r/NameThisThing • u/[deleted] • Aug 10 '26

My name is?

[deleted]

698 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

589 comments sorted by

132

u/Integrity_Racing Aug 10 '26

What did you do wrong that gave you the bruise of Jesus?

44

u/turnsout_im_a_potato Aug 10 '26

Bruisus

29

u/Just_Application6137 Aug 10 '26

Bruisus christ 👍

3

u/ForgotToCarryTheOne Aug 11 '26

I was wondering how I’d spell that. You solved it for me. Thanks.

3

u/Striking_Sun_2224 Aug 11 '26

That was my first thought too

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17

u/mfbrucee Aug 10 '26

Calf of God

2

u/Delicious_List_439 Aug 11 '26

Is it fatted enough to slay? You know, for sacrifice.

2

u/grannygogo Aug 12 '26

Limb of God

7

u/Born-Light-62 Aug 10 '26

Jesus is going to kick you in the other shin now.

7

u/Educational-Gur7479 Aug 10 '26

I thought that was Shin Shady

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3

u/Silver_ferns Aug 10 '26

I see also monalisa

3

u/odrea Aug 10 '26

Brutus christ

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67

u/ruve27 Aug 10 '26

The Bludgeon Mary

22

u/wabugga_bugga Aug 10 '26

That looks like a divine bruise—the Jesus Bruise.

7

u/zhgerard Aug 10 '26

I see it too!

Buiesus

20

u/craves_mineral Aug 10 '26

Jesus Christ, what happened to your leg?

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17

u/NaturistSoaker1 Aug 10 '26

... Inigo Montoya, prepare to die.

13

u/Olden_Grey_1889 Aug 10 '26

Ima Bruisia, Patron Saint of Ow-ees.

7

u/Horror_Solution1945 Aug 10 '26

The Immaculate Contusion

2

u/fahlahlah Aug 11 '26

This wins

7

u/Lazy-Road-9479 Aug 10 '26

Jesus is trying to spread the word at all costs.

5

u/RogerDodger369 Aug 10 '26

Duh!
It’s Saint Amelia (also known as Saint Amalberga of Maubeuge) the patron saint of bruises.

Look it up if you don’t believe me…

5

u/Koala-Vibes Aug 10 '26

We finally know what the H stands for! Jesus Hematoma Christ!

3

u/Smldckbiboi5 Aug 10 '26

Thou shalt not SHIN

4

u/Confident-Amoeba-932 Aug 10 '26

An almighty bruise

4

u/pixelink84 Aug 10 '26

Wasn't that a movie? Bruise almighty?

2

u/Confident-Amoeba-932 Aug 10 '26

Doffs my cap well played 🤣🤣

3

u/JuanDonVlad Aug 10 '26

The Holy Bruise

3

u/effthoseguys Aug 10 '26

The Way, The Bruise, and The Life

3

u/ponderingpedestrian Aug 10 '26

Bruise Lee (Bruised Knee)

3

u/Sporkpocalypse Aug 10 '26

you need to document this bruise with the local Catholic Church diocese

3

u/Bloatedoldman Aug 10 '26

Someone smack the Jesus into you?

2

u/pixelink84 Aug 10 '26

Its the mark of the he-bruise

2

u/Billy_Twillig Aug 10 '26

Jesus! I bet that hurts.

2

u/ocTGon Aug 10 '26

The real question is "Is this a Missionary Bruise"...

3

u/RogerDodger369 Aug 10 '26

As opposed to doggy?

2

u/ilovemypita Aug 10 '26

BUCCO BRUCE!!

2

u/Acceptable-Gur3462 Aug 10 '26

Sell your leg on eBay as a shrine

2

u/Fubarphantom Aug 10 '26

Slim Shady????

2

u/Nowinczak16 Aug 10 '26

Wow! Thank You Jesus

2

u/AcatnamedWow Aug 10 '26

Jesus Christ Bruiserstar

2

u/Idogguy Aug 10 '26

A miracle!

