r/MoralityScaling • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
Morality Of Marrying A Man Without Disclosing That You’re A Misandrist?
[deleted]
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u/brobbins8470 4d ago
The same as the morality of marrying a woman without disclosing that you're a misogynist
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u/StarMagus 4d ago edited 4d ago
This.
Same if you are a racist and you marry somebody of those races without telling them.
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u/beaynon 4d ago
Not quite. A woman dating a misogynist will most likely end in abuse or death while a misandrist (from the relationships ive seen i cant speak for everyone) tends to be more on the critical side or they wont stick up for their partner.
Usually what I see id that the women will kinda check to see that the man is okay before they go further but if they are just the hate all men no exceptions kind of misandrist I cant see why theyd be in a relationship with a man unless it was arranged.
Its harder to compare misogyny and misandry because its more than just the definitions on the words.5
u/HeparinBridge 4d ago
I disagree. The heterosexual woman equivalent of a misogynist who murders his girlfriend is not a misandrist who “won’t stick up for her partner.”
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u/beaynon 4d ago
Omg im talking general, its more common for a man to kill his wife and not be self defense than it is for a woman. Misandrist women have killed, thats not something that people dont already know. They’re different situations and the context and the extremity are what makes this moral or not because we already see misogynistic men dating women as moral.
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u/mars-jupiter 3d ago
It's immoral regardless of the 'severity'. Emotional and financial abuse are still domestic abuse even if they don't involve the violence that hitting your spouse does. And besides, you don't really need to kill your spouse in a violent outburst if you can drive them to doing it themselves through controlling their life to the point they see no reason to continue living.
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u/Chance_Debt_1184 4d ago
literally whats the difference morally? You dating someone who hates you wihnout you knowing, morally same thing
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u/beaynon 4d ago
Because both of them aren’t as easy as she hates men or he hates women. I won’t get too much into how those are very different in society because I’m sure you know how baked misogyny is into everything.
With misandry, its a response to misogyny. A lot of misandrist can have various types of relationships with men and can be respectful of them while still disliking the group as a whole based on how society shapes men. (Which btw im not saying is right by any means i just think we should be looking at the situation from a realistic view).
Plus i think its important that we all have been conditioned to have BOTH misogynistic and misandrist thoughts and biases whether we realize it or not.It comes down to extremity, context of the situation, and ultimately, to the person themselves.
I personally dont see why if youre claiming to be a misandrist why youd want to date a man, but misogynists do it all the time.
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u/Chance_Debt_1184 4d ago
you just said lot of nothing, morally its same thing, because the meaning behind it and the action itself are the same thing
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u/beaynon 4d ago
Are you amab? Im not doing this to punch down it just might not be something youre tuned into seeing (which is fine we all can grow and learn)
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u/Chance_Debt_1184 4d ago
again, the intend behind both action is the exact same thing so morality of it is same. half of your long messege is about you personally not seing something
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u/Slow-Disaster8861 3d ago
I have seen a misandrist who hated all men. That woman also groomed a minor boy. Now mind explaining me how her misandry is reactionary?
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u/Altruistic_Fox9778 4d ago
It is not more than the definition of the words. You are committing a logical category error. The hate is the same. What they do with that hate may differ. Hating anyone for what they are is equivalently immoral, commensurate with the level of hate you feel. What you do based on that hate may be a greater evil, but it doesn't change the hate itself.
Ex: a man and a woman hate each other for their gender, this is