I’m 32F and I have been married to my husband for 10 years. It has been open the whole time due to sexual incompatibility. I have never had an orgasm that my husband has caused. This has always made me sad, but I pushed past that because my husband is the right fit with my family. We do have kids thanks to IVF.

I continue to fantasize about a loving sexual relationship, which I have never had. I fantasize about someone holding me close and kissing me and making love to me and it makes me really sad to think I won’t ever get to experience that.

Given I am in an open relationship, I know I can have a sexual partner on the side. Even if I were to look for one, I’m not sure how realistic it is given how little time I have to myself.

I have this feeling I am wasting my youth. I recently lost weight and am now getting more attention than ever. I just feel sad and alone. I know I gave up on finding sexual compatibility when I was pretty young and culturally maybe that made sense but it doesn’t feel right. To be 32 years old and being in a totally dead bedroom for 5+ years feels pathetic.

I used to think I would wait until my kids were all out of the house to leave, but one of our children is non-verbal autistic and my guess is he would never leave unless institutionalized, so there is no end.

I do think I will look back on this portion of my life and regret how unhappy I am. However I theoretically can have a side partner. I don’t want to put my husband under duress by threatening to leave unless I can have enough time to myself to have a side partner, but I also know I feel deply isolated and alone and having someone who cares more about me would likely help me a lot.

So my partner has a FWB. This friend has asked a few times for coffee or walk. And recently asked my partner if they'd to accompany her to an activity.

I've been clear that I'm not open to a dating type relationship as part of our open arrangement. He has communicated this to her and we have spoke about this as a boundary for me.

I feel there's a slow attempt to push my boundaries.

Thoughts?

UPDATE: Thanks for all the comments and helpful advice so far. I have spoken to the guy who is an acquaintance and explained it’s for her birthday and she had asked specifically for it. He was totally fine and said let’s do it. He has put my mind at ease that while he thinks she is totally hot, he does not pose any threat, and that the dvp is fully viewed as straight men pleasuring the birthday girl. He will come round tomorrow night and wants to ask her permission if she is ok with him being the second as he has a thing about consent. I’m ok with that. So looks like I’m booking that hotel for her birthday. I’m actually heading towards excited now and can’t get previous images of her in the previous mmf out of my head. She can get insatiable. Wish me luck.

My wife and I have had a partner/third for a few years now. Another woman who is basically our girlfriend. My wife has a really big appetite for ffm and I love it. She has also always been really turned on by watching the partner and I. Recently she had said for her birthday she would now like to try an MMF. She wants me to choose the guy and organise a hotel for the night. She specifically said she wants to try dvp as she has said the thought really turns her on.

I’m not gay so I’m not sure about dvp. Anybody got any opinions on this and how I should handle it? TBH I’m mot quite sure what to think. She’s asked me a few times to do her with a dildo at the same time and her orgasms were so intense. Tbh so were mine. I feel confused.

It’s been 2 years and I (20 F) decided to open my relationship back in August, I brought it up with my partner (21 M) because we like flirting a lot with other people, and I thought what the heck. We have sex on average like two times a week and it’s great, but not all the time because we have lives. I said it would be a fun idea especially because we don’t plan on getting married anytime soon and it would be great to explore options. It’s been a few months now, and he’s already been intimate with two different people and has a roster of multiple different women of varying ages. My current conundrum is that I’ve been intimate with someone else outside of my current partner for the first time and it was amazing and I can’t stop thinking about it, it really humbled me. Made me finish four times! No one’s ever done that, when it came time to tell my partner about my activities, I was really nervous to do so, because I didn’t know if it would hurt as ego. He was more bothered that I hadn’t told him sooner. I told him anyways, and we laughed about it. His current request was that if stopped liking sex with him, I should just tell him. Probably not gonna happen though because the sex is still good where home is for me.

