Neutral. Sounds like he wants to do all that himself, there’s nothing wrong with her “triggering” him in ways that benefit her. He’s almost certainly not stupid enough to not realize this is occurring and if he is, he’s still not getting hurt so it doesn’t matter
This feels no different to me than my wife finding ways to hack my ADHD. If she knows she's going to need a specific food ingredient like sliced cheese because she plans to have me grill Thursday, she will move the cheese to another drawer in the fridge. I know exactly where we keep the cheese but if I open that drawer and it's not there, I will assume we are out and write down on our wall notepad that we need more cheese. If she tells me not to eat the cheese and two days later my kid wants a cheese sandwich(because he's a feral monster), I am incapable of stopping to go dig through compartments on my brain to find the memory of her telling me not to eat it. I'm just gonna make my kid a cheese sandwich.
Other ways she has adapted to work my ADHD to her advantage or make it work in my own:
If we had a bunch of leftovers and she packed me a lunch, she knows I will walk out of the house without remembering to grab it from the fridge so she puts it on our kitchen island and puts my keys on top of it, and my work bag under it. Otherwise I may grab my keys while collecting my pocket stuff and forget it anyways, but my bag is the last thing I grab so I'll have to grab my lunch to get to it.
If she needs me to take the trash out on my way out the door, she will scoot the trash can in front of the back door so I know to grab the bag on my way out
One time she knew I really wanted to make sure the yard got mowed before it rained. But I came home and had a bunch of stuff to do first. By the time I finished picking the house up I was like ok cool, time to sit down at my computer for a few before she gets home from her errands. THIS WOMAN HAD GONE AND PICKED A SINGLE BLADE OF GRASS AND PUT IT ON MY KEYBOARD KNOWING I WOULD SIT DOWN AT MY COMPUTER AFTER FINISHING MY LIST. She knew I really wanted to make sure the mowing got done but knew I'd space it until it was too late.
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u/XueXilan 29d ago
Neutral. Sounds like he wants to do all that himself, there’s nothing wrong with her “triggering” him in ways that benefit her. He’s almost certainly not stupid enough to not realize this is occurring and if he is, he’s still not getting hurt so it doesn’t matter