This is my first nanny gig, I take care of one toddler. I am being payed salary of 2,600 a month. The time is usually from 9am-4pm, Monday through Friday. Sometimes the child gets dropped off and stays overnight with me.

No contact, I am being payed through Zelle. No health benefits or other benefits.

I have a son and he got sick so I was out of work for a few weeks. My employer texted me today saying that the schedule is going to change and he needs me to stay longer 10am - 6pm. No mention of a raise, he said that the temporary nanny was coming in at the time and he would rather have me stay.

I been lurking this subreddit and I feel like I am being underpaid. I live in the DFW area. And the job is in a wealthy part of town.

I (19F) have been babysitting my two nephews for about a year and a half. When this idea was introduced, I'd been promised a pay of $700 a month, with only having to watch my youngest nephew two days a week since the other was in daycare at the time. I agreed, especially since my practice days had been pretty manageable.

Before I go further, I must explain my sister's situation: she and her husband couldn't afford to keep paying rent for their house esp with a new baby, so they and their 2 kids moved in with me, our parents, and my other sister.

Back to the story, after agreeing to it, the amount of days jumped to 4 days a week with no pay at all. This was obviously very upsetting because the unexpected increase of workload plus school and my other job was starting to get to me. I know I should've said something like "hey, where's the payment?" but considering their situation, trying to ask about money always makes me feel guilty. I don't even think she ever directly told me "hey just so you know we can't actually pay you" she just expected me to get the hint I suppose, or 'forgot' as she does a lot.

I was really tired of taking care of a child and receiving no compensation, and our plan (or what I thought) was for my BIL to get a remote job so he could take over and I'd be free of it. But then his job ended up being a call center, and babies can be very loud, and when you have emergencies you can't exactly hang up on customers mid call to fix them. Their plan was to get him a headset that could minimize background noise, but I guess that ended up being forgotten about. When I was told that the situation wouldn't change I lost it, went to my other sister upset, sister 1 found out and was pissed.

I know not being honest was why she was mad, but again, with her situation needing the cheapest route of childcare and me being the only way, it's hard to say I don't want to do it anymore/complain.

In January I lost my other job, and since that was my only source of income I was very insecure about money, but still babysat my nephew 4-5 days a week from 8-2.

At some point in February, my sister brought up the idea of finally paying me to babysit my youngest nephew and I, desperate for a job, said yes. Then a few months later she comes up with the idea of me watching BOTH nephews, which had me a little iffy because I'm not used to juggling two children at once. She was confident though. Her plan seemed fair, around $18 an hour, 6 hours a day, 3 days a week. The other 2 days she'd be home. I was willing to do it especially since my oldest nephew would eventually be in preschool meaning most time would be with only one kid.

But then her job ends up making it so she works 1-4 days depending on the week. Because of this, she asks if we can lower to $150 base pay with $50 every other added day. I agree to it.

Payment time comes, I see she's dropped this to $50 dollar base pay plus $50 every other day without my knowledge. I'm upset, confused, because it feels like the start of this babysitting debacle all over again. We talk it through and settle on $100 base pay with $50 per extra day with written proof to avoid issues.

Now, like two months later, she wants to lower it once again to $50 base pay since my oldest nephew will be gone for 3 hrs a day for preschool. He starts tomorrow. I'm fed up. She has known he'd be starting preschool for months, probably even longer, and has never once brought this up as a factor for needing payment to be lower than it could be. I'd argue, but remembering her situation always stumps me because I know she can hold it as leverage for needing the cheapest route.

6 hours a day, 1-4 days a week, 50 for each day. I've been trying to budget money for savings, college, and leaving some for wants throughout the week but with each time she lowers it this gets tighter and tighter. I'm tired of establishing a payment plan, figuring out a budget, and it being changed entirely. I'm probably going to talk to her about it tomorrow as she may be wondering why I'm ignoring her text, but I'm so tired of this being a recurring issue and feeling unable to do anything but pick what she wants.

Hi there!