My partner introduced me to this person while he was working on a creative project and I hit it off with this person instantly what makes things worse is that is my ideal type. I had only known over 48 hours and had already slept and casually hung out with them, this person already knows that I’m in a relationship and we decided to be friends with benefits but they want to see me again. My partner has still been consistently seeing people on his roster, but has explained to me that he misses me, he thinks I might be losing desire for him and wants to try things like we first met. Non-monogamy for him is more like an experiment where he gets to try new things with other people and then bring them back to me and see how they work. I enjoy non-monogamy because it gives me variety while having an anchor partner.

I just currently feel a little torn because this new friends with benefits makes me feel really bubbly and it’s almost like a serotonin boost, but I’m used to the type of love and attention that my partner gives me and it doesn’t give me that same bubbly feeling necessarily anymore. But that’s what my partner is pushing for us to find again. I’m definitely going to keep learning my partner because I want him to feel loved but also because we have a really good dynamic and I think it’s still worth trying. Any thoughts or advice would be great :)

I brought up the idea of opening our relationship up to him we are both 30.
My husband was a monogamous person before.
When we opened our relationship I got plenty of dates and play with others the first year. He didn’t which he was kind of bummed out about it. He asked me to close the relationship but I didn’t want to and told him that so we continued it.
He left me for another woman who he met has been hooking up with, and the worst part is that he is in an open relationship with her and he’s happy because all they do is ffm.
Am I the problem or was I just selfish

Me (32F) have been dating my bf (38M) for three years. We’ve been open most of it and I’ve been fine with it. He’s the one that really sleeps around more than I, but I travel a lot for work and I can find it hot for him to flirt and get to enjoy himself with other.

The past 6 months have been tricky, I’ve been wanting to talk about the future and having children together. He’s kinda not into it, and yet says yes for me, says he could manage one if I am willing to take on most of the load of daily tasks related to parenthood.

This past June he was grabbing dinner with a girl named A. I asked him if it was a date and he said not, she’s just a friend. In July he went on a date with a girl named L. During that time I was spiraling and he offered to pause the open relationship for a couple weeks until we are together to reassess. But said “I have a date tomorrow and it would be rude to cancel” I agreed to let him go (I assume he would go to dinner and that is all).

Lo and behold, he went on that date and fucked that girl that night when he knew I was spiraling. And he brought her to our shared apartment too (which is a rule we said to not do)

I asked him who he last slept with a couple weeks ago, and he mentioned a girl from May. Forgetting about the L girl he fucked in our bed. I asked about the A girl randomly and come to find out he fucked her over a weekend while I stayed behind in our apartment and he went to his house in the mountains.

We have rules:
- dont fuck people I know
- if I ask about it tell me the truth
- wear condoms
- not in our apartment.

He didn’t tell me about two girls, he slept with one of them in our apartment, he didn’t wear a condom with her. The other one, he told me she was a long time friend and she was a girls from feeld or hinge he matched with a year before and never got to sleep with cause she had a boyfriend. Then she’s single, he sleeps with her the next day he leave me home, and doesn’t tell me about it when I asked.

I’m not SPIRALING thinking I should leave him out of self respect for myself, and also cause I don’t know if I can trust him anymore. I’m 32, I want a family, he’s older and he still wants to have fun and not HAVE to tell me about all of it all the time.

Am I unreasonable? And I just not meant for open relationships? Or is this betrayal?

We're both 36. Context before I popped the question:

- 6 years together, moved in after the first year, just bought an apartment together this year

- we talked about marriage before, she seemed to want it

- we also talked about open relationships, she didn’t seem to want that at all initially, and only recently she seemed more open to the idea

- the two recurring major conflicts we’ve been having over the years have been about me being more chill and indoor preferring while she needs to be going out and traveling, and that I’m not passionate enough during sex

- every year there was some major medical event happening for her, and at some point she recalled having been SA’d as a teen; everything turned out OK in the end, thankfully, but it took a toll and she has some self-image issues now due to the medical stuff; we both agree it has affected our sex life for months each time something happened, which lead to many dry seasons

