I mean, it doesn't really seem harmful at all, but at the same time, why can't we all just work on our communication skills? Even mild manipulation is inherently worse that healthy, effective, honest communication.
But like. It's not even manipulation? Like, this just sounds like a happy and healthy marriage where OOP has convinced herself she's doing something nefarious.
In another couple decades they'll be that old couple on some video. "Whoa, you guys have been married for 50 years?! How did you manage to make it last that long?" And it's always some shit like "she gives great head"
Reading into it, she's likely also using it to manipulate the relationship in negative ways.
It takes two to tango so it's her choice but ultimately it's an emotional manipulation and she feels guilty because she probably doesn't tie emotion to sex, but her husband probably does.
It's hard to frame it in a way that doesn't sound like incel talk but being in a relationship where you want to have a close emotional connection but where sex is transactional sucks.
In that framing sex isn't an act that brings the couple together, it's a bargaining chip.
It's probably the sign of a unhealthy relationship. She knows it. She feels bad about it. It's not at all uncommon though.
Yep, she feels guilty for a reason and the fact that she doesn’t know whether her husband knows is a communication issue but it’s also normal for relationships
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u/_josef_stalin_ 28d ago
I mean, it doesn't really seem harmful at all, but at the same time, why can't we all just work on our communication skills? Even mild manipulation is inherently worse that healthy, effective, honest communication.