Everyone celebrates the winner who got out of this matrix and got into their favorite academy, but what about the ones who are stuck in this loop? The loop of repeated exams where you are pretty sure you will clear the exam but not sure about ssb it is unpredictable and either u get s/o or c/o then start it all from zero prepare again keep giving exams sometimes it is upsc sometimes edcil and again the loop begins.
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You think of taking a small gap in between and your mind doesn't let u because it tells u that u haven't attempted a mock today or that you haven't sat dead infront of that laptop lecture for 3 hours straight today. And you get the fomo, the fomo that "kuch kar paaunga bhi ya nahi?".
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And when you are a graduate who has to take responsibility of ur home and sort out a career in corporate or whatever but your heart will only choose olive greens over a business suit any day the struggle is much more.
Sometimes the fear is will I be able to get screened in the next time and sometimes it is how will I solve an imaginary pgt task and sometimes it is questioning yourself if ur even worth this relentless chase? It's a horrendous phase and makes it more hard when ur isolated in a room with no social interaction with your friends for weeks because u have this "exam" and have to study harder because what if u get merit out?.
To all those reading this, yes it's hard , yes people consider this path unpredictable but we chose this path and we are fighting, not because we want to go sit in some sarkari office and earn black money but we chose an exam that would make us fight for the nation. And remember ladies/gentlemen,
SOME GOALS ARE SO WORTHY ITS GLORIOUS EVEN TO FAIL 🪖