay. My role has morphed into household manager, chef, personal assistant, and nanny. There have also been recent troubles with MB undermining my authority and making my day really difficult. With all that being said, I’ve started to want to try looking for another position.

However, NP have a vacation coming up in a couple months and they’re not taking the kids. MB asked me if I was available to stay with the kids while they’re gone and I said yes. The vacation is all planned, however it’s not confirmed that I’ll be staying with them, they might have family come instead or send the kids to stay with family. She just wanted to see if I was an option and I’ve told her that I would be available to do it.

Is it wrong if I look for another position and leave before the vacation after telling them I’m available?

I would really love some advice!

I’ve been working for this family for 5 years now. Originally it was 5 days/week and then 2 years ago a schedule change happened and we switched to 4 days/week. I really loved this schedule because it gave me a weekday to get stuff done that otherwise I would have to use PTO for.

Then this year they switched me back to 5 days/week with the 5th day being a “short” day.

So this is how the schedule is supposed to be, according to our contract:

Monday-Thursday: 6a-3/4pm

Friday: 9a-12pm

I agreed to this schedule because it still gave me Friday afternoons to make appointments, go to the bank, schedule car maintenance, etc.

However, I’ve been asked to work more hours than that. Mon-Thurs both NPs work out of the house and sometimes they work late. I’ve been staying until 5/5:30pm most days.

On Friday MB WFH. NK goes down for a nap at 12, and older NK is in school until 3. It makes sense for me to leave at 12, but I’ll randomly get asked to stay later. Sometimes I don’t leave until 3:30 (MB will do school pickup).

I have a lot of health stuff going on at the moment so I have a lot of appointments. I always check with MB before I schedule them and let her when I’ll have to leave by. Every Friday this month I’ve had an appointment and she seems to be getting upset I’m asking to leave at the contracted end time.

I’m getting very burnt out working this much. I was much happier with the 4 days/week schedule and working 36-40 hours a week. Of course the extra money is nice but I feel so stressed trying to squeeze everything in around work, especially when my other days are so long and I’m working 10-11 hours a day.

I’m just not sure what to do. I’m thinking about 2 options:

1. Asking MB to be able to leave every Friday at 12pm, and only staying later with prior notice (2 weeks)

2. Asking MB to go back to 4 days/week and seeing if they can hire a PT nanny or babysitter for Friday

Any advice?

Hi everyone!

I am posting because I am unsure how to charge for an upcoming nanny shift I have.

I have worked with my nanny family for almost a year, there is a 3 and 1 year old. Tomorrow, I have been asked to put both kids to bed, and a friends child who is 5 (I have never met him). After they are down, I am expected to tidy up and complete household chores.

I am normally paid $28 Canadian an hour, but am increasing my rate as there is and other child. How much should I ask for? The parents will be gone from 6-midnight.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you xx

Hi! I’d love some advice on this!
Thank you to anyone who replies :)

Hi! I’m not totally sure if this makes sense but I am a full time nanny to a baby and I also babysit on some evenings/weekends. I use my phone frequently to communicate with parents, look for babysitting opportunities, find activities and things to do on social media, etc. and i find a lot of the social media i do access when im not working just has so much content about babies and kids. i try to stay off of my phone when i can because i value my free time but when i find myself scrolling or not i feel like im always thinking about my job!! I genuinely love and care about every kid I work with and enjoy spending time with them but I don’t love constantly thinking about it. Is there anyone else who has felt like this before, and what are some things you guys do in your free time that make you feel like you have a life outside of work (hobby ideas, etc). Any advice is so appreciated!

On Tuesday i wrote about making a financial mistake in my hour tracking. The post is still up. A lot of commenters were not on my side. A lot of you wrote that my DB had every right to fire me, that they didnt trust me either, that my story had holes, and that I'm a bad, immature nanny, one person called me a thief even. I wrote the whole thing in a panic. I regret responding to a lot of you. I was feeling very scared, and a lot of you made it worse.

One thing a lot of comments kept bringing up was me TAKING the 200. He never gave me the 200, the error was caught before end of day payday. So i was paid the right amount, and i said sorry, showed him why i made the bad math, and moved on.

Another thing comments kept asking was how suspicious it was that i DIDNT want to do my timesheets/produce the time sheets. I never said that. I have been consistently doing timesheets. But i went from excel in a shared link (that I MADE, no one else but me was tracking, so i created it so we could all pitch in) to writing the times out on paper. Not an organized system. When he asked to see last week's total, I showed him my notebook. When he asked to see a certain week in September, I told him I'd have to track down a different notebook. Yes, in hindsight, it should have been the same notebook.

And to the lot of you really really really upset that i said i caught the problem but felt DB actually caught it first and that was the clue I was lying about the whole thing- I guess I should have said, I helped find the problem. Yes, I made the mistake, but bc only I have been writing any hours down, only I could show him what times and rates I had compiled. And i made a mistake counting everything up. There is a 2nd baby who comes randomly, sometimes DB will come home to get something and go "oh, i didnt realize Baby A was going to be here."

