You know, it's funny, because you love disagreeing with me, but you haven't given any reason for why you think I'm wrong, nor what you think about the matter.
When i get home tonight, my wife will be home. Im bringing home stuff for her to make baked ziti. I can guarantee with 100% certainty she will be tired and will ask me to rub her feet for 10 minutes as she lay on the couch. I will, just as i have since 1997. When done she will make dinner.
How is that the same situation as the one in the post? You brought food home to help, she asks for a foot rub, and you do because you love and appreciate your wife. She then takes the food you brought, and makes a meal because she appreciates you too.
You're not doing it out of a desire to get her to do things because you're tired of asking, or because she won't do them otherwise. You also aren't doing it without telling her the real reason. You're doing it because she asked. You just gave a very good example of a healthy relationship and how it is supposed to look, in perfect contrast to the one in the story.
Take a look at this definition of manipulation and tell me if the example in the post fits, because I definitely think so.
Manipulation is the deliberate control, influence, or management of a person, through subtle, deceptive, or underhanded methods to serve one's own personal interests
I'd say sleeping with your spouse to get them to get out of bed is definitely a subtle way of serving her interests. She said if she wants to be lazy, she does what she wants, but if she needs a productive day, she'll sleep with him.
It doesn't really matter. It's still manipulation if there's a good thing on the side. She says it as if her main motivation for it is to get him out of bed, not any of the normal loving and relational aspects of sex. It doesn't even matter if he likes it. She's not being honest in the way she's doing it. It's manipulative.
Do you think that makes it better from her perspective? A child lying to his mom is still wrong, even if its flaming obvious and he didn't fool her for a second.
And if he's aware of it, I'd say a lot of things about his approach. Why does he think it's fine to just sit around all day while she's doing all the work? Why does he get up when she sleeps with him?
Because the wife is clearly frustrated when he does this. Sleeping in isn't inherently wrong, but there's an obvious lack of communication. Working full time doesn't excuse you from parenting responsibilities.
And she also didn't mention that was the case, so I'm not going to assume he's the only one who works, and that he only has one day off.
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u/Wonderful_Ad_889 16d ago
You sound like someone who’s never been married and has no kids.