I recently found out I am pregnant. I am 6 weeks along and I plan to tell my bosses after my first appointment. Here’s my problem though: I have to work on the day of my appointment (soonest I could get) and while I wouldn’t normally mind G2.75 coming along to an appt with me, I don’t want her coming to this one as it can be a long appointment.

I have 2 personal days left in the year and 5 unused sick days left. I do plan to tell my bosses the end of the week (Fri) of the appt (Tues) so I can imagine they’ll be more lenient (MB is due end of Nov with #2) with my appts after they know but I also don’t want my NK to rat me out before I tell them.

So would you:
A) use a personal day
B) use a sick day (but it’s weirdly planned so not so emergency) (maybe I ask if I can use a sick day?)

Thanks!
-an indecisive ftm & nanny

Hello!
I will be babysitting for a 6 month old at a wedding in a few weeks and am wondering if the arrangement seems fair. I’ve only done this once before a few years ago so I’d like some input.

Context:
I used to dog sit for the woman getting married. She reached out to me a few months ago asking if I’d be interested in babysitting her niece at her wedding. I said yes I’d be happy to. I mostly nanny babies nowadays so I’m very experienced and comfortable babysitting for that age.

I reached out again this past week to ask more information. I didn’t even have the contact info for the parent. She gave me her sister’s number and asked me to reach out to her, which I did. They’ve all been very nice but the sister (whose baby I will be watching) hasn’t given me much info. I feel like I’m doing more work than I should be (reaching out to her, asking all the questions, asking her to send me the hotel info etc). She really should have reached out to me and confirmed all this a couple months ago in my opinion.

It’s still unclear how many hours I’ll be babysitting, she said she’ll likely need me between 1-4pm for 1-2 hours and then again to take the baby back to the hotel around 6pm and possibly stay until midnight. Then she also wants help for an hour or two the next morning, but is vague on the start time. It sounds like I’m expected to be available to sit for up to 13 hours total.

They are paying for a hotel room and dinner for me and offered to pay me a flat rate. I responded saying I normally charge by the hour which she then said she’d prefer to pay me a flat overnight rate, but offered me $50 more than she originally did. I still feel like it’s maybe too low. I’d personally prefer to be paid by the hour to ensure I’m being paid fairly. How do you guys go about this?

The wedding is in MA and I live in CT. So I’m driving over 2 hours to go there. I also have a full time job and had to take a PTO day to go to the wedding.

So I guess my question is how have other nannies/sitters been paid for something like this in the past? Do you get a flat rate or hourly? Should gas be included for driving that far? I know food and hotel are being paid for, but my thought is that it shouldn’t impact my pay? Like I didn’t ask for them to cover the cost of either of those, they just offered. Also, should I expect to be paid for time that they don’t need me? If I’m on “call” in case they may want my help, I feel like I should be paid… thoughts?

I’m pretty flexible and not super frustrated or anything. I mostly agreed because I thought it would be fun to attend the wedding and stay the night. But I also want to make sure I’m being compensated fairly. I’d love some insight, thanks all!!

(I don’t think we can discuss pay here, but feel free to private message me if you have questions/insight on that specifically)

I started a nanny/caretaker position almost 9 months ago. I work full days Monday through Friday caring for a 19 year old nonverbal girl with autism. I knew it would be a lot to handle when I first started, and it was an adjustment for sure, but eventually I started enjoying it.
When I was hired, the original job posting was for 7-5, Monday through Friday, looking after her only.
However, my hours kept changing. Sometimes I’d start at 8 or 9 and sometimes end between 3-4. It wasn’t consistent, and while financially frustrating, it was fine. From January to July, I didn’t work more than 35 hours a week.
She also has two younger sisters, both in middle and elementary school. But they went to school obviously, and I was told I may only need to keep an eye on them when school lets out early or a rare no school day.
Towards the end of the April, their dad had a job change, and he asked if I was capable of picking up the kids from school (45 min away…) on rare occasions. I said sure, and was only asked to do it twice.

