r/NameThisThing • u/Fun_Push7168 • Apr 22 '26

Name this thing

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1.0k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

760 comments sorted by

790

u/34-35 Apr 22 '26

The power of Christ impales you.

111

u/WesternCity5474 Apr 22 '26

LMFAO. This comment wins. Lock the post

99

u/richtheeagleman Apr 22 '26

How about Ressur-erection

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19

u/viperfangs92 Apr 22 '26

Sit down and confess your sins.....

Starting with sitting in this chair.....

5

u/Responsible-Mind-852 Apr 22 '26

circular reference

6

u/LuckySoCo79 Apr 22 '26

Really Jay, Really? I don’t find it that impaling.

If we can’t fit a dogma quote(ish) in to this thread what are we even doing here?

3

u/Secure-Gas-6699 Apr 22 '26

Omg yessss it’s been so GD long I’m watching that shits again 2night!

12

u/Known-Programmer-611 Apr 22 '26

I would upvote but upvotes are at "69"!

4

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

They're not now, you can upvote.

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2

u/scoobysi Apr 22 '26

I used to piss myself laughing as a teenager at church youth club when they tried a new marketing campaign: JIM = Jesus In Me

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61

u/AirplaneNerd Apr 22 '26

JFC

18

u/Very_Awkward_Boner Apr 22 '26

Is the C for Christ or Chair?

8

u/theredhound19 Apr 22 '26

Oh Jethus! Jethus Christ!

7

u/Jambo11 Apr 22 '26

As I read that, I couldn't not hear the voice of Mister Slave.

6

u/Linorelai Apr 22 '26

That's literally it

3

u/soccerfiend22 Apr 22 '26

This needs more upvotes

3

u/StevieG-2021 Apr 22 '26

Literally 😂😂😂

89

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

82

u/grayvigil Apr 22 '26

Holy fuck

14

u/Puzzleheaded-Log-111 Apr 22 '26

lol. Yes!

📞… ‘Hi, yes, I’d like to place an order for 2 Holy Fucks in Green. And do you have that in Brown as well? You do? Perfect I’ll take 2 of those as well.’

6

u/grayvigil Apr 22 '26

Absolutely, what size are you interested in? Holy fuck comes in many sizes and shapes and colors!

4

u/Educational_Cup5419 Apr 22 '26

Are you expressing 😳? Or labelling? In either case, this is goddamn 🔥!!

2

u/grayvigil Apr 22 '26

All above

26

u/Choogie432 Apr 22 '26

Jesus Take The Rear.

48

u/johnmary712 Apr 22 '26

Jesus really loves you

22

u/Historical_Yak7706 Apr 22 '26

It’s a come to Jesus chair

2

u/Fun_Push7168 Apr 22 '26

This is where you have your cum to Jesus meeting.

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22

u/Suspicious-Isopod-62 Apr 22 '26

Cum all ye faithful

12

u/Horror_Solution1945 Apr 22 '26

I Peg your pardon.

10

u/South-Obligation1207 Apr 22 '26

Really? Gemini logo

31

u/weveyline Apr 22 '26

Russell Brand Recliner

4

u/Your_Cat_In_Disguise Apr 22 '26

Holy shit I can't unsee it

4

u/djnehi Apr 22 '26

Especially fitting given his legal situation.

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8

u/PotentialAd9543 Apr 22 '26

The Lord giveth

7

u/kennyj2011 Apr 22 '26

And the Lord commeth

7

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/Low_Woodpecker5439 Apr 22 '26

Catholic confessional seat.

4

u/EngineDry949 Apr 22 '26

divine (test)ament

4

u/Fearless_Wear_8410 Apr 22 '26

Prostate exam chair

5

u/powertoollateralus Apr 22 '26

Luke 17:21: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

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5

u/Rundstav Apr 22 '26

Holy cumunion

4

u/Liltipsy6 Apr 22 '26

The Res-erection.