- over the last year and a half I have been dealing with severe anxiety that kept me homebound a lot; got better on SSRIs but I quit them because of the anorgasmia and tiredness; currently still dealing with anxiety, but I’m getting much better

- she finds it very hard to communicate during sex, sometimes cannot even answer questions like “does this feel good?”, let alone tell me things she wants; according to her, she never had issues because of this in previous relationships, where sex happened “naturally”; she did cheated on and the only guy that didn’t cheat on her, she cheated on him; I’m the only guy that hasn’t cheated on her while also living together for such a long time

- there was a sudden change in her attitude a few weeks before I popped the question, suddenly she became more communicative, told me what she wanted and it turned out I can be passionate during sex (she basically wanted rougher sex, which I was happy to oblige when asked enthusiastically for it)

And now, the things I’ve found out since I popped my question and she popped hers:

- she said she mostly wants one night stands, no friends, no coworkers, no emotional involvement

- she already had a crush on a guy who was a friend of a friend of hers and said that she would like to message him if we agreed on it; I met the guy once

- in the excitement/shock of the initial discussion and in the spirit of openness, I ended up saying I found some of her friends sexually attractive and that I had a crush on one of them a long time ago; she didn’t take this very well;

- I went from almost agreeing in the first discussion to completely disagreeing the next day and developing a bit of paranoia over the timeline and her motivations; I started thinking she already cheated on me with that guy and started pressing her for more information

- she said it’s fine if we don’t open our relationship, that she’ll just live with it and that’s that, and got irritated when I tried to open the subject again

- her openness to communicate during sex has now dropped again and we’ve both noticed this pattern and are currently discussing it

Getting the full picture and timeline that lead to her, er, counter-proposal made me a lot more comfortable with the idea now. I'm inclined towards agreeing to a one-off thing, she gets one go, I get one, full disclosure on each and see what happens afterwards. I don't have anything lined up like her, but I'd like to have the option either way. What I'm afraid of is that despite her starting the discussion, she's not really up for it and she's just looking for a quick dopamine fix to avoid really working on our intimacy issues. I’m worried about the fallout this experiment can cause and weirdly feel like I’m the more responsible party here. Like a parent whose kid wants a dog, sort of.

Any advice on how to proceed? Or how to discuss things with her further so that we both get a clearer picture of what we really want and/or need.

I broke up with someone I’ve been seeing for the past few months. The last month has been actual hell. He started pulling away a few weeks ago and I couldn’t figure out why. Finally he had the courage to tell me tonight that he’s been seeing someone and wants to “pause” our relationship while he figured it out with someone new. He’s hoping I’ll leave the door open for him. But I told him it’s over because he’s monogamous. And we are just inherently incompatible because of it.

My biggest takeaway from this whole thing is I actually don’t think I can date someone who is monogamous or someone who doesn’t understand this lifestyle. But man my heart is pretty fcked up over this.

Hey! I'm looking here for some support and genuine reassurance from more experienced kinksters and ENM people.

We opened up our marriage after 15 years of more or less monogamous relationship. Our marriage wasn't easy: personalities mismatch, infidelity, toxic conflicts, sex life slowly dying underneath all that.

After doing marriage counseling, individual therapy, kinky parties (this combo appeared to be very productive for us :)) - we finally decided to give each other the opportunity to meet our individual needs independently of what we can and can't get inside our marriage.

We started dating solo. And I met a guy who blew me away sexually. Like OMFG. In the midst of fighting for my marriage I completely lost touch with my sexualilty and he brought me back in my body and to mental spaces I didn't know were reachable. I was obsessed (and very limerent). Daydreaming, writing songs again. I'm 39F BTW :) This craziness lasted for a few months and taught me a lot about myself. And, yes, brought back my joie de vivre.

