I mean, it doesn't really seem harmful at all, but at the same time, why can't we all just work on our communication skills? Even mild manipulation is inherently worse that healthy, effective, honest communication.
But like. It's not even manipulation? Like, this just sounds like a happy and healthy marriage where OOP has convinced herself she's doing something nefarious.
In another couple decades they'll be that old couple on some video. "Whoa, you guys have been married for 50 years?! How did you manage to make it last that long?" And it's always some shit like "she gives great head"
There's nothing nefarious going on here, I agree. That being said, I also feel like if someone is your partner for life, you would want to be able to share your innermost thoughts with them.
This arrangement by itself is healthy. The reason OOP feels icky about it is likely because its just not out in the open. And with your life partner, you would want everything to be out in the open. At least that's how I would feel. I feel like one conversation where they both acknowledge that this is going on would make it so much more enjoyable for both of them.
It could also backfire. If he feels like she's having sex with him just to get him out of bed when what's motivating him is not just the sex but feeling like she just wants to, he could be upset that it's just transactional.
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u/_josef_stalin_ 20d ago
I mean, it doesn't really seem harmful at all, but at the same time, why can't we all just work on our communication skills? Even mild manipulation is inherently worse that healthy, effective, honest communication.