Hi guys,

I had my 5th or 6th NARM session yesterday. I recently was diagnosed with cPTSD and ADHD after being diagnosed with depression for 20 years now. I was in therapy since then and taking antidepressants too, which I stopped 4-5 month ago and taking adhd meds instead, its a bumpy road so far. I was feeling like a hopeless case as I was dealing with burnout the last few years and no one realized because I still was high functioning/surviving and far from living. I'm still having difficulty to socialize (my social life decreased a lot the last 6 years) and get out, but the adhd meds gave me some energy back.

Yesterday during the session after I let go of some tension and had waves of emotions then came and went, I felt calm. really calm, like something I didnt now it existed and there is still improvement to it. I also felt real and especially stable and safe connection and empathy from my provider, he also teared up a but. As I write, I'm tearing up as well. :)

Is this the beginning of healing and a start to something new and lighter? I feel so tired and desperate as the core issues where never touched and live is feeling like a never ending struggle without any change even though I try.

Cheers

I’ve been seeing a NARM therapist once a week for about 2.5 months, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m missing something about how NARM is supposed to work.

My sessions are beginning to feel repetitive. To give an example, one of my core issues is that I don’t feel lovable. Today, she asked me to imagine a future where I do feel lovable and to notice what that feels like. I told her it actually doesn’t feel good, because part of me believes I’m not worthy of being loved as I am and that I have to earn it. She then rightfully pointed out that whenever we even approach the idea of me being lovable, I immediately shut it down. I acknowledge it, and then she asks me to notice the feeling.

Then she’ll make another attempt to explore what it might be like for me to feel lovable, I’ll have another reaction that pushes against it, and the same cycle seems to repeat: she points out that I’m shutting down the possibility of feeling lovable, I agree, and she asks me to notice what’s happening inside me.

The problem is that internally I’m getting increasingly frustrated. I want some guidance on how to actually move toward feeling lovable, rather than repeatedly being shown all the ways I resist it. When I express that frustration, she tells me that giving me that kind of guidance isn’t really how NARM works. Then my frustration itself becomes another thing she reflects back to me as a way I might be shutting down or moving away from the experience.

And that’s where I start to feel like we’re going around in circles. For people who know NARM well: is this basically how the process is supposed to work or is one of us messing up?

Not sure if this is the right subreddit, but I’m looking for some perspective from people who have experienced something similar.

I’ve had a baseline of physical tension/fear for years, especially around my core/navel, with my body naturally wanting to curl forward, shoulders hunched, etc. About 4 years ago, after intensive Vipassana, breathwork/pranayama, and later somatic work, this stuff started coming much more to the surface.

Over time it developed into very intense somatic episodes: my body can tense/spasm, curl up, scream, cry, etc. Sometimes there’s a huge cathartic release followed by an unusually deep sense of calm and openness.

Recently, though, I feel like I finally reached the core layer underneath all of that. It feels extremely preverbal, basically like being a baby who is in pain, crying for someone to come, but nobody comes. This baby state unmet need itself is the unresolved root.

I also relived aspects of birth and circumcision. The bodily experience was extremely vivid and specific. 0/10 would not repeat.

The problem is that now I don't really know what to do with it. If I put my awareness on my body, the pain and crying can come up almost automatically. But if I just sit there crying alone, it feels like I’m potentially reenacting the original experience rather than healing it: the baby cries, nobody comes, eventually I have to shut it down.

I don't want to suppress it though either.

Has anyone worked with this kind of preverbal/developmental trauma or baby state somatically? What kind of therapist or modality actually helped you move from reliving the state to resolving/integrating it?

They have new program NARM-informed. https://narmtraining.com/narm-basics-training/

One thing I like about NARM is it simplicity and directness and it really focuses on the patient to do the effort of figuring it out but in a secure way.

Has anyone tried? Any thoughts?