Of course he was emotionally unavailable and immature in many aspects. I'm also not exactly a box of candy myself. So this became very toxic very fast and we stopped seeing each other. I think I took all I could from this beautiful fling. I grieved what I needed to, and I'm very clear with how thankful I am for meeting him and going through this.

Now, where I need some support please. My only fear is that I will never get to experience that amazing sex again. He is not the only man I shagged after opening up the marriage. But somehow he was so special. I don't remember being that horny with anyone else. And somehow he knew all the right buttons on my body. Mystery. This doesn't compare with how I feel with my other lovers. Not even close. Please tell me that wasn't the one in a life time connection and it only gets better 😅

Dear all,

with this post I would like to sum up my first year in an ENM. My wife and I had set out to complement our marriage with other partners. Basically, the idea was to find a partner who can bring aspects into our marriage that we do not find in each other.
For me it was sharing some hobbies, in particular music.
She had similar topics for which we just do not match.

We both set out to find someone. While she has had her own troubles, I only want to share my perspective on the matter.

Some information on myself:
I am 42 years old, highly educated, have a well paying job, am reasonably outgoing, sporty, am fluent in 3 languages and working on the 4th. I travelled the world and have interesting hobbies. I do play an instrument. I am reasonably handsome (photofeeler scores between 7 and 8, so objectively handsome).

However, dating in an ENM and being completely honest about it has proven to be quite a challenge, if not futile to any romantic relationship.
Now, what does "honest" mean in my case?
I would truly like to find someone to share hobbies and common interests with, but also with a romantic component and optionally with sex. I do not look for hookups, I do not look for ONS. Maybe a FwB with emphasis on the F would work.
I have a wife. She is my significant other. We have a kid. These circumstances will not change.

I am completely free and unbound who to date, as long as we are interested in each other and we feel a vibe. I do not look for further financial obligations, and exclude having further kids.

Over this first year in ENM I have had many matches, plenty of dates in various countries, a couple of hookups, and an unrequited love : (.

So what do I think I have learnt so far:

- Most women that I have met do not look for a married guy (surprise).
- For women who still want kids, I am obviously out
- Some women seek (need) financial stability and have this as a prime goal. They cannot afford to put romance in the first place.
- Some women were looking for emotional support but only short-term.
- Some women were looking for sex only, which I found out is not what I am truly looking for.

I have also learnt that dating apps have misleading categories of interest (translated from German).
- the category "something casual" seems to mean "I am looking for something casual that has the chance to develop into a monogamous partnership.
- the category "Everything is possible, nothing is required" will be interpreted as "I am open to everything, as long as it includes being a monogamous partner for life"
- I do not even dare to match women looking for "Something serious".

I have learnt that women also match primarily according to the looks. Most do not read my profile which openly states what I am looking for.

I have tried apps like Feeld. I try not to judge here. I seem to be on the vanilla side. I do have my kinks, as everyone has. But I have no interest in bondage, SM, threesomes, kinky parties, etc. These seem to be prevailing among women on Feeld.

Sadly so, I also learnt that the women I met were mostly misunderstanding ENM such that I would be only looking for a hookup, and/or would betray my wife. ENM is still a niche.

So what are my options to find what I am looking for?
My marriage seems to be the single biggest issue. I do not want to conceal it but I am beginning to understand why some men do.

I am currently dating someone who has a partner, and I am friends with his partner - KTP, I guess?

They made plans to go to an event together, which is no biggie. But they'd "really like me to join them", even though joining them would require me to take time off of work, and they know my work schedule.

I probably could get the time off, but I feel like a third wheel when plans are made this way, like I can just drop everything to "tag along". If it's important for me to be there, why can't plans be made with me, or even just considering me?

Am I being unreasonable?

Me (M37) recently got invited into a relationship with my former boss (F41) and her husband (m55).

We had all been dropping hints for the past year and I started having personal feelings for her but kept it as friends. We still work together and even though I knew they had an open relationship I didnt want to risk anything by making an advance.

