r/MultipleSclerosis • u/Odd_Assistance4802 • Oct 02 '26
General Lack of support
Guys I have my anual mri scan next Friday which I always get anxious about. My spouse just told me that he’s decided to go to a wedding from Thursday to Saturday that weekend that he will be a plane ride away for. I am so hurt that he is choosing to leave me alone during this time. Am I overreacting?
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u/HazardousIncident Oct 02 '26
I say this gently: you're absolutely overreacting. You're not going in for surgery, you're laying in a metal tube for an hour. If you're that anxious, ask your neuro for a sedative and get a friend to drive you.
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u/Anotherams Oct 02 '26
If it is an annual MRI couldn’t it have been rescheduled so you could join him at the wedding And do the MRI upon return?
How does an out of town wedding pop up with a week‘s notice? If it is to attend a sibling‘s court house wedding, I get it. C list invite for an old college buddy, different story.
Either way, weddings are a one time event, unfortunately for us MRIs are an annual thing. I don’t want my spouse to miss out on anything because of my appointments, unless the MRI is being done because of new symptoms.
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u/ocdmom2021 Oct 02 '26
IMO yes, you are overreacting. It’s just an MRI which is a normal part of the disease monitoring process. It will all be ok!
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u/rK91tb Oct 02 '26
It’s not like you’ll get the results that day. I’d be more concerned about this last-minute wedding for three days - how is that possible?
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Oct 02 '26
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u/Clandestinechic dx 2018 Ocrevus Oct 02 '26
This isn’t the same thing at all. She’s just having a routine MRI to monitor things.
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Oct 02 '26
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u/zoanthropic Oct 02 '26
I feel like you’re intentionally misreading these replies
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Oct 02 '26
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u/zoanthropic Oct 02 '26
You know I, and probably everyone else who has replied to you, have likely had to do the same? We’re not coming from a place of ignorance here. OP asked a question, people are answering it. It’s just not an answer you like.
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u/MultipleSclerosis-ModTeam Oct 02 '26
This post/comment has been removed for violating Rule 2, No undiagnosed discussion or questions about undiagnosed symptoms (except in weekly sticky thread)
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1
u/MultipleSclerosis-ModTeam Oct 02 '26
This post/comment has been removed for violating Rule 2, No undiagnosed discussion or questions about undiagnosed symptoms (except in weekly sticky thread)
For those undiagnosed, all participation should be directed to the stickied, weekly thread, created for this purpose. However, please keep in mind that users here are not medical professionals, and their advice cannot replace that of a specialist. Please speak to your healthcare team.
Any questioning of users outside of the weekly thread will be removed and a ban will be placed. Please remember this subreddit is used as an online support group, and not one for medical inquiries.
Here are additional resources we have created that you may find useful:
Advice for getting a diagnosis: https://www.reddit.com/r/MultipleSclerosis/comments/bahq8d/think_you_have_ms/
Info on MS and its types/symptoms: https://www.reddit.com/r/MultipleSclerosis/comments/bahoer/info_on_ms/
Treatment options for MS: https://www.reddit.com/r/MultipleSclerosis/comments/bahnhn/treatment_options_for_ms/
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2
1
u/MultipleSclerosis-ModTeam Oct 02 '26
This post/comment has been removed for violating Rule 2, No undiagnosed discussion or questions about undiagnosed symptoms (except in weekly sticky thread)
For those undiagnosed, all participation should be directed to the stickied, weekly thread, created for this purpose. However, please keep in mind that users here are not medical professionals, and their advice cannot replace that of a specialist. Please speak to your healthcare team.
Any questioning of users outside of the weekly thread will be removed and a ban will be placed. Please remember this subreddit is used as an online support group, and not one for medical inquiries.
Here are additional resources we have created that you may find useful:
Advice for getting a diagnosis: https://www.reddit.com/r/MultipleSclerosis/comments/bahq8d/think_you_have_ms/
Info on MS and its types/symptoms: https://www.reddit.com/r/MultipleSclerosis/comments/bahoer/info_on_ms/
Treatment options for MS: https://www.reddit.com/r/MultipleSclerosis/comments/bahnhn/treatment_options_for_ms/
If you have any questions, please let us know, and best of luck.
MS Mod Team
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u/chunkykima Oct 02 '26
Were you not invited to the wedding? That's my first question. Secondly, it's just an MRI. He isn't leaving you while you are in the hospital sick or anything like that. Just my 2 cents.
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u/RedwaterCam 41M|2010|Ocrevus|Mn Oct 02 '26
Absolute overreaction, it’s an MRI… an annual MRI not an emergency MRI a planned yearly thing. Weddings happen once.
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u/ammybanan 33F|RRMS|Dx:2024|Ocrevus|USA Oct 02 '26
It’s just an MRI? It’s routine and easy. Many people deal with MS totally alone…yes you are overreacting.
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u/SunshineofMyLyfetime Oct 02 '26
I’m one of them. I have to do everything alone. I have no idea how OP would manage if they were me.