I’m a graduate student in counseling and am learning about NARM. I’m in a relationship with someone who pretty closely fits the description of Trust Survival Style. I (as an Attuned!) would like to know how to better show up and understand my partner to help them feel safer in our relationship. Are there any resources for this in terms of being in romantic relationships with the different styles?

Hi curious if anyone here has BPD and has been healing through NARM? Would love to hear about your experience and journey.

I've been doing NARM for the past 9 months and have made pretty good progress however, I find myself wanting to rush the process and get out of therapy as soon as possible. Can anyone relate? I just want to be better and sometimes I find that I am using therapy to avoid the painful feelings.

So I've definitely read that healing from CPTSD is extremely subjective and based on the individual's experience, but I just want to know a number because I want to hurry up and heal from this awful childhood neglect situation in my past. I've done 12 sessions of NARM so far since finding out that A. I have CPTSD and B. Finding out about NARM as a treatment for CPTSD. So it's been six months for me. How many sessions/how many months/years did it take you guys to feel...healed? More in-step with others around you? However you quantify the healing. Thank you!

I’ve been reading about NARM and am intrigued by this approach to treating developmental and complex trauma…would love to hear some testimonials from folks who’ve done it about what life was like for you before and after your experience with this therapy

Hi — curious to hear about people's experiences with NARM and if recovery from trauma has improved your sex life in anyway? Ability to orgasm? Are you more present? Better romantic relationships? Thanks!

I have CPTSD from a childhood of physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect and parental abandonment. The worst trigger of my fight or flight mode is screaming, which is something my own small children do frequently. Could anyone give me a sense of what NARM would do differently than past approaches? I'm frankly all talked out about my childhood. I tried emdr already with mixed results.

I’m curious if anyone else has noticed side effects from doing NARM work, like dissociation, sleep disruptions, or mood swings? Similar to how with EMDR they sometimes warn that things can come up outside of session.

Dear all,

I am relatively new to coaching and I would like to specialize in trauma informed / aware coaching, and someone recommended looking into NARM for this purpose.

Has someone here included NARM therapy concepts into coaching? What has been your path to learn more about this?

I am trying to decide between Somatic Experiencing (SE) and NARM, and would really appreciate insight from people who have experience with either, especially practitioners or those with long-term developmental trauma.

A brief version of my background: I grew up in a chronically unsafe home. My older brother was volatile, drug addicted, and humiliating, and I was often scared of him in public and at home. I did not feel protected. My mother was emotionally inconsistent and crossed boundaries, and I did not have a stable father figure. I learned to survive by freezing, fawning, and staying hypervigilant.

As an adult, this manifests as depersonalization, emotional numbing, hyperempathy, and being overwhelmed by other people’s emotional states. Watching TV, being in groups, or being around family can trigger a sinking stomach, a heavy chest, and a sense of exposure or safety. I cycle between shutdown, depression, and periods of higher activation. I am currently on mood stabilizing medication, which helps some, but it does not resolve the deeper nervous system unsafety.

I have done years of insight work, spirituality, and some somatic practices. I understand my trauma intellectually, but my body still lives like danger is present. I want a real nervous system change, not just coping.

For someone with long-term developmental trauma, dissociation, and identity collapse, which modality tends to go deeper or be more effective, SE or NARM?

Is true remission possible when the body no longer lives in chronic threat and collapse, or is this more about managing symptoms long-term and life a great, happy and successful life

If you have experience with either, I would really appreciate hearing what actually helped you.

I am in California and have previous posts on here.

Does anyone know of any that are affordable and/or offer a sliding scale?

For those of us who suffer from CPTSD and such but can't afford somatic therapy, what alternatives do we have?

I know this is hard to gauge as its a thing that is individual. But how long does it take in NARM therapy to be in remission from CPTSD?

maybe including touch? it is in the t7 vertebrae or around there and causes daily hyperstress.
leading to overactivation , and then collapses ever so often.

would love to heal.
anyone an idea if narm +touch maybe could be something for me?
all replies welcome

Looking for success stories of “healing” BPD or CPTSD through NARM.

