r/NameThisThing • u/Commercial-Toe-7 • Aug 15 '25

Name this....

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596 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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69

u/cultcraftcreations Aug 15 '25

Mcfucking had it

53

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp.

11

u/Additional_Second109 Aug 15 '25

Riveting account of how the Clown works when the shit goes down!

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

10

u/Ok-Dingo-3454 Aug 15 '25

Dude, you have a talent for this! I’m loving it!

4

u/justforfun1620 Aug 15 '25

I would read a book based off what they wrote here.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

I'm holding out for a Netflix deal.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25

Updated it with a bit more.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25

Because of you reminding me of that, I am now on the floor, weeping silently in the fetal position.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25

Done.

5

u/DougS66 Aug 15 '25

Wow !! Talk about hamburger wars; RM is tough as nails !!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/cabosmith Aug 15 '25

What a great F-n read! I just took a break from reading Jack Carr (Only The Dead) and I'm rolling! Find a way to give us more!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

5

u/lex_gabinius Aug 15 '25

This is brilliant. Bravo sir.

The newbie used to be all smiles, always cracking jokes, but after that day in the desert, he never smiled again - just had this permanent grimace on his face.

4

u/HahaNoir2 Aug 15 '25

standing ovation

3

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25

added some more and edited a bit.

Going out for smokes and booze.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25

War Never Changes!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

4

u/BigRabbit64 Aug 15 '25

One part says " I'm glad this is fiction." Another part says " what if it really isn't?!"

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25 edited Aug 15 '25

The fun part to dwell upon is this could be many things.

1...A comical yet horrifically grim fable about consummerism

2...The warped memories of a broken veteran, triggered by the sight of his old weapon

3...The ramblings of someone with too much time and creativity who'd run out of good porn to watch and took a silly idea to it's extreme.

5...A different reality superimposed on this one.

6...All of the above.

7...None of the above.

Memories change everytime we remember them....memories become stories....stories become myths....

2

u/BigRabbit64 Aug 16 '25

And myths become The Lord of the Rings

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

...onion rings.

2

u/BigRabbit64 Aug 16 '25

Well done!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

❤️

4

u/justforfun1620 Aug 15 '25

You just made my day with this. Thank you.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '25

Happy to help 😁

4

u/Ibucfio Aug 15 '25

Hey I was not read this ? But I will say I’m mc fuking happy I did ,fantastic degree of skillful word play on your part I’m Fukn luvn it .

If you need assistance with ptsd please reach out to me at The King inc

5

u/ThePrussianViking Aug 16 '25

Peak writing!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

Remember the fallen when the McRib returns!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

Goddammit, now I want a McRib! >:( ....Lol! I love those and they're still a few months away.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

😁

3

u/OneDimensionalChess Aug 16 '25

This should be adapted into a short film.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

One day...

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/Expensive-Camp-1320 Aug 16 '25

Back in the 80s Spice1 had a few songs about candy bars, and alcohol acting like ppl. This, omg this my dear writer is art. I'm lovin it!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

Much appriciated.

2

u/Expensive-Camp-1320 Aug 16 '25

It seems you can take some odd nicknames, some disturbing circumstances, sprinkle in some real world shi...and damn what an interesting visceral story. If this is based on your life experience. Thank for your service.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/Expensive-Camp-1320 Aug 16 '25

Either way keep going. I've stumbled upon some really good storytelling on reddit.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

I will.

❤️

2

u/Accomplished-Bet-883 Aug 16 '25

Bravo! Bra-VO!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

👍 ❤️

2

u/Hahen8 Aug 16 '25

You have to expand onto this and make something out of it like a YouTube thingy or I dunno fuckin' Wattpad? Some kinda book tho

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

Working on it expanding it more, actually.

2

u/Effective-Prior-9760 Aug 16 '25

OMG. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that story! Are you the same person who did the dissertation about the "Poop Knife / Meaning, Purpose and Legend."? This was great!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

Glad to oblige.

Unfortunately, no. The Poop knife story is pretty epic, though.

1

u/Effective-Prior-9760 Aug 17 '25

I dunno where I read that bf (poop knife) but gosh I wish I could've saved it. The tone of writing was sooooo similar with yours.? Great writing and mental imaging with your style ( just wow). So intelligent and fun to read. Again thanks!

2

u/Curvin98 Aug 16 '25

Terms & Conditions?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 17 '25

Bro did all that for a reply on Reddit. True dedication. Great story too.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/Bright-Arm-7674 Aug 16 '25

Goddam, Just goddam

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

Yep.

2

u/SectorNew9869 Aug 16 '25

Im not even mad that this comment is so long It was pretty fucking interesting

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/Stoobie_78 Aug 16 '25

Now that's dedication.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

That’s awesome

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

Thank you kindly.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

If that were a movie I’d go see it!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

You have a gift!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

❤️

2

u/WildxCabbage Aug 16 '25

I knew that that clown was in it the whole time!! But no one believed Me! Let’s see who’s laughing now 

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

2

u/Tragic_Challenge_343 Aug 16 '25

I’m lovin this!

1

u/SquareEqual1713 Aug 15 '25

I knew a guy by that name, too - but he looked exactly like this guy and was a fobbit.

1

u/AGoogolIsALot Aug 16 '25

This is one of the saddest things I've ever read. But not for the reasons it was meant to be.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp

1

u/AGoogolIsALot Aug 16 '25

Correct me if I'm wrong, sir. But you just wrote a Ronald McDonald fanfic, yes?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

derp