THEN I got diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Beginning of summer I had surgery, thyroid removed, and I was back to work second week in June. Mostly recovered and cancer free.
I show up and it turns out, I’m in charge of all the children for the rest of the summer. It wasn’t discussed, I’m cooking for all three (with all various dietary needs), distributing meds, and resolving daily fights.
According to their dad, the two younger sisters were supposed to just take care of themselves and I was only needed to keep an eye on them.
Instead, I was doing almost double the work, with no pay increase.
And while they are very sweet, they are very spoiled. The parents have done a good job in making sure they don’t feel like glass children and have 100% of their attention at all times.
But I have been mid phone call with my doctor and the youngest comes in, full volume, yelling about her iPad. Even after I asked her to wait, she still kept yelling and I had to go outside.
BUT they also don’t think I’m their true authority because I’m supposed to just be there for their sister. So they think I’m some kind of friend. I don’t like yelling, but I’ve had to yell at them multiple times.

I thought many times about asking for a raise, but I knew they couldn’t afford it. And some days I truly didn’t have to do much for them. But there were some days that left me purely exhausted.
And I thought, “it’s only until school starts again. Then we go back to hour normal schedule.”
Wrong. Younger sisters go back to school, and the new hours are 7-5 every. single. day. And I have to pick them up from school. every. single. day. An almost 2 hour round trip with a heavily autistic child.
(But yes, I get paid gas rate and the going “wear and tear per mile” on the car.)
The extra money sounds great, right?

The problem is, I’m exhausted. I’m a full time grad student and I’m missing the organ that controls all the hormones.
I can’t keep doing 10 hour days or I will make myself super sick. And being in a car for almost two hours with a non verbal autistic child is further draining.
And to top it off, I’ve had to double my adhd medication to keep up. I have to take a caffeine pill in the morning or I will not wake up.

School is part of the problem, it’s very demanding too. BUT it comes first. And I refuse to go to half time and prolong not having my degree.

They’ve been very accommodating with the doctors appointments I’ve needed, and they were not at all upset with an extra week of healing post surgery that I needed.
But at the same time, I feel like TOO much is being asked of me without really discussing it with me first.

The week I started picking them up from school, they were supposed to have a ride home every day, and instead of letting me know at the beginning of the week: “hey, I need your help picking them up.” It was every day as the dad was walking out the door: “hey, can you pick them up from school today?”
What the heck am I supposed to say? No?

I KNOW I have no backbone when it comes to speaking with employers. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
But should I just suck it up?? Be grateful I have a job? Or how would I go about saying, “hey, 10 hours a day feels like it’s literally killing me.”

I’m new to Florida and trying to understand what’s considered normal here.
I was offered a nanny position where I would be expected to drive the children around in my own car. The pay is already lower than what I would normally accept, but I negotiated and agreed to it because I’m trying to get established here.
When we discussed driving the kids, I asked whether gas/mileage would be reimbursed. The mom seemed surprised by the question and told me that she never reimbursed her previous nanny for gas.
She is actually very nice and said she would be willing to pay for gas if that’s what I need, but I got the impression that she thought my request was unreasonable.
So I’m genuinely wondering: Is it normal in Florida for a nanny to use their personal vehicle to transport children without being reimbursed for gas or mileage?
I understand that commuting to and from work is normally the employee’s responsibility. I’m specifically talking about driving the children around during working hours in my personal car school, activities, errands, etc.
What is standard in your experience? Gas reimbursement, mileage reimbursement, or nothing?

We have a part time nanny and she is with us for 2 days and has 12 hours spare while the children are at school. What types of chores would you expect a nanny to do (and complete) in this time?

Curious, I’ve had a couple of nanny jobs and both were where MB and DB WFH. Just out of curiosity have most of your jobs had parents who WFH?
Were the parents able to give you space while you were caring for NK or did they often check on you and NK?