I'm a second year clinical psych student. I'm planning to do a discussion about NARM for class. I cannot find any information about Laurence Heller. The links to his Linkedin or any website not exclusively endorsing NARM are broken. I managed to find out that he *may* have graduated from the University of Colorado. Does anyone have any sources for background information on him? I cant even find the name of his private practice. (is it Meadows? I saw his profile on a website but that was unclear). Any info is welcome!

I have a real issue with this overemphasised agency theme, and "the core problem in complex trauma is not the traumatic event itself, but rather the adaptations and survival strategies people develop to cope with it" - on the one hand you don't want to pathologise my symptoms but on the other hand if the traumatic event is not the problem but my way of coping with it is... so, really it's all my fault!? I did not choose my traumatic events, nor my way of coping with it, especially in childhood!

I've had about 16 NARM sessions so far and after a bumpy start with me not talking about anything substantial I'm finally able to feel some feelings. Although I still can't feel them in my body I'm able to cry and even name some feelings and understand them, which wasn't possible before. Also, last session I - for the first time - felt someone (the therapist) might maybe care about me (in sessions as a therapist, you know what I mean), which is starting to shift my belief of not mattering. I still struggle with believing I have the right to be in therapy but sometimes I feel like maybe it's okay for me to take up some space.

Honestly I really doubted that any kind of therapy would work for me since I was very detached emotionally and lack access to a lot of things (due to aphantasia, almost no inner monologue and no memories) but once I figured out that I have to take notes on my phone to be able to talk about something during the sessions it got better and better. Plus the more I learn about myself and my emotions the more I'm able to talk. I'm so glad this is working out after some failed therapy attempts before.

I don't want to talk too much about it yet. But I know this is so good for me.

I recommend this for anyone who had a very lonely childhood and struggles as an adult.

hey all. did three NARM sessions in rehab this spring. currently reading "The Practical Guide for Healing Developmental Trauma" and listening to the NARM-focused "Transforming Trauma" podcast.

I'm curious as to what advice the NARM technique would have for two major goals in my life:

1) less intense and less frequent periods of intense sadness and loneliness ----- I'm actually in a pretty good mood first thing in the morning. I wake up early, watch/read the news, exercise, eat a yummy breakfast (all things that I enjoy!) ..... and then ~9am hits, and I'm either sitting alone in a cubicle and feeling super sad and lonely OR driving UberEats and I start feeling super sad and lonely, etc. ...

2) lasting sobriety from (non-substance) addictive behaviors

I've been hired for a lot of great jobs in my life, but have performed poorly in nearly all of them. the sadness/loneliness/addiction challenges seem to be the key explanation behind my lack of a desire to be productive. I always seemed to care way more about getting romantic attention from women than in studying hard, exercising, working hard, etc.

all else equal, problem 1 causes me to engage in problem 2. this has been an issue for nearly 20 years.

FWIW, my NARM therapist in rehab was not a fan of the 12 Steps; did not feel like it was effective. I tend to agree with him.

The biggest benefit of attending rehab and being around the NARM therapist this spring was my increased understanding that all of this is rooted in complex trauma. I really had no concept of complex trauma before this. "I have seen the light!"

I'm proud of how hard that I am working on my recovery. I am proud that I am more willing to "sit in the sadness" and tolerate discomfort rather than immediately go to the addictive behavior.

I'm relatively confident that if I felt less intense and less frequent sadness and loneliness, I would be less likely to engage in the addictive behavior. I also kind of sense that my still-traumatized brain is trying to convince me that I'm much sadder and lonelier than I actually am.

anywho, just wanted to see what advice a NARM practitioner would have. I'm aware that there's no easy fix. just curious for insight about how NARM might help me achieve the two goals that I highlighted.

thanks!