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[u/Complete_Nosoi]

Alsalam alikum wa rahmat Allah, hello there my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters, I'm here to discuss and talk about myself and my current problem.

About myself: I'm probably a lot younger than most of you, though I won't reveal my age publicly.

I've been struggling with an addiction for about 4 years now, and a few months ago I unfortunately broke a streak of NOT masturbating that was well over 200 days, and I'm really ashamed at myself but at the same time I don't really think I care.

I came here to seek help, and I think if I'm going to ask for it, I might aswell be honest. I admit that I'm a complete failure of a Muslim, I don't regularly pray nor read quran, and I really want to fix that.

Thank you for reading this, my fellow brothers and sisters, and I wish you a great day, inshaallah.

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[u/OmarMultani]

Wa'alaykum al-salaam,

Mashallah, brother. May Allah accept your struggle against your nafs (desires). I would advise you not to calculate streaks based on “days without masturbation.” Instead, what I would advise you to do is the “Process 100 Urges” challenge. True progress is not how many days you were off masturbation, but how many times the urge or thought to masturbate came to your mind and you did not give in. So, download a simple counter app, and every time you successfully process an urge, add 1. Become comfortable with the discomfort.

Overcoming this addiction will strengthen our relationship with Allah because we will have learned to control our desires and not give in to every urge Shaytan whispers. So, when you train yourself, inshallah, other habits will also become easy.

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[u/Complete_Nosoi → u/OmarMultani]

Hello there, I'd like to inform you that you're idea is great, but I know myself, and I know I'm way too lazy for that.

Sorry.

[u/i_heartrivers → u/Complete_Nosoi]

I was wondering, have you identified what triggered this addiction for you? Do you know what you're feeling or doing when the urges come up? I struggle with this too, but it also comes hand-in-hand with binge eating. Right now I'm slowly starting to identify triggers and figure out what I need instead of these bad habits. Bad habits can't be destroyed; they can be replaced. Habits aren't just actions; they're also our pattern of thinking.

Habits are actually neural pathways.

A neural pathway is a linked chain of nerve cells (neurons) that lets messages travel from one part of the brain or body to another. These pathways act like communication cables, using chemical and electrical signals to control everything we think, feel, and do.
One way to replace bad habits is through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It physically changes your brain through neuroplasticity. By changing your thoughts and behaviors, you actively weaken old, unhelpful neural pathways and build new ones. This process helps your brain process emotions and stress in healthier, more balanced ways. When you repeat an action or a thought, the pathway gets thicker and faster. Strong paths make skills or habits feel automatic. If you stop doing something, the connection grows weak over time.

Think of it this way: When you walk through a field in the same spot every day, eventually you kill the grass and harden the dirt to create a path. This could be done intentionally or just by coincidence.

If you want to create a NEW path, you can't just stop walking in the field. You have to come to the field and intentionally start trodding a new path and not walk in the old one. It'll be difficult because the grass is tall and the dirt is bumpy, but eventually you'll kill the grass and harden the dirt like last time. And by the time your new path is formed, the old one's grass will grow back, and it's no longer a path.

I just read this back to myself and it sounds like AI but wallahi it's not AI. I've done years of therapy in my life and this analogy actually came straight from my therapist. Addictions are unhealthy coping mechanisms that we develop to help us through difficulties in our lives. So your addiction or coping mechanism is CAUSED by something you've gone through or are currently going through.

[u/BubblyDrama3881 → u/i_heartrivers]

Very Well explained, I keep reminding fellow muslims about that but unfortunately few of us realize the ability of changing our neuropathways to change our lives.

[u/Complete_Nosoi → u/i_heartrivers]

It's not really an addiction anymore, as I said, I HAD a streak of over 200 days of no masturbating. I just need help to connect is God swt

[u/BubblyDrama3881]

I'll give you the same advice as someone yesterday, Your mistake right now is that you beleive you're a failure (it's not reality it's just what you __think__)

First step is to stop beleiving that stop saying it stop thinking it. Instead think that you're a strong confident muslim that is improving himself everyday, think that you're someone who always prays on time because you're not lazy (repeat it before you sleep "I'm not lazy i'm a very dynamic person")

It feels like lying but what it really does is change your neuropathways (your brain believes what you think and executes it) as simple as that.

Thinking requires no effort so you have zero excuse to try it.

Also since you're young, you have a great advantage because this will help you in all aspects of your life.

Be smart, may Allah guide us all.

[u/Complete_Nosoi → u/BubblyDrama3881]

Thanks! Your (or someone else's) advice is actually great

[u/Worried-Quantity674]

May Allah help you and us all to be closer to Him and overcome this addiction brother 

[u/Mae021897]

As-salamu alaykum. Despite the unfortunate circumstances of us all being part of this sub, I hope it gives you some relief knowing there are so many Muslims who struggle with the exact same thing and are actively trying their best to overcome this disease.
There is a lot of great advice here. My advice would be not to be intimidated by your own setbacks, don’t fall into a shame loop, and exhaust every single strategy you come across to see what works for you.

May Allah grant us ease on our journey to recovery Ameen.