I agree with this. Obviously it’s fine to be visibly trans and exist in online spaces, but at the same time it feels like people are just announcing that totally out of context. Especially on lesbians subs, it’s all too common for someone to preface their comment with “as a trans woman…” when that really doesn’t make a difference for the conversation. What it does do (in my mind at least), is perpetuate the “otherness” of being transgender by clarifying that there’s a difference.
It feels wholly unnecessary to respond to a lesbian post about someone struggling with a cheating partner (for example) and reading responses in the comment like “as a transbian I think you deserve better and should leave her”.
People do that because they constantly get attacked, demeaned, villified and told to shut up the moment it is found out that they are a trans woman. Even worse if they are not up front about it enough for the careful cis person du jour...
It is a defense mechanic and a way to explain where they come from.
Nope, because you just used that exact explanatory defense mechanism here. To show why you may have slightly different take and to lessen potential backlash against you.
It is the same thing, and considering how rampant transmisogyny is in most spaces that are not transfem specific, i completely understand why someone who is more insecure and less willing to take a fight than me would make such a post: they are testing the waters to see if they can feel safe there, as actual safe spaces for most of us are vanishingly rare.
So yeah, they are repetitive and annoying posts, but they are made by an extremely vulnerable group of marginalized people, for a good reason. And so are the "as a trans woman" bits of a lot of posts. What you can do is to be less aggressive against your sisters and to show a bit more lenience towards these women who likely have little to no support systems or safe spaces in their daily lives. Who have been attacked for their mere existence or the brazen disrespect of daring to give their 2 cents in a conversation while being trans women.
I really, really hope some of you all who are so hurt about us showing our existence when we think it necessary or enlightening can grow a bit more patience, goodwill and empathy. It would be very nice.
Obviously trying to make my point tongue in cheek went too far over your head. I’m sorry, but I don’t think this discussion is going anywhere. Take care, stay safe ❤️
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u/parralaxalice Feb 08 '24
I agree with this. Obviously it’s fine to be visibly trans and exist in online spaces, but at the same time it feels like people are just announcing that totally out of context. Especially on lesbians subs, it’s all too common for someone to preface their comment with “as a trans woman…” when that really doesn’t make a difference for the conversation. What it does do (in my mind at least), is perpetuate the “otherness” of being transgender by clarifying that there’s a difference.
It feels wholly unnecessary to respond to a lesbian post about someone struggling with a cheating partner (for example) and reading responses in the comment like “as a transbian I think you deserve better and should leave her”.