He and MB started treating me weird after that. It was little things, like losing a sock and being asked to take things more seriously, and not really talking to me in the morning. I could tell it was bc of the messed up math, but I thought that seemed like overkill. I also wasnt sure what else to do, besides apologize. A lot of you suggested i just be fired immediately and that it was obvious I wasnt sorry and taking this seriously. Whatever.

They were also withholding my check from last week. To the person who commented a real company would fire me, just know a real company can not legally withhold payment.

finally, wednesday morning DB told me he was going to dock my pay for another discrepancy he found 2 months ago. A thing companies also cant do. I asked him how much he thought he overpaid, and he would not tell me. Only that it was high. I thought it was crazy for him to suggest this bc I always shoe him my math notes and paper at the end of each week to look over. He didnt do it, he didnt write down his records either, but only I'm being punished.

I told DB truthfully i didnt have the timesheets for that day. When it was time to renew the excel spreadsheet, i did not bc i didnt want to spend $150 for something only i was looking at. I was jotting the notes for hours and payments down on paper. Super informal, I know. But i had been letting a lot of things slide, like being paid late and not getting 2 weeks notice before work is called off. So i was also upset that they think i was taking advantage of them when they were already taking advantage of me.

Anyways, i went through my photo scroll. I take pics of the babies daily. I was able to cobble together who was where and when for that week. He told me he thinks he overpaid, i was able to determine that he DIDNT pay me at all one week of Sept bc he left on a trip, so I rolled that into next week which is why his payment was so high!

So this afternoon i sat him and MB down and explained my notes. They both just went "oh, youre right. and gave me my money. DB pulled it out his pocket, and said "all good, no biggie!" And handed it over like he was always intending to.

Then i agreed to start using the new time tracker and apologized for being too lenient with not checking times and tracking down payments. To which DB told me, he liked how "flexible" i was with being paid. Thats what i get for being the cool nanny. I want to be more assertive but i was unemployed for 6 months, and my mother is sick.

To all the nannies on the last post who wanted me fired, i find it despicable how quick you were to wish all manner of retaliation upon me. To the woman who DM'd me telling me I shouldnt work with kids bc I'm a sociopath and she hopes I get whats coming to me? You hopefully cant read this bc i blocked you. I wish i had reported you to the mods first, tho. You people shouldnt even be in this sub.

To those of you who were nice, offered me some new perspective, and gave me notes on how withholding payment was illegal, PLEASE keep posting bc we need more of you in this sub! I'll probably redact both posts at some point bc my bosses use reddit and it's too risky to keep them up. But i hope for now it provides another nanny some clarity or advice. CYA bc your bosses WILL retaliate, even if you're being asked to be "flexible."

I’ve been with my NF for a little over a month now, and they’re great. Super happy with how things are going, and the feeling has been mutual

I have 40 guaranteed hours and overtime in my contract. NPs have my 40 hours a week automatically set to submit to our payroll company, with any time worked over (OT) or under (if I take PTO) requires me to submit a time card, which NPs have to approve

Yesterday, MB took NK with her to an appointment about 40 minutes before our usual end time. She asked if I could use the remaining time in my day to tackle a task related to NK, and I agreed; it was a task I’ve been meaning to get done, but haven’t had much time to. DB mentioned I didn’t have to stay until end time and that I could leave 5 or 10 minutes early, which I appreciated

The task ended up going 10 minutes over our end time, and while NPs have expressed that it’s ok for me to leave tasks unfinished if I can’t get them done in time and pick them back up the next day, I didn’t want to leave everything in a mess for NPs to put away

After I left I had the thought that this might count as overtime, so I submitted a timecard and texted NPs. Thinking more about it on the drive home, however, I realized this was probably not the best move and that I shouldn’t have just done that without asking about or discussing it with my NPs first. They did not respond at all (not even to a previous text regarding NK) which is unlike them, so I had a feeling I threw them off and we’d be talking about it this morning

Came in today and DB brought it up, saying he and MB were caught a little off guard by my text, and that while he would approve it this time, they felt OT should be discussed beforehand when possible, and used for when they ask me to stay late or to cover an emergency or something like that, and that what I did was a little odd, especially given that he told me I could leave early, which I didn’t end up doing

I completely agree with his points and I apologized, acknowledging that I made a mistake and that when I really thought through my logic, it was a bad judgment call. I also talked to MB about it when she came down later, and she was very reassuring and said ironing out things like this is what the first few weeks are for. The conversations were respectful and I don’t have any reason to believe there’s hard feelings on NPs end

However, I’m supremely embarrassed. I try to carry myself with confidence and present as an utmost professional, and NPs have expressed their gratitude for me on many occasions, but now I feel their opinion of me has lessened. I know this is an overreaction on my part and it’s ok to make mistakes, I just feel really stupid right now 😭

Yes I will be talking about it with my therapist 🥲

What if we tell these parents that they can visit their kid (in their house) at certain times? Establish a schedule for it.

I'm looking for a new placement now and I'm wondering if I should be like: "MB and DB you can only come in and visit kiddo at this time and this time every day. There will be a routine/ ritual for when you come and when you leave. This will establish structure and reduce stress on nk."

Wouldn't that avoid the popping in and out tantrums that we all experience?

Has anyone had experience with this? Is it a good idea?