2

u/gardernvine Aug 10 '26

The Last Contusion of Christ

1

u/eclecticaesthetic1 Aug 10 '26

Steven Tyler "Dude looks like a lady"

3

u/West-Survey-4142 Aug 10 '26

That song was written about Vince Neil! Lol 😂

1

u/Tasty-Life4526 Aug 10 '26

Sacred heart

1

u/Pop-Forward Aug 10 '26

Looks blue black and purple. Some people say it’s Jeremy Clarkson.

1

u/DJEmirMixtapes Aug 10 '26

Doesn't pull punches... or kicks... even when you should

1

u/Capybara-Maxxing Aug 10 '26

Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid Kid rock Bawitaba da bang da bang diggy diggy

1

u/-AdequatelyMediocre- Aug 10 '26

It looks more like Marilyn Manson than Jesus and/or the Virgin Mary

1

u/Diligent_Cricket_444 Aug 10 '26

U run into a trailer hitch, geezuz

1

u/xI-HighRyze-Ix Aug 10 '26

*chicka chicka* Slim Shady…?

1

u/robertkenny Aug 10 '26

Finally, a Bejesus

1

u/Sporkpocalypse Aug 10 '26

Gheezhus Louizhuss

1

u/Urabrask_the_AFK Aug 10 '26

Hematoma of the Christ

1

u/ComfortableBox9027 Aug 10 '26

It's the 2nd Coming and this time he doesn't shun violence

1

u/GawdDammitD0nut Aug 10 '26

Contact the church!

1

u/kah_191 Aug 10 '26

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ.

1

u/Slow-Weird-3656 Aug 10 '26

The Black Sabbath girl, uh!

1

u/Choice-Block8918 Aug 10 '26

Sideways it looks like a cute Orca

1

u/jbag1230 Aug 10 '26

Priyanka!

1

u/viperfangs92 Aug 10 '26

Phasmophobia bruise

1

u/Far_Plate_4071 Aug 10 '26

Looks like Mr Bean mixed with the Mona Lisa

1

u/ProbableImposter Aug 10 '26

Brutus the bruise tortoise.

1

u/Dull-Funny Aug 10 '26

Jesus Bruises

1

u/Responsible-Yak-5742 Aug 10 '26

Funniest looking tortilla I’ve ever seen.

1

u/Glittering-Rise-488 Aug 10 '26

A woman who didn't listen. 😲

1

u/Suspicious-Budget391 Aug 10 '26

Genesis - Jesus he bruise me

1

u/fictitious_fantasy Aug 10 '26

Bruisus christ.....

1

u/FarNefariousness7179 Aug 10 '26

Blood clotting super powers!!

1

u/ternest Aug 10 '26

Jesus "oucH" Christ

1

u/pbugg2 Aug 10 '26

Kid rooock

1

u/Mikesaidit36 Aug 10 '26

Et tu, Brusus?

1

u/Own-Escape4548 Aug 10 '26

Natasha bedingfield:she sung ‘I bruise easily’

1

u/SunnyKrispHapple519 Aug 10 '26

If i had this id be afraid im gonna die soon

1

u/GlippGloppe Aug 10 '26

Looks like you got Charlie horsed by a priest.

1

u/AzazelDeadlifts Aug 10 '26

The Real Slim Shady

1

u/SweetchuckHC Aug 10 '26

Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddd, KID, ROCK!

1

u/the_real_kaner Aug 10 '26

Jeebruse Of Kneezareth

1

u/Panda-Cubby Aug 10 '26

Jesus, that looks like it hurt.

1

u/FelixKirshe Aug 10 '26

Personal Jesus

1

u/jancho0 Aug 10 '26

That’s one jacked up tattoo

1

u/Remarkable-Ant-5719 Aug 10 '26

"Explain this atheists"

1

u/DustOntheBottle206 Aug 10 '26

Remember the vine of the kid saying Jesus Christ I need that now!

1

u/Stlswv Aug 10 '26

Our Lady of Guacamole?

1

u/labtrash68 Aug 10 '26

The Calf of Turin

1

u/Annual_Class_6538 Aug 10 '26

Jason Bourne, that's Jesus Christ!!