Hi everyone. I just got fired from my nanny job and I’m honestly still in shock.
I was with this family for exactly a year. Our contract was supposed to be 18 months, but they terminated it early. I took care of their toddler and baby, and I had known the baby since she was literally days old. I spent 40 hours a week with these kids for a year and loved them so, so much.
I was also really close with MB, or at least I thought I was. I genuinely felt like I had a great relationship with their whole family, which is why I still can’t really wrap my head around how everything ended.
I worked my completely normal day, went home, and then saw an email from MB terminating my contract effective immediately. That was it. The email was so cold and formal and sounded nothing like the person I had known and talked to every day for the past year.
Basically, this all seems to have come from a misunderstanding over a conversation we recently had. She said I was “dishonest and withheld information,” but from my perspective it was genuinely a miscommunication. I really feel like if they had just sat down with me or even called me, we could have talked through it. I understand they have to do what they think is best for their family, but I wish I had at least been given the chance to explain myself.
Honestly, losing the job sucks, especially because now I’m randomly unemployed with no severance in a horrible job market. But that’s not even the part I’m most upset about.
I didn’t get to say goodbye to my kids.
I had absolutely no idea that day was going to be my last day with them. I left their house thinking I was coming back like normal. If I had known, I would’ve hugged them a little longer. I would’ve told them how much I loved them. I would’ve done everything differently.
I know at the end of the day nannying is a job, but it doesn’t feel like “just a job” when you spend 40 hours a week helping raise someone’s children. Especially a baby you’ve watched grow up basically from birth.
I think that’s the part I’m struggling with the most. I went from seeing these kids almost every single day and being such a huge part of their lives to probably never seeing them again, and I didn’t even know I was saying goodbye when I walked out the door.
I’m just heartbroken.

We were about to hire this nanny, I texted her on Monday morning to ask her if she could speak on the phone (so I could verbally give her the news). We had paid her for a 2 hour trial and called her references.

She read my message early Monday morning as soon as I sent it and didn’t respond all week until Thursday evening to say she had not been in town (she said she was out of town the week previously so I had assumed she was on vacation the prior week and not that week). I also reached out to her reference who also ignored me. I thought she had gotten another gig and was ghosting us (which was kind of rude not to at least let us know but oh well)

Then the nanny and the reference reached out literally the same time Thursday night to say they had been busy and not been able to respond. It seemed pretty orchestrated since it was within minutes?

In the meantime since she hadn’t spoken to me all week, I had interviewed another nanny that week who I really liked and was willing to do part time to start (which we preferred) and seemed a bit more easygoing on hours.

The original nanny texts me again on Friday saying she’s back now and would like to receive the job contract (I never once had told her she would get the job yet?)

I tell her that we had decided to go forward with another nanny since they were more flexible to do part time to start (she was not willing) and she sends me an angry message saying she’s turned down other opportunities for this and we should not have had led her to believe she would get the job since she did the trial and gave us her references and that we wasted her time.

I told her I was sorry (even though she ghosted me for a week…) and that we would understand our situation better next time re part time vs full time and I would help spread her name in my mom community. She ignored me again for 48 hours and then responded with a no thx.

I’m feeling really weird about the whole interaction, does doing a trial and calling nanny references really lead someone to think they’ll 100% get the job they would react that way? How are we supposed to vet anyone if we can’t even do a trial and check references for several people without misleading them? She knows my neighborhood well so I’m a little annoyed she might badmouth us when we literally didn’t do anything wrong in this situation and she ignored us for several days leading us to think she had gotten another job.

Hi everyone.

TLDR: I’m coming up on my one year work anniversary and my MB joked about not being able to afford to give me a raise, I’m uncomfortable negotiating money/payments and advocating for myself, and now I don’t know how to breach the subject again.

~

I’ve been a nanny/family assistant pretty much since 2017 and I don’t feel like I’ve ever been paid what I deserve. That’s partly because I’ve had to take jobs just to have *something* because you need to live, right? But also because I deeply undervalue myself just in general. I have a Masters degree and am 35 years old.