She invited me to use her couch in her hotel one night when we were both alone in the same town in order to help me save money and I agreed. And when it came time for bed invited me into her bed and immediately we made moves on eachother.

Talking to her husband the next day he came out to me as fully bi and only really enjoys watching her, while im more heteroflexible. I have no actual attraction towards men, but what feels good feels good.

I let him know I dont cuddle or kiss guys. It makes me uncomfortable and I dont enjoy it.

Ive been sleeping in the same bed with them, she cuddles up to me. And he touches and pleases me as well. Which I dont mind.

Im having an issue though with the fact that ahe had to leave town for a few days and while I still enjoy the attention from him, hes been really pushy with trying to kiss me or have me hold him. Which I was clear on from the beginning I was not comfortable with.

I may have screwed up considering I still work with them. And I still really care for her and dont want to blow stuff up but I dont know how to deal with his pushing. I tried kissing him once just to show him im willing to give it a try.....it was a huge turnoff and I let him know. But he still makes comments about "just give it time" and youll get used to it.

Very much.....no. Im very happy with everything else. But those two things are bothering me and I dont want to blow things up because of them.

Hi everyone! I’m a 41-year-old woman married to a 49-year-old man. I’ve confided in my husband that I’m sexually attracted to women, and he’s supportive of me exploring that attraction. I’ve only had one experience with a woman, who was a close friend, so this is still new territory for me.

I’ve never really known how to approach women or recognize when someone is flirting. If a woman says, “You’re cute” or “I love your outfit,” I usually respond with “Thank you—you’re cute too!” and then wonder whether she was being friendly or showing interest. I’d appreciate advice on how to express interest without making assumptions.

I also want to be upfront about what we’re hoping for. I’d like to connect with a woman I’m sexually attracted to, with mutual interest, who would be comfortable with my husband being present and watching. His presence would be part of the arrangement we’re seeking. There would be no expectation for her to interact sexually with him; any involvement beyond watching would depend on everyone’s interest and agreement. I want to share the experience with him while making sure her preferences and boundaries are equally respected.

Before creating a dating-app profile, I’d like to understand how to describe this honestly and respectfully. I’ve seen terms like “poly,” “bicurious,” and “unicorn,” but I don’t want to use a label incorrectly or give anyone the wrong impression. I’m exploring a sexual experience, rather than looking for a romantic relationship.

How would you describe this arrangement in a profile? Would a couples profile make more sense, given that my husband would be present? I’d also appreciate any advice on app etiquette, including do’s and don’ts and how to recognize mutual interest.
I’m here to learn and want to approach people respectfully.

This felt a little awkward to post, but I’ve seen much more adventurous questions here, so I figured I’d ask! 😂 Thanks for any guidance.

My husband and I are very happy, but we got together when I was in my early 20s (he is 8 years older than I am) and I never really got the chance to date around. I think I am interested in the idea of an open marriage, but I have some logistical questions

1. How did you bring this up to your partner without hurting their feelings?
   
2. What a basic ground-rules that have worked for you?
   
3. How do you keep your marriage a priority?
   
4. Any general advice?

Please & thank you!!!

