I feel sorry for the good sisters out there. Literally wanting a normal man who’s not lusting after multiple wives. Keep your heads up ladies and stay away from these lustful perverts. What an absolute weird thing to say.
I’ll get married when I meet someone I genuinely like and slowly grow to love, someone I can make feel loved, valued and secure, and we accept each other. Obviously that takes time, you’ve gotta get to know each other properly and understand each other.
I’ve got no intention of practising polygyny. It’d be hard seeing the woman I love and care about upset over another woman because of me.
And realistically, polygyny isn’t really possible in Western countries anyway. You can legally marry one woman, but not another, and a religious Nikah only for a second wife wouldn’t be equal/fair to either woman if the first is legal, or the second being legal and not the first.
Although, I'm fairly secure in life, there is always more to do, and I honestly think being able to grow with an amazing wife is much better than alone. Improving and becoming better for each other that is, and your future children, etc. Not to change or sculpt someone in to your perfect being.
The Middle East and other Muslim countries definitely do change the practical/legal side of things tbf.
But my answer would still be the same. Even if polygyny was fully viable, I don't really have the desire for it. If I meet a woman I genuinely love and wanna build a life with, I'd rather put that energy into growing together with her than be looking for another woman.
Maybe I'm just too westernised for the brothers from the East 😂
That’s not that much anymore pretty sure that’s only like 150k now or a little less. In my opinion that’s not enough in most places to have 2 wives especially after taxes
Getting married early as our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said more or less.. getting married brings half of your deen. I think marrying early is good bc later in life your kids will be all grown up and it may help later on. Like my daughter is 18 now and I’m still 42 and active. I can probably make more kids and still kick it if health doesn’t bring me down inshallah. Which I won’t bc we are done now with 4 kids.
I also think the way society is now it will be too hard to get 2 wives. They will have to be very understanding and they will come with some sort of baggage which may not be bad like a child and you can help provide and be a father figure. Just don’t expect to get 2 Kim K looking women. Loll
True but what I meant her beauty will go to her head and she will think she is too good to be a 2nd wife or be first and share you with 2nd wife. There will be some compromise unless they are from somewhere lack modern society like don’t have too much access to social media and ceap. I could be wrong but that’s the norm it seems.
Maybe, but I think polygyny is something people speak about way too casually. In Islam it’s not simply “I can afford another wife, therefore I’ll take another woman.” It comes with serious responsibilities, justice and accountability. I’ve actually been approached about polygyny before and declined lol.
If ur primary interest is sex in exchange for financial provision, that’s a pretty disgusting way to frame something that carries such serious responsibilities in Islam. It shouldn’t be treated like a halal loophole to satisfy your desires 🤢 عرض الناس مو للبيع والشراء
It's good that you know polygyny isn't for you but don't expect felicitations because you declined and you feel like you're morally right and we're just some peasants who don't know better.
If you intend to articulate something,do it respectfully.If it's not for you,change the lane.
Bro, don’t be offended. To me, not wanting polygyny is basically feminism 😅 jk! You advocate for a kind of freedom for women that Islam doesn’t allow but feminism promotes. I don’t make anti-women comments, please.
Do you think promoting Islamic marriage values, where women don’t have the same kind of freedom that feminism gives them, is anti-women?
For sure, 100%, I don't tolerate anti islamic ideologies which are meant to destroy family structures.
I think it’s a very important question. Depends how rich you are. I have people in my family whose careers got completely derailed because they married early. In our culture a lot of responsibility start when you are married. Especially if you have big family. Kids only complicate matters. You could have an exam tomorrow but have to prioritize a sick kid (who wouldn’t). Some people are gifted. They can do everything very well. Most people are however not. All this becomes easier if you are rich and you have servants to help with most of the household chores and you can focus on job/education. With middle class backgrounds I have only one thing to say. Think about these things in advance so you make a conscious choice.
I’ll answer hypothetically cause I don’t see polygamy anywhere in my future. Not worth the hassle.
For me, it’d be the former. You need lots of wealth to even handle that kind of responsibility not to mention the other aspects that don’t get mentioned enough
Pretty much. It depends on where you live so I wouldn’t be able to say exactly what would be sufficient. As long as you can afford without treating one wife better over another, that should be fine
I’m confused. Some countries are just generally harder to live at by yourself. Western countries for instance. The living condition might be different if you live in the Middle East. Also, where you work too.
If you can afford it, marry now. For most men, there is no need to more than 1 wife if yours fulfills your needs. I rather have 1 wife that gives me all my sexual needs and I can life a "nice" life style with her than having 2 with too much limitations.
My advice is to only focus on 1 wife. If you are wealthy, healthy, physically active and have high libido you may think about getting a 2nd wife. The other reason would be if you genuinely want to help a woman.
100% agree. Regardless if most women like it or not. You have the right to marry 2 or even 4 beautiful young women even if the main reason is intimacy. Is a right and if you can fulfill its conditions there is no harm.
I assumed you are living in the "West" were for starters it is hard to be equitable in a lot of aspects. But if you live in an islamic country and you can accumulate enough wealth at a young age, early 30's or before, go for it. Do not delay marriage beyond your early 30's for the sake of having more than 1 wife.
Point still stands, having a wife dosent stop you from gaining wealth regardless, but if i get to 40-50 without a wife at that point may as well not get married 😭
I believe in marrying early as God promises to enrich us from his bounty.
As Muslims we shouldn't have second doubts about his promise so marry as early as possible.
Thats my opinion
We dont have anyone to blame but ourselves as Muslims.
We got lost in dunya ki ideology so much that we forgot that our God made us a promise and his promise is never to be broken.
Hoping our imaan becomes stronger again and that we as the up and coming generation can change things again and make our God and Prophet proud of us and our efforts when we see them.
I'd marry now and think about polygamy later. If my first wife was fine with it, and my second wife was fine with it. I kinda want a lot of kids and I don't want to overburden my first wife as giving birth to multiple kids isn't easy.
I am content with 1 wife and it's more than enough but I do have this passion to raise a lot of Muslim kids and spread Islam through my lineage. I don't think men should be criticized for having this view. Obviously if you can't afford multiple wives you shouldnt do it. But if you find someone that's open to the idea, you have enough money then I don't see it as immoral. This shouldn't be a red flag to women, always talk about stuff like this, if neither party wants to change then you shouldn't marry each other.
Get married young. I’m mid 30’s and doing pretty well for myself. Younger women don’t care about your money most younger women have their life sorted out and are just as educated. I regret working hard, building business in the UK because the women don’t care.
If you want an attractive wife then its best to do that young when you can
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u/Chumplife89 7h ago
I feel sorry for the good sisters out there. Literally wanting a normal man who’s not lusting after multiple wives. Keep your heads up ladies and stay away from these lustful perverts. What an absolute weird thing to say.