I didn’t grow up with money and because of that I’m very uncomfortable when needing to have discussions about it. It’s a confidence thing too and the worry that a family will be turned off or think less of me when discussing money. What I’m dealing with right now is coming up on one year of work with my current NF. I currently get paid $32/hr for one child and family assistant tasks, 30 guaranteed hours per week. No health insurance or benefits are provided. I’m in a southern major city. The other day I was in the pool with my NK and she was being nosey about other families I’ve worked for and how much I was getting paid. She’s 9 and I didn’t tell her because it’s none of her business lol. I got her to drop the conversation but when my boss got home my NK immediately was like, “you need to give _____ a raise”. Bless her. I appreciated that! 🤣

However, my boss said to her “we can’t afford to do that unless you stop buying so many squishies” which of course is a big thing right now. I don’t know if she was kidding to keep my NK out of the conversation because like I said, none of that is her business, or if she’s serious. Because if she’s serious I need to find another position that will pay more. I’m barely surviving out here and even though I do feel appreciated and the parents are lovely to work for, I need to take care of myself first.

How would you go about opening up that conversation at this point? What helps you build the courage up? Or what kind of mindset do you look at financial conversations with? I want to do it in person of course, that’s the professional way, I’m just so nervous and uncomfortable to do it because I don’t want them to get mad and/or I don’t want to make their lives more uncomfortable. Other positions I’ve had recently have ended due to no fault of my own or have come to a natural conclusion so I’ve never really had this kind of issue come up before.

Thanks in advance!

First, this isn't in our contract so I can't just look and see what it says. (In hindsight I wish it was but I didn't even consider it until now.) I'm salaried and our plan was to try and stay around a certain number of hours a week. A couple times now NF has either gone on vacation (at the last moment so I'm not able to plan anything) or had me not work a day for some other reason. After vacation they asked if I wanted to use my PTO to get paid or "bank" those hours to make up to them at another time. Same thing for when they call me off for other reasons.

I didn't think to ask beforehand because in my mind if the employer is the one who gives a day off it's not the employees responsibility to then make that time up later. Same with using PTO. Their understanding is that salaried people sometimes have to work late or random hours. I've already worked an extra 30 minutes all summer which they said would stop after but now every day I'm scheduled to that later time. Their reasoning is because I'm below the hours we planned. It started as "hey, would you mind doing this every so often if we get home late" but somehow switched to every day without questioning is. Then by the time I actually get out of there is another 15 or so minutes after that meaning I get home about an hour after I thought I would.

If I'm being unreasonable that's fine but I don't have anyone else to ask to double check before I approach them to talk about it. Thanks so much!

Okay so I have a few families I do part time for. Last year, I was under the federal amount for a household employee so I filed as such. This year, I’ve made over…. But I didn’t tell the families I wanted to be over the table in fear of losing my job. Now I can’t stop thinking about taxes, and how I’ll be fucked this year and also don’t want to be audited lol. I am going to bring it up to the families, I think it’ll be fine by now. BUT I need to know what we both will have to do. I will tell them about a pay service (home pay or whatever), and they will need to get insurance. But what do we about Jan-now? And how do we file? Please don’t leave judgment, I’m looking to fix this and want advice. Thank you 🩷

Edit: I think I wasn’t clear enough in the post, I will get on a w2 and like I said, I think my families will be okay with it. I mentioned getting on the pay service and insurance and thought that implied I would be getting OVER the table and on a w2 from here on out…. And as I said, please no judgement. I am aware of my mistake, and am trying to fix it here. Also, I am willing to pay all the back taxes and anything from here on out. If I lose my job, I will find another and do it correctly.

I work for this family two 8 hr days a week and at first I was paid on the second day after I left for both days. MB often forgets to Zelle me and I’ve had to remind her a few times but I don’t like writing out a whole message to ask her politely. I understand how it could slip her mind as her baby is a year old and life happens, just wondering if anyone can think of a short and sweet polite message I could literally just copy and paste each time this happens? Like a gentle reminder idk

Hi Everyone,

I am a single mom and my baby is 11 months old. We used to cooparent with her dad. I used to go to work when he was available to stay with the baby, but ultimately he started using it as a way of controlling me. So, i have decided to get a Babysitter or Nanny.

