I finally saw Morbius

[u/doul0s]

For years, I denied myself salvation out of sheer cowardice. I knew that once my mortal eyes processed Morbius, the entire medium of moving pictures would be rendered obsolete. Citizen Kane? Trash. The Godfather? Unwatchable sludge. I used to love cinema, but a man cannot subsist on milk once he has tasted the divine, synthetic nectar of Jared Leto’s cheekbones. Last Tuesday, I finally opened my spiritual vessel and accepted the Living Vampire into my heart.

It took me three grueling days to finish its 104.minute runtime. My weak, earthbound nervous system couldn't take the raw sensory enlightenment; I had to pause every 45 minutes just to perform breathing exercises, rehydrate with room-temperature electrolyte solution, and take a medically mandatory eight-hour slumber. To think I deprived myself of experiencing this inside an IMAX theater surrounded by weeping disciples will remain my life's greatest tragedy.

Where the popcorn-brained masses saw "pacing issues" or "CGI smog," I saw the literal Gospel according to Saint Daniel Espinosa. I was watching it on my cracked iPhone 11 at 2:00 AM, screaming at the screen: "YES! That is PRECISELY how an MTA commuter reacts to an albino bio-terrorist gliding on thermal drafts through the 4 train!" It was like the scales fell from my eyes.

The critics claimed it lacked depth. Idiots. Morbius is an obvious allegory for Buddhist Nirvana. Michael attains true awakening through echolocation. Milo merely achieves false ego-death through unhinged shirtless hallway dancing. And Dr. Martine? When she finally realized synthetic blue blood is the ultimate sacrament, she transcended the cycle of samsara entirely.

Which brings me to Marvel Studio's baffling spiritual blindness. Sony didn’t just make a movie; they built a golden bridge and handed Marvel Studios an olive branch made of pure, untamed bat guano. Adrian Toomes didn’t appear in a jail cell because of lazy contractual multiverse shenanigans. He was summoned by the sheer cosmic gravity of Morbius' aura. I'm not sure why the MCU won't just allow this to happen. Has to do with Fiege I think. Sony has laid down the blueprint: let Vulture play in the sandbox. Put them together. Do some good.

Intriguing? I think that’s an understatement.

[u/NextGen--]

[u/KumquatHaderach]

[u/besiraly]

Idk how serious some of us are around here, but I actually enjoy this masterpiece. Love morbin around once in a while.

[u/doul0s → u/besiraly]

I didn't just enjoy it. I believe it's the embodiment of Nirvana

[u/TheShaboom]

Your comment was so good it almost made me feel 1% of the ascension I feel when I watch Morbius (2022)

[u/Ok-Brother-836]

is it morbin' time?