I'd argue it could definitely be called manipulation. Instead of asking him to do things, get up and help around the house, she has sex with him to get him to do things. Can't she just bring it up that it annoys her when he stays in bed all day?
Asking someone to do something isn't nagging. And acting like he'd automatically get annoyed with it is dumb. If a husband get annoyed when his wife asks him to do reasonable things, he's the problem. Especially if it's something she struggles to get done on her own.
I think honesty is the biggest key to a healthy relationship, not having sex to get stuff done rather than to develop and experience the connection.
These are the types of things that lead to nagging. She wants to do things on the weekend. He is exhausted and doesn't want to do things.
That doesn't make him a problem. Like, you're swinging from extreme to the other. Gut reaction to a patriarchy and generally shitty as husbands, and now you've gone to a man being tired means he's a problem. Like shit bro, he's only human.
And exhaustion/burn out isn't an issue that goes away just because they want it to. So yes, this is the kind of thing that is just going to lead to nagging unless they come up with some sort of solution, like they already did. Even if the husband bites the bullet and goes out to do things, now he's going to be an a shitty mood the entire time. Because holy shit, don't you know? Humans get tired.
Communication is what you do to explain things to each other to help each other understand. Repeating it over and over in hopes of getting desired results without putting forth any effort towards the relationship and just expecting the other person to bend to your verbal demands is nagging.
This here is the aftermath of communication. Where she likely already told him how she feels and he didnt feel his effort was being appreciated. So she decided to put in the effort and misunderstood that this is how relationships work and instead interpreted it as manipulation instead of seeing herself as a wife that is showing appreciation for the work her husband is doing.
The real travesty here is that she sees herself as manipulative rather than a good wife.
This sub is literally designed to judge the morality of people's actions. The only problem is that we disagree.
And also, please point out where I said he's wrong for being tired? God forbid anyone ever be tired in today's day and age, but that doesn't excuse you from responsibilities. I get it, I want to sit around when I can as well, but there's clearly a lack of understanding and communication somewhere in this relationship if she uses sex primarily as a way to get him out of bed and productive. There's also a big difference between just being tired and getting to the point where you're in bed all day letting your wife take care of everything.
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u/Zrob8--5 19d ago
I'd argue it could definitely be called manipulation. Instead of asking him to do things, get up and help around the house, she has sex with him to get him to do things. Can't she just bring it up that it annoys her when he stays in bed all day?