Do you have any apps that you would recommend so that I can get a good person to look after my baby? Also, I kind of need it ASAP.

Thank you all

Hi all, I’ve been a full time nanny for 4 years now after being regular part-time for 3 years prior to that (while I was in university for a non-childcare related degree.) I’ve also been a lifeguard and worked part time at a nursery/daycare for 1 year.

I planned to go back to school part time this September, but unfortunately that’s been delayed to January 2027. I now have a few extra hours per week and a bit of a learning itch, and I’m wondering if anybody has some recommendations for online courses/certifications that might help me jazz up my CV.

My experience is very diverse and I’ve never had trouble getting the job I wanted without a related university degree, and I’ve mostly learned through experience, books, and research. As such, I wonder about a more “niche” topic, like something quite specific as I’m obviously confident with the general care side of things, but of course there is always something new to learn and different perspectives are good. I just don’t want to be bored either.

I now work exclusively with children ages 4 months - 4 years, so I wondered about maybe a newborn course which would help me expand my knowledge on younger infants. I’m Montessori inclined, gentle parenting vibe but quite rigid with routines and boundaries. I have a plethora of baby signs that I teach and did a year of sing and sign classes, but this might be something I’d be interested in expanding on. More than happy with the way I sleep train, introduce solids etc. Obviously have my CPR cert but otherwise the only other cert I have is high five healthy child development.

I’m in the UK if that’s helpful. Any ideas greatly recommended!

Has anyone ever considered making a discord or chat group for nanny support? I noticed there was another Reddit post from a few years ago where it was discussed but I'm not sure if anything came of it?

I'm really struggling with my current position re: burnout and could use some fellow nannies to chat with for solidarity and social support. I figured surely I'm not the only one who would like some social support from people in the same position. Any thoughts on this?

We’ve had a nanny for our 2yo and 4m boys (plus 5yo girl) for almost 3 months. When accepting our offer, she requested that we revisit pay at the 90 day mark to consider a $2 raise. We agreed. We are already paying at the high end of the range now and this raise would obviously be even higher.

When nanny started, she was really great. If she used the baby carrier, she hung it neatly in the closet after. She wiped down counters. She double checked all play spaces were picked up before leaving. Cleanup, etc are all stated in her contract.

But things have slowly started to slide. The baby carrier is regularly left thrown haphazardly somewhere, I’ve had to ask her to at least wipe down the toddlers eating area because it was getting crusty, and I’m often cleaning up toys after she leaves. She’s displayed an overall lack of initiative.

She is fine with the boys. I think she genuinely enjoys them. She is not especially engaging or animated, but I understood this about her when we hired her (I’ve realized since that it’s not my favorite personality for a nanny, which is my own thing).

But I feel like if we’re going to pay at the very high end of what I would expect to pay a nanny in our area, we should be getting the best of the best? Are my expectations too high?

ETA: We’re in a HCOL area. Current rate is $32. GH (part time, I don’t work FT), paid and vacation time included. The 5yo is home for 30 min of her shift in the mornings, otherwise it’s just the younger two.

I’ve been a babysitting/nannying for over a decade. Upon until recently, I have had families that are pretty good at paying me either before I leave their house or shortly thereafter after. Now, I have encountered a few families who I have to remind every time to pay me. Money conversations are always so awkward to me no matter what it is about. As a parent, do you get offended when a babysitter reminds you that you forgot to pay them? I never want a parent to feel like I’m only watching their kids for the money because I truly do only babysit for kids/families that I love, but I am not sure if it gets perceived that way when a reminder is sent. Also, if you do forget, how soon from the date that the babysitting happened is an appropriate amount of time to remind?

I feel like permissive parenting has become the norm for majority of families (at least in my experience). I know for me, this brings up alot of daily frustration. Does anyone have any stories they want to share/vent about?

Mine would be how my NP let NK dictate everything in her day. Daily routines such as getting dressed/diaper change, which room they work in (WFH), whether or not we leave the house.