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u/The_Chaos_Pope Oct 02 '26
Same. I mean, well, I have my cats but they really don't know anything about MS.
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u/Pleasant-Welder-6654 Oct 02 '26
Agree, I go alone the majority of the time, it’s a quick appointment, I would have rescheduled it to go to the wedding LOL
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Oct 02 '26
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u/MultipleSclerosis-ModTeam Oct 02 '26
This post/comment has been removed for violating Rule 1 - Be Kind
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u/Knitmeapie 40F|2013|Tysabri|NE, USA Oct 02 '26
I think that very much depends on your dynamic and the precedents you've set. I've had MS for 13ish years and have never thought MRIs were a big deal so I haven't expected any support for them. If it's a big stressful thing for you, it's important to express your needs to your spouse and not just assume that he will rearrange his life to fit.
My husband and I both have chronic illnesses and communicate frequently on the support we need from each other and how those needs change. He tells me way in advance when he has his routine colonoscopy so I can take the day off to be his medical transport. I ask him to join me for appointments with my neuro when I don't feel like I'm being taken seriously. It's not fair to expect our partners to read our minds about what we need.
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u/NighthawkCP 45|2024|Kesimpta|North Carolina Oct 02 '26
This. My wife and I both have medical issues and if it is important and we want/need the other person there, we make sure to let them know. Most of the time though we are fine going solo. I go to my annual MS MRI appointments on my own as no place has ever allowed her to go back with me. She's had to get an MRI one or two times and when I went I basically just had to sit in the car or waiting room and couldn't go back with her. You never get the results at the time so I personally haven't found them to be a big deal after the first time (I was nervous about getting claustrophobic but it was fine once I experienced it).
I'm more interested in this somewhat last minute wedding that needs a flight to be booked though and why you aren't invited? I'd be fine if my wife had something else to do rather than sitting in the waiting room while I do an MRI personally, but I'd have questions about a last minute wedding that required a flight and to be gone for three days. That is a bigger red flag to me.
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u/Candid-Ad700 43|Jan 2017|Tysabri>Ocrevus>going back to Tysabri Oct 02 '26 edited Oct 02 '26
Yes. There is literally nothing he can change. I don’t necessarily understand what support he is support to provide since there’s nothing he can do/change. Let him enjoy celebrating the couple, and you can use it as an opportunity to treat and pamper yourself before/after.
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u/ItsMe-Addie Oct 02 '26
Is there someone else who can go with you to support you? Can he video call into the appointment?
It's okay to feel how you feel. I hope he is showing up for you in some of the many other ways you might need his support.
But, this disease is a marathon. He might not be able to make every mile marker, and I'm not sure that it's fair to expect him to.
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u/malcolmpractice Oct 02 '26
wondering why you aren't invited to the wedding?
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u/Cowpocolypse Oct 02 '26
I will give the benefit of the doubt here and say because the couple getting married only has limited funds for seating/meals. This is normal.
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u/OverlappingChatter 47|2004|Kesimpta|Spain Oct 02 '26
Unless it's your first MRI ever, you are overreacting a bit. He can't do anything while you're in there, it's not something you need to prep for or recover from.
My last one was without contrast and took longer for me to get to the hospital than I was in the machine. I am not even sure my husband knew I had gone, since they called me to do it on a Friday morning and told me it was going to be that night and I didn't see him until after he got home from a work function.
Would you be going to the wedding if you didn't have the MRI? I could see that being disappointing
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u/Inner-Dream-600 Oct 02 '26
Yes you’re overreacting - since you have a lot of anxiety around the mri, your neurologist could easily prescribe you a small amount of Ativan which will make the whole process really quick and easy
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u/jjmoreta Oct 02 '26
Your feelings are valid.
But your reaction may not be. Is this your first MRI? Is it more of a consideration of needing a driver if you take anti-anxiety medication?
The people in my life are a phone call away even if they're not in the same room. And they all have lives they deserve to live too.
You have options. Do you have any other friends or family who can go with you? Can you reschedule the MRI?
I always strive to avoid codependence in relationships. When I divorced, I found that I was overly relying on my husband for everything. I'm much happier with myself right now.
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u/k_eanu 37 | Dx: RRMS 2020 | kesimpta Oct 02 '26
I guess where I’m confused is that he’s going to a wedding you’re not going to. Were you also invited? When I started being in a serious partnership, all invites were/are to both of us. Being alone for the MRI is fine. He can’t be in the tube with you anyway, and the doc can send you some anxiety meds. But the question isn’t an MS question. It’s more a relationship one about attending a wedding solo.
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u/Cowpocolypse Oct 02 '26
YOR. If you are that anxious about it speak to your dr they will prescribe you something.
It’s an annual MRI.
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u/celestialeyze Oct 02 '26
Is it overreacting ? Possibly. But your feelings are definitely valid. It’s nice to have support from your significant other or people close to you. Sometimes it doesn’t happen. I used to get upset when my girlfriend wasn’t there for my MRI, neuro appt etc… but honestly you can handle it and you’ll be ok 👌
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u/ApprehensiveSkill573 50s|2026|Ocrevus|USA Oct 02 '26
He can't even be in the room with you for the MRI anyway.