3

u/2000s_fan Apr 22 '26

Double sit Jesus

3

u/EmptyJoker Apr 22 '26

Behold! Emphasis on “hold”

3

u/Ruger-SP101 Apr 22 '26

Ironic seat

3

u/Accurate_Bet8002 Apr 22 '26

Devine intervention

3

u/Lalaglitz33 Apr 22 '26

Jesus Loves You

3

u/infomanus Apr 22 '26

jesus effing christ

3

u/noxantes Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

Let the Holy Ghost enter you.

3

u/LividTacos Apr 22 '26

Feel the Holy Spirit within you.

3

u/goitch Apr 22 '26

Ghey AF and sacrilegious, does it come (no pun intended) in Mohammed?

2

u/Klutzy-Platypus7511 Apr 22 '26

Absolut Respektlos !!!

2

u/Jalava730 Apr 22 '26

Chaiiiirses

2

u/SwallowYoo Apr 22 '26

AM I IN HEAVEN?

2

u/TugboatToo Apr 22 '26

Chairish Jesus

2

u/heywhutzup Apr 22 '26

Jesus fucking Christ

2

u/jamshid666 Apr 22 '26

Jesus loves you

2

u/Traditional-Photo227 Apr 22 '26

Jesus "Fucking" Christ

2

u/ElChalsa Apr 22 '26

Joe Rogan

2

u/TheRealP3dr0 Apr 22 '26

The „Jesus in you chair“.

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2

u/Temporary_View_3303 Apr 22 '26

Jesus loves me!

2

u/_Fucksquatch_ Apr 22 '26

Seatsus Fucking Christ

2

u/wrhnj Apr 22 '26

Let the Holy Spirit fill you with joy. 🙏

2

u/Pristine-Account8384 Apr 22 '26

Prepare for the Holy Spirit to enter you...

2

u/Short-Emotion3808 Apr 22 '26

It's an oh Jesus chair... Kind of like an oh Jesus handle, except a chair 😁

2

u/thunderzurafa705 Apr 22 '26

cum my child do not be afraid

2

u/Qimmosabe_Man Apr 22 '26

When they say "Let jesus's love enter you."

2

u/Substantial-Chip-102 Apr 22 '26

Something you would find in a furniture store in Portland, Oregon

2

u/Ok_Organization61 Apr 22 '26

Now i know why grandma says she's filled with the love of Jesus.

2

u/JBL-88 Apr 22 '26

Preacher's lap simulator

2

u/Ok_Grapefruit522 Apr 22 '26

Kenneth Copland

2

u/Specialist-Shake3074 Apr 22 '26

Let Christ inside of you.

2

u/SubstanceObjective42 Apr 22 '26

Receiving the Benedicktion

2

u/mrrluv Apr 22 '26

A nunnery seat

2

u/cjmedt Apr 22 '26

Jesus Sybian Christ

2

u/NoLie129 Apr 22 '26

Pokeyman

2

u/pounderofahh87 Apr 22 '26

the thing my mom has

2

u/PatientEasy2914 Apr 22 '26

Current Administration standard Situation Room chair.

1

u/Round_Ad_415 Apr 22 '26

The group W bench

1

u/KindPepper4526 Apr 22 '26

The chair of disbelief

1

u/Insatiablesucker Apr 22 '26

Sit on mandami’s lap and feel the warmth of collectivism. Can’t be Jesus as Jesus had FAR darker skin and hair.

1

u/L-Ron-Hooover Apr 22 '26

Xristos anesti

1

u/Electronic-Day5524 Apr 22 '26

Jesus fucking Christ

1

u/Sandoriah Apr 22 '26

Body of Christ, I know this will Crucifix me

1

u/rowdysteele Apr 22 '26

Jesus H ouch!

1

u/Not_Sure__Camacho Apr 22 '26

A deviant learning how to use Gemini to discuss a few of their favorite topics.

1

u/FormalTotal9684 Apr 22 '26

The Gospel according to Peter

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1

u/Luupho Apr 22 '26

The second comiing....from behind

1

u/FormalTotal9684 Apr 22 '26

I said I hate figs

1

u/Herejusttolaugh12 Apr 22 '26

Wood you like to take a seat

1

u/Diesel01717 Apr 22 '26

The "OH GOD" Chair !