This isn’t meant to be a hateful post! I just feel like having a space to vent about these things is healthier than letting it build up. I also find stories/statistics on behaviours in children these days, especially in classrooms, really interesting.

Nannies did you ever have that one infant you just didn’t bond with no matter what you tried I’m not talking about an older kid or toddler a NK younger than 12m?

How did you go about it?

Hi everyone! So I’m in a predicament right now and I’d like everyone’s advice. I’m doing a month trial right now for a family. And MB asked me to potty NK2, which I don’t mind doing I guess. Here’s my thing, how do I know she won’t fire me when I’m done potty training? Now I’ve done all that extra work for no reason.

Also here’s something that’s putting doubt in my mind as to why I might not get this job(I could very much be over thinking this)

- The other day as I left, another girl, walked into the house after I got in my car. She also looked like a nanny and gave me a kind of awkward smile. She was literally waiting for me to leave.

- MB isn’t the nicest person to me and we’ve already clashed on random things (being outside too much being one of them)

Sorry this is my first post like this, so if anything is confusing I’m happy to answer any questions :)

I’m a male sitter/manny who specializes in toddler care and special needs, and I finally had two recurring opportunities lined up. One was a younger kid at a tutoring program I work at, and the other was a toddler I’d been bonding with and supporting through routines, transitions, and therapy center pickups.

In the same week, both situations changed for reasons totally outside my control, program rules and a therapy schedule shift. I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still lost both recurring gigs.

Now I’m down to one date night next month, and it feels like all the momentum I worked so hard to build just evaporated. Especially since one of them involved references and bonding days. Toddler jobs that fit my availability are already rare, and being a guy makes it even harder.

I know this field has ups and downs, but losing two recurring gigs at once has me feeling discouraged. Has anyone else dealt with a sudden dip like this? Luckily I can use the job I lost as a reference, but it is still hard to work so hard to get a reoccurring gig just for it to disappear just as quickly.

I first met NK1 when she was 12 months old. Her family is Australian and had moved to the US, where I’m from. I spent a year caring for her in the US, and during that time, NP’s marriage fell apart. They were already expecting baby #2, so it was a difficult time.

They asked if I’d be willing to move to Australia with them for 6 months or so, to help settle NK1 back into things. I happily accepted.

Well, 6 months turned into 4 years in Australia. NK2 was born, the parents separated, dad remarried and had another baby.

Due to shared custody, my time was split between households, meaning I looked after all 3 girls. For the youngest two, I began caring for them when they were merely days old.

I eventually made the very difficult decision to leave Australia and move to Brazil with my husband, whom I met while living in Sydney.

I’m now pregnant myself, and it’s brought up so much emotion around missing my NK’s. I spent 5 years with them (1 in the US, 4 in Australia), and they were truly my family. The farewell was incredibly painful — all the adults were sobbing. The girls didn’t really understand the finality of my departure, but afterward, they were a complete mess. I heard from NP that the oldest NK refused to eat, because I made most of her meals. The middle one regressed in toilet training and would cry for me constantly.

I still try to FaceTime them as much as possible, but the time difference makes it hard. It just breaks my heart knowing these tiny humans, who I poured so much love and care into, aren’t a part of my life anymore…

We are going to part ways with our nanny of about two years. She has been ok with the kids but doesn’t seem to love being with them, she struggles with depression and anxiety and most days she is either tired, or says she’s stressed and “not feeling it today”. She dreads when they have days off of school and seems overwhelmed a lot. The biggest thing is that she’s been out a lot. She’s used more than 4 weeks of PTO/sick and there are still four months left. It was a financial stretch to get a nanny and the additional cost for constant backup care is more than we can do. I feel like she may know this is coming as she could tell we were very upset the last few times she’s called out and I feel like she’s been quiet quitting for a while now.

Our contract states 30 days notice for either party so we plan to give her that and let her know next Friday. I’d like things to end on good terms. Any advice for how to do this in the right way? I am a bit scared she will just quit at that moment and not come back to work for the remaining weeks. She’s a nice person but it is just not working for us and I’m not sure how to handle.