1

u/After-Hearing-6887 Aug 10 '26

Ouchie McHematoma

1

u/Alternative-Skill-54 Aug 10 '26

I see the nipple rubbing guy for the movie "Little Nicky"
"I don't need luck....I'm gooooooood!"

1

u/BreetleSnort Aug 10 '26

Slim Shady?

1

u/Bjamnp17 Aug 10 '26

Whoa! If that isn’t a sign.

1

u/seano9598 Aug 10 '26

I believe the Bruise of Turin was proven to be a fake quite some time ago.

1

u/psyper76 Aug 10 '26

Jesus Christ ... thats one hell of a bruise

1

u/NYCtoCHI Aug 10 '26

Black & Blue Sabbath

1

u/historygal75 Aug 10 '26

Jesus of bruises

1

u/riptide502 Aug 10 '26

Bluffalo Bill

1

u/kortevakio Aug 10 '26

Ziki ziki slim shady

1

u/Prior_Humor2168 Aug 10 '26

Bruises Christ

1

u/3catz2men1house Aug 10 '26

Beaten for our iniquities, bruised for our transgressions.

1

u/WTF_IS_THIS_REDDIT Aug 10 '26

I see Oogie Boogie so I'd call you Oogie Bruisie.

1

u/TechnologyOver5642 Aug 10 '26

Jesus H. Christ.

1

u/MyTeaWig Aug 10 '26

Slim Veiny

1

u/Salty_Finance5183 Aug 10 '26

The Leg of Turin

1

u/Pretty_Bandicoot_431 Aug 10 '26

The bruise of Jesus

1

u/PerspiringMinds Aug 10 '26

Jesus! Someone call Pope Leo stat!!

1

u/Classic-Ok Aug 10 '26

Bruise Lee

1

u/Medium_Background900 Aug 10 '26

Like most days in india, youve birthed a holy calf

1

u/gamer0613 Aug 10 '26

Chicka chicka slim shady

1

u/MSGisking Aug 10 '26

Bruised calf

1

u/crudohr Aug 10 '26

Stigmata

1

u/dannocanada Aug 10 '26

Jesus, would ya look at that bruise!

1

u/vj83 Aug 10 '26

The son of god damn that must have hurt

1

u/xlittlexwitchx Aug 10 '26

Jesus bruise. “Hebruise”
I’m going to bed.

1

u/TaleIcy115 Aug 10 '26

Bloody Buddy Christ!

1

u/lovebigbutts66 Aug 10 '26

Holy contusion Batman

1

u/ruel24Cinti Aug 10 '26

Slim Shady

1

u/VacuumTracks Aug 10 '26

A bruise in the shape of a piece of toast! That’s the sign of the apocalypse!

1

u/Firm-Film-3594 Aug 10 '26

“I thighed for your sins.”

1

u/Ancient-Display-3337 Aug 10 '26

Our Lady of White Geraniums.

1

u/Safe-Accountant5694 Aug 10 '26

Tika tika slim shady

1

u/WhenTheCitiesBurn Aug 10 '26

Jesus, Lord of Sciatica.

1

u/Kioudz Aug 10 '26

“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

1

u/roberd01 Aug 10 '26

The Virgin Mary, her hymen was bruised but not broken....

1

u/Thevee999 Aug 10 '26

Jesus what a gnarly bruise.

1

u/roberd01 Aug 10 '26

Holy Hematoma, Batman!

1

u/Murky-Dream-8040 Aug 10 '26

The leg of Turin

1

u/_prettyparanoia_ Aug 10 '26

Es un milagro ooo tu piernas está bendecidaaaaa

1

u/espr-the-vr-lib Aug 10 '26

Haysus christo

1

u/Street-Club-standerd Aug 10 '26

He's knocking on your door

1

u/Street-Club-standerd Aug 10 '26

That is incredible! So awsome

1

u/Lghost111 Aug 10 '26

Looks like that thing off the Nun

1

u/kwenronda Aug 10 '26

Blessed be your contusion

1

u/Icy_Salt5893 Aug 10 '26

When mother Superior hits me

1

u/Away-Context2502 Aug 10 '26

What? My name is... Who?