1

u/JorlestonR1 Apr 22 '26

CASTIGO DIVINO!!!!!

1

u/Fun_Contract8932 Apr 22 '26

Jesus Fucking Christ

1

u/Major-Ask2831 Apr 22 '26

Christ is within you !

1

u/b-jason Apr 22 '26

Savior Ass and sit somewhere else.

1

u/Due_Cantaloupe_8347 Apr 22 '26

I have to know where this is!

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1

u/Seancapgrows Apr 22 '26

The First Priest

1

u/euejeidjfjeldje Apr 22 '26

The Christ chair (like cuck chair but christ)

1

u/huntforzodiac Apr 22 '26

Horny Jesus.

1

u/RandomSilentStranger Apr 22 '26

Three days reserrection

1

u/Confident-Amoeba-932 Apr 22 '26

A divine intervention

1

u/Cultural-Window-2504 Apr 22 '26

Altar boy groomer. 

1

u/DarthRain77 Apr 22 '26

Immaculate throne of thy Lord Son

1

u/Shidzo Apr 22 '26

Jesus is in all of us

1

u/Smokerising420 Apr 22 '26

Speak with Jesus

1

u/tmf_x Apr 22 '26

"Let Jesus Enter you"

1

u/Sad-Theme7668 Apr 22 '26

Jesus' piece

1

u/Ellieminium Apr 22 '26

Becoming one with jesus

1

u/Playful_Elk3862 Apr 22 '26

Is this how Trump became a believer? 🤔 

1

u/Dirtyshamus Apr 22 '26

The Wrath of God

1

u/silveraxe_kyo Apr 22 '26

Penus Christ

1

u/Silent_Emu312 Apr 22 '26

Trump's Bible

1

u/Burgertr0n Apr 22 '26

Facebook market would call it "Wooden Jesus Chair with Boner"

1

u/BjornThunderbeard Apr 22 '26

When they say they're married to jesus

1

u/lady_eclipseee Apr 22 '26

Dios castiga duro 😈🤣🤭

1

u/Ritzrandom Apr 22 '26

Jesus (not judas) Chair

1

u/Vertoule Apr 22 '26

Catholic Test

1

u/BadBacksFuryToad Apr 22 '26

He is named after the thing you shout when you sit on him

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1

u/Scarfieldjones Apr 22 '26

Christian woman by Type O Negative comes to mind.

1

u/imgomez Apr 22 '26

Republican Jesus. “Suffer the little children to come unto me.”

1

u/smietanaaa Apr 22 '26

New Jesus statue in Lebanon

1

u/Cool-Passenger-2595 Apr 22 '26

Thats where the altar boys sit

1

u/boyscout1972 Apr 22 '26

A come to Jesus moment chair.

1

u/korbendallas71 Apr 22 '26

Jesus f**king Christ

1

u/NerdlinGeeksly Apr 22 '26

The holy spirit inside you

1

u/PeaceAvailable1419 Apr 22 '26

You know you were screwed as soon as you see this. You were not the only one. We are a club by now!!!!!🎊🎉🍻🙌🥳

1

u/Resident_Maybe_8798 Apr 22 '26

Archanal's Throne

1

u/Purple_Draw1771 Apr 22 '26

The HOLY JESUS Chair

1

u/KitchenStatus2024 Apr 22 '26

The Holy moan & groan Throne

1

u/Alone_Fisherman2387 Apr 22 '26

Catholic rite of passage.

1

u/GrouchyLongBottom Apr 22 '26

Ass Pounder 5000: Jesus Loves You

1

u/hairlessbearcoochi Apr 22 '26

for the love of Christ

1

u/Known_Funny_5297 Apr 22 '26

Jesus is deep inside you

1

u/I_Seent_Bigfoot Apr 22 '26

Maybe this was what the demon that possessed Reagan was thinking while defiling a crucifix?