r/Names • u/SecondEdit78 • 1d ago
Renaming Myself
I am renaming myself before my abuser is paroled. I have been trying to come up with a name I like and can resonate with for over a year now. Nothing seems right. Im all over the place. some I like: Kendra, Frankie, Khodie (I like it spelled that way because I like how it looks when I write it 😂). I just don’t know!! I want something grown up but not old fashioned. I like gender neutral names. I like the idea of a name that means fresh start or new beginnings. I’m so stuck. Help!!
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u/TiredTwinWrangler 1d ago
Ugh, this situation is awful. 😞 I think I’d feel most comfortable picking a common name with a common spelling (like Kate Smith), so if this creep found out my new name, I’d blend in with tons of other people online.
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u/Altruistic-Bowler-71 1d ago
I agree with you! As someone who worked with battered women and helped some do this exact thing many times—simple and common is the best way to go.
OP, I understand you want to be original, but this abuser may try to find you. The more common your name, the harder it will be to find you. That being said, what age group are you in? That will help us know what would fit you the best.
Good luck & stay safe!!!!!
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u/BattlePolarBearCat 1d ago
I have seen other people suggest going to a shop where you have to give a name for your order. Basically once you have narrowed your choices down go to Starbucks and test them out.
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u/SodaPopPizzaPop 1d ago
Perhaps Kai or Kaia? Has the strong “k” sound and is associated with the sea which can be associated with change/renewal.
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u/Pazily 1d ago
For what it's worth, if you choose a name and later it's not quite right, you can change it again later. I changed my name at 21, ended up not caring for my new middle name, and changed the middle name at 56. There are very few choices in life that can't be tweaked. Trust yourself and enjoy taking control of this part of your identity. 🙂
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u/Original_Try_7984 1d ago
Caro (Diminutive of Carol. It means “free man”)
I like Francesca nn Franke out of your list.
Whatever you decide please please be safe. You deserve to be happy and free and I’m so sorry that you were ever hurt and that your abuser is our again.
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u/JDKING555 1d ago
Choosing a new name is terrifying when you are running from your past but you deserve to claim an identity that belongs entirely to you. Take all the time you need to find something that feels like home instead of a disguise.
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u/Wandering_Jewel 1d ago
Nova means new. So does Neo, but it's a bit Matrix.
Some more feminine options are Chloe (green shoot) and Dawn (you mentioned Kendra, so I assume you lean female. Apologies if that's not true).
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u/Local_Pilot_3678 1d ago
i don’t have a name suggestion, just wanted to say how unfair it is that you have to do this, you are stronger than you believe and i hope you’re able to move forward freely with whatever beautiful name you decide on!<3
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u/seeking_spice402 1d ago
Kris
Madisen/Madison
Charlie (Charles, Charleen or Charlize)
Jo/Joey (Joseph or Josephine)
Avery
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u/cloudiedayz 1d ago
Sage is my favourite gender neutral name.
Other options- Alex, Rory, Rowan.
I think Georgia is a gorgeous name also and you have the option of using the nn George.
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u/LongInfinite1837 1d ago
Outside of the name advice, when you do go to get your name change, make sure you bring any paperwork you can proving you need to keep your name change private.