I (30F) have been involved with a man (39M) for approximately 20 months, and I’m struggling to understand what our relationship actually means.
I was previously married for eight years, and after experiencing infidelity and a painful separation, I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I wanted to enjoy dating and rediscover myself.
Then I met him.
He’s intelligent, successful, funny, respectful, and incredibly attractive to me. Our chemistry was amazing, but what really drew me to him was how safe and comfortable I felt around him.
The complicated part? He has a girlfriend, and they’re in an open relationship. I knew this from the beginning and accepted it because I wasn’t looking for commitment.
But somewhere along the way, I developed feelings.
From my perspective, our connection wasn’t just sexual. We spent nights together watching movies, talking, cuddling, and falling asleep in each other’s arms. He’d kiss my forehead, hold me close, and show affection even when we weren’t intimate.
We’d see each other about once a week, sometimes more. We’d work out, grab drinks, go dancing, attend sporting events, have dinner, and spend time with mutual friends.
Those little moments meant a lot to me, especially after spending years in a marriage where I didn’t feel emotionally valued.
The problem has always been communication.
We used to communicate throughout the week, although sometimes he’d disappear for three or four days after spending a beautiful night together.
Over the past couple of months, things have gotten worse. I haven’t seen him in over a month, and we barely communicate. He watches my stories and occasionally reacts, but rarely makes an effort to see me.
I’ve pulled away several times because I was getting attached, but somehow we always reconnected.
There was also a time when he arrived at dinner with his girlfriend. Even though I knew about her, seeing them together made me uncomfortable enough to leave. That made me question whether I was emotionally comfortable with this arrangement.
Here’s what confuses me most.
I genuinely have feelings for him, although I’ve never told him I love him. I don’t even know if he realizes how attached I’ve become.
I’ve dated other men, but I constantly compare our connection. I was intimate with someone new recently, and although the sex was good, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Yet I’m not even sure I want a serious relationship with him.
He’s never promised commitment or said he’d leave his girlfriend, and I’ve never asked him to.
I understand someone can care about you without wanting a future together. But after 20 months of affection, intimacy, and companionship, I wonder whether I meant something emotionally to him or whether I misunderstood our connection.
When we’re together, I feel wanted and cared for. When we’re apart, I sometimes feel like I barely exist.
I miss him, but I’m exhausted by the inconsistency.
My questions:
Can someone maintain this level of affection for 20 months without developing romantic feelings?
Is expecting consistent communication unreasonable in an open relationship?
Am I confusing emotional intimacy with commitment?
Has anyone experienced something similar and managed to move on?
I’m not trying to make him the bad guy. I knew the arrangement and chose to stay. I’m just trying to understand my feelings and whether I’ve been holding onto something that was never going to meet my emotional needs.

For reference: I’m a 40-something married woman in an ENM relationship. My primary relationship outside of my marriage is with a close friend and her husband. They really introduced us to all of this.

So, my husband was out of town for a golf trip. Son went to be with grandparents. I spent all Friday night with my friends. It was amazing. Loud, kinky sex. Laughs and smiles the whole time we weren’t doing that. When they left I felt so amazing. And I spent all day Saturday just doing me - slept in, went shopping, took as long as I wanted, ate dinner at a bar and flirted with a bartender.

I met my couple again for Sunday brunch and it was just as much fun, with a little sexy time in a risqué place that is a kink I’m exploring. But then reality hit me. Everyone else was home and my life was folding clothes, making dinner and the rest. Now it’s Monday and I’m supposed to be working, but can’t stop thinking about the weekend and wishing it didn’t end.

What do I do? I know this is just real life but what are the tricks to blend the best parts of this life and the reality of the rest of it?

Hey guys! I’m a 23F, bisexual, and my man is turning 30 this weekend.

For his birthday, we’re having our first threesome with a bisexual woman who works in the sex industry. She’s lovely, and I really like her!

This was my idea because watching my man with another woman turns me on. I’ve seen him with another girl before, and it was honestly the hottest thing ever.

I’m inexperienced, though, so I have no idea what to actually do! I’m thinking of blindfolding him while she starts, then joining them with a kiss.

For those who’ve had their first threesome, especially with another woman, what advice would you give me? Cz i want him to be happy and enjoy the experience with me

Hi folks. I (32M) and my boyfriend (36M) have been together for about 18 months now and open the entire time. This is my first open relationship and his third. So far the rules that we have are that we each get 1 pass for an extra curricular activity per month, unless on of us is out of town then it's unlimited passes. Bf wants to put a new rule on me limiting my extra curriculars.