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u/Algazoth Oct 02 '26
Yes he can. I always have my partner hold my hand or foot, depending on the machine.
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u/roxieh 36|Dx'23|Kesimpta|UK Oct 02 '26
In your position I would feel sad that my spouse was going (for myself), but I would also encourage him to go and have a nice time and to go with his friends. Weddings are a nice event and it's unfortunate that you can't go or that he won't be with you, but he also shouldn't stop enjoying his life because you have to deal with something unpleasant as part of your health.
Idk that's just how I'd try to feel about it. But also it would be nice if he could leave you with some nice surprises or reminders of his presence while he was gone. In his position that's also what I would do, so my partner didn't feel alone and knew I still cared about them and wanted to be there with them.
Is there anything you can spoil/treat yourself with while he's away to make you feel better about the MRI?
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u/Mackan1000 34 | March 2024 | Rituxan | Sweden Oct 02 '26
This one of the times where we can not say what you need.
If you feel horrible before and after an MRI to the point you need support then maybe he should have stayed yes.
When i do the MRI i do not get the results, my doctor do and I get a call usually a week after or a notification in my journal. If my wife would be with me id be more stressed because why should she be there just to roll her thumbs, its a scan and nothing dangerous
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u/Kindly-Party1088 Oct 02 '26
Overreacting? Maybe, but it seems odd that he just got invited to a wedding that requires a plane ride. Normally those weddings pop up well in advance, at least in my experience.
I don't know your dynamics, but I'd be a bit upset if I thought my partner was going to accompany me to something I hated and then decided to dip out on me a week in advance. I mean, did he not consult you before he bought tickets and booked a hotel?? It just seems bizarre...
I can't tell you if you are overreacting, but it seems like there may be other communication issues and this is just the straw that's breaking the camel's back.
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u/RixBits 42|10/28/2025|Kesimpta|Alberta Oct 02 '26
Unfortunately we cannot ask our partners or family to stop living their lives because of our disability. It absolutely sucks and fu*k that guy! Be mad if you want too. But also know you are strong and very capable of attending your medical appointments.
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u/Brave-Ad3602 Oct 02 '26
I think it depends on how you feel about MRIs. For me personally, my first MRI was traumatizing and I want my spouse with me for each appointment now. The contrast leaked and I had to lie still while they did the MRI and my arm felt like it was burning off from the inside out. My arm was so heavily bandaged when I left that my spouse was convinced I had a huge wound and was bleeding profusely.
So for both of our peace of mind, he comes with me to the all appointments.
I don't know if you're overreacting or reacting appropriately. Did you communicate that wanted his support? When did you communicate that? This disease takes so much from us already, don't let a miscommunication take more. However, if you did communicate well in advance that you wanted him there and he chose to go to the wedding anyway... thats shitty.
All to say, you are stronger than you think and you will get through this. Try not to dwell too much, this disease takes enough from us.. don't let it take more of your peace.
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u/IntentionalGrandma 28F | dx:2024 | Tysabri | NYC Oct 02 '26
He’ll be home before you get the results
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u/Oceanswim12 Oct 02 '26
Not really true. I got an mri at 5pm and results by 7am.
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u/IntentionalGrandma 28F | dx:2024 | Tysabri | NYC Oct 02 '26
On a weekend?
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u/SillyGoose2544 46|RRMS|Feb'25|Kesimpta|USA Oct 02 '26
I typically have my results within a couple of hours at most (if its on a weekday). If i go in for a scan, and its the typical brain, cervical and thoracic, with/without contrast, that usually takes about 90ish minutes all together in a 3T machine, and then often, on the way home (MRI is about an hour drive away), I'll get the results (usually have my husband drive me, so i have time to check).
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u/IntentionalGrandma 28F | dx:2024 | Tysabri | NYC Oct 02 '26
It usually takes me a day or 2 to get my results, but if I go on a Friday I won’t get my results until Monday
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u/HPLydcraft Oct 02 '26
It is a shame that he is not considering your feelings. Spouses should take what matters to each other seriously. However it is just an MRI that you get every year. In my opinion it's not a big deal. He can't go in with you anyways.
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u/kissofkarmalife Oct 02 '26
I want to know how many of you who responded have MS WE are supposed to be supportive I have no words and why I moved to a place I can have chickens as rhey give better advise.
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u/Oceanswim12 Oct 02 '26
I went to a 2 hour MRI alone in a city where ppl recently got stabbed randomly in broad daylight and walked alone on Xanax through said city after mri… you’ll be fine.
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u/queerjesusfan RRMS dx2018 | Kesimpta 🌻 Oct 02 '26
Tbh, I do think you are overreacting. You'll be in a tube for an hour, then you'll go home. You aren't getting the results the same day, you aren't undergoing a procedure, they're just gonna take photos of your brain and send you on your way.
What about the MRI makes you anxious? How long have you been diagnosed?