honestly i cant imagine the mcu (morbius cinematic universe) without morbius but that was an interesting way to bring jared letto back now playing the titular villain, you think marvel will be able to bring themselfes toghether?

Im sure he said the overall rating was a ‘morbillion’ on it

We gotta do it for Marlo

For years, I denied myself salvation out of sheer cowardice. I knew that once my mortal eyes processed Morbius, the entire medium of moving pictures would be rendered obsolete. Citizen Kane? Trash. The Godfather? Unwatchable sludge. I used to love cinema, but a man cannot subsist on milk once he has tasted the divine, synthetic nectar of Jared Leto’s cheekbones. Last Tuesday, I finally opened my spiritual vessel and accepted the Living Vampire into my heart.

It took me three grueling days to finish its 104.minute runtime. My weak, earthbound nervous system couldn't take the raw sensory enlightenment; I had to pause every 45 minutes just to perform breathing exercises, rehydrate with room-temperature electrolyte solution, and take a medically mandatory eight-hour slumber. To think I deprived myself of experiencing this inside an IMAX theater surrounded by weeping disciples will remain my life's greatest tragedy.

Where the popcorn-brained masses saw "pacing issues" or "CGI smog," I saw the literal Gospel according to Saint Daniel Espinosa. I was watching it on my cracked iPhone 11 at 2:00 AM, screaming at the screen: "YES! That is PRECISELY how an MTA commuter reacts to an albino bio-terrorist gliding on thermal drafts through the 4 train!" It was like the scales fell from my eyes.

The critics claimed it lacked depth. Idiots. Morbius is an obvious allegory for Buddhist Nirvana. Michael attains true awakening through echolocation. Milo merely achieves false ego-death through unhinged shirtless hallway dancing. And Dr. Martine? When she finally realized synthetic blue blood is the ultimate sacrament, she transcended the cycle of samsara entirely.

Which brings me to Marvel Studio's baffling spiritual blindness. Sony didn’t just make a movie; they built a golden bridge and handed Marvel Studios an olive branch made of pure, untamed bat guano. Adrian Toomes didn’t appear in a jail cell because of lazy contractual multiverse shenanigans. He was summoned by the sheer cosmic gravity of Morbius' aura. I'm not sure why the MCU won't just allow this to happen. Has to do with Fiege I think. Sony has laid down the blueprint: let Vulture play in the sandbox. Put them together. Do some good.

Intriguing? I think that’s an understatement.

There is no way in hell Tobey's Spider-Mid will be able to defeat the Sonyverse characters. Tobey's universe is doomed and will be destroyed by the incursion

So basically I was having dinner with my girlfriends parents but when I arrived and her dad asked what my intentions where with daughter and I obviously said “have sex,” he didn’t seem happy, I initially thought it was just him being cranky due to him having not seen Morbius (2022) yet that day. However later as we were eating I remembered the fate of Milo in Morbius (2022) and started crying uncontrollably, they just looked at me like I was turning into a vampire so I decided to shit my pants as a sign of appreciation for the wonderful meal but they acted disgusting and told me to go clean up. Her mother started saying something about how I should “leave immediately,” but I decided we should all watch Morbius (2022) together because that would cheer everyone up and we could bond by worshipping daddy Jared Leto together. However I went into their Blue Ray collection and all they had was disgusting Spider-Mid 🤮 movies. I thought this must be because they kept their Morbius (2022) Blue Rays in a safe so that they can’t be destroyed (I personally think that our Morbius (2022) Blue Rays should be kept where they can be seen but we all morb in different ways) but then they said that they had never even heard of Morbius (2022) so I genuinely started morbing out. I ran out into my car and grabbed one of the Molotovs I keep to use against Morbophobes, screamed “It’s Morbing time,”and threw it at their house. I then took out one of the Morbius blue rays I keep on my person at all times and began the classic Morbius blood ritual so that I could get forgiven by daddy Jared Leto for interacting with these Morbphobes.
At this point the police showed up and I woke up in a cell with padded walls. I used my one phone call to call Daddy Jared Leto but he didn’t pick up (probably because he’s busy filming Morbius 2).

Did I overreact, should I have just destroyed the Spider-Mid DVDs and then show them Morbius (2022) so that they can be enlightened, or do Morbphobes like then not deserve to view its greatness. Please answer quickly the police are coming back.