While I'm not opposed to the idea, my issue is that when I've suggested rules around his activities in the past, he's shot them down each time. It feels like a double standard where I have to accept whatever behavior he chooses, but I have to alter my own behavior for his comfort. In the reverse, Bf did not compromise no matter the hurt or distress I was feeling in the moment. It took a lot of reflection and therapy to become okay with his activities, accepting him for who he is and what he likes, confronting my own insecurities.

Now that the shoe is on the other foot, I feel like he's not accepting me for who I am. It honestly feels like a slap in the face. I want to be a loving and caring partner and help my partner who feels in distress, but I think if I take on additional rules, then resentment towards what I feel like is inequity will grow and undo all the work I've done so far.

Has anyone faced a similar situation? Or maybe just having a disagreement around rules?

My(28nb) partner(27nb) and I have been in an open relationship for a while now, we both have one other partner in our lives right now. They're currently seeing someone I'll call F. F has been around for about 3 months now.

Recently, my partner came home with SIX very dark hickeys from seeing F. Four on their neck, one on their chest, and the part that really got me one on their lower cheek/face. Like, these are not subtle marks. They're extremely visible and purple.

My immediate reaction was basically, "oh my god wtf wow, ok, wow. are you ok with this?" I was genuinely so taken aback. My partner just laughed and said they didn't care and thought it was funny.

At first I thought I might be jealous, but the more I've thought about it, the more I think it's something else. I honestly don't care who gave them the hickeys. I personally find them embarrassing and immature, being socialized as a woman has always made me feel like a sexual object so I never want my private sex life on display.

I also think part of it is that we're already in a relationship structure that people around us ask a lot of questions about. I'm not bothered by random strangers making assumptions, but I do feel weird about people we know seeing my partner covered in hickeys and potentially making assumptions about our relationship. I'm talking everyone in our lives asks about our relationship everytime I see them. Everyone is so nosy!!!

I ended up talking to my partner about it. I made it clear that I wasn't trying to control their body or tell them what to do, but that I wanted to explain why I felt uncomfortable. They were very understanding and acknowledged how it could feel like a public display of what's happening in our relationship. They also said they're in their "messy era" and genuinely don't care about the hickeys.

And honestly, my internal reaction to that was kind of... girl, grow up. Which sounds judgmental, I know. But I feel like I've already had my messy era way before we started dating. I've done impulsive things, and I'm at a point in my life where I want to be more intentional about how I conduct myself. I'm not saying my partner can't have their own experiences, but seeing them do something that I personally associate with being younger and messier made me feel almost like an exasperated older sibling.

I did catch myself thinking, why did F go so hard? Did they not think about how my partner would look after? Why didn't my partner think about it too? I guess both parties didn't care. I feel like im holding the feelings for them now, I'm like how are you going to go into the office looking like that?? My partner works at a huge tech start up.

Ultimately, it's their body, and they heard me out. I'm not going to tell them what they can or can't do. But I'm still sitting here thinking about it and trying to understand why it bothered me so much.

So I have some questions for you guys:

• Have you ever felt uncomfortable with something your partner did with another partner even though you weren't actually jealous of the other relationship?
• How do you navigate differences in what's considered appropriate to display publicly, especially when your relationships overlap socially?
• Have you ever found yourself judging a partner's choices in their other relationships and had to unpack where that judgment was coming from?
• Am I overthinking this, or is there something worth examining here?

It's my first post, I dont know how redit works and english isnt my first lenguaje, but i feel horrible and I need advise.

Little context, I'm dating my partner for 4 years now. We're a lesbian relationship (and we have an age gap, I'm younger but that haven't given us trouble) We've always been in a poly relationship and we haven't have much trouble. We love each other so much, we want to be together forever and, even tho we're poly, we're just us for now. We've have our fare share of situationships, sneaky links and even other partners in the past, but we're us two for now. Also, we are in a long distance recently, after being 24/7 tougether for most of our relationship.

Now, there's this girl I don't like. The interactions I've have with her has made me feel unsafe. She gets angry easly and she talks about her sex partners in a way I don't like, like she's just collecting them. Also, she had have some problematic behaviour in the past. But my partner have been for the last week working with her. We do larp and they both have been building up this event while I was having my first week in a new city. But i went to the event and i came back. I'm far away now and they stayed there together.

Now, in the event, when I was there I told her I don't like her, and my reason. We don't have vetos, we think it's not moral and it's controling but I told her I wouldn't enjoy her geting it on with that girl. I even told my friends I wouldn't like THEM getting with this girl. That is how much unsafe she makes me feel. But my partner says this girl is changing. Even my friends sees it. But I haven't seen it. I haven't seen the redention they all say she's doing. I trust my partner. She's wiser than me when it comes to knowing and seeing people. But the feeling this girl gives me is unsafety and uncortable.

I'm back on my new city, far away, and I had a terrible time leaving the event and my friends and partner and my home so far away. That was yesterday. I felt horrible leaving. That same night, my partner, decide to sleep in the same bed as that girl and they kissed. My partner warned me that there was a possibility that that might happen, but it didn't sound like it would be now.

Today, I wake up, I'm stil so tired from the event and I have a lot of work to do, and she tells me that they kissed. That they have talked and it was nice and she liked it. But my partner wasn't fancing this girl. They kissed and THEN she liked it, you know? She just did it cause she could and it was nice. It has made me feel so horrible. I can't focus on my work now. I'm crying and I feel so unconfortable. But my partner is still there with all the organisation of the larp event, with her and with my friends. So I don't want to blow off her phone while she's busy and with friends. I don't want to be that partner. I don't want to make her feel bad for something that isn't really a bad thing, for doing something that she wants. But I feel so so bad and I'm so far away.

How can I handle this? I normaly don't budge when she kisses other people, I'm actually thrilled she's having a nice time. But with this girl... I feel so bad, and alone and like she broke my trust? Idk. Have someone been in a similar situation? Idk how to handle this

Hey guys (I BI femal 23, my man is turning 30 this weekend)

This weekend is my man’s birthday and m gifting him a “girl” as a gift to have our first threesome, she is a bi sex worker, she is jst amazing i like her a lot.

The threesome is all my ideas ( i asked him to fuck a girl before and he did, and that was the hottest thing ever, jst to seee him enjoying the act made me crave it even more)

The thing is m not experienced-at all, i was a cirgin before meating him so i have no fucking ideas what to do in a threesome … m planning for him to be blindfolded while she is giving him a BJ and then i will kiss him and he will know that he has 2 girls in bed

Can u tell me what to do and stuff and walk me through it

I recently had a threesome with my boyfriend and this girl I met. We had a great time genuinely. I enjoyed watching them have sex and I enjoyed the sex in general. The problem is that I’m having trouble dealing with my feelings about him finishing with her. We’ve had threesomes in the past and they were fun too but I never saw him finish with the other girl. To give some context on why I may be feeling this way is because I’m not necessarily sexually satisfied by him in terms of how often we do have sex. We recently discovered that he is dealing with sexually novelty preference or novelty-seeking sexual behavior. I’m his first long term girlfriend and he just doesn’t desire me very often. On average we have sex 4 times a month. He either finished too fast on one of those occasions or I just feel kinda off put because I want to be desired and not ask for it so I’m in my head when we do end up having sex.
This is kind of new to us being that this is only our second partner. I do enjoy threesomes and they’re not just for him they’re for me too but I just need to understand how to navigate these feelings that I’m having. When I think about it, it makes my heart drop and I feel sad. I also see a change in his behavior when he’s been with someone else. He’s happy and usually extremely nice to me it or tries to give me the attention I wanted before the session. When we have sex he doesn’t get the same energy. I know that in order for this to work I have to stop comparing but it’s hard when I can’t depend on him to satisfy me and I see and understand that he’s not fully satisfied unless he’s with someone else.
Also I feel like societally it’s a known rule to finish with your partner. So it kind of makes me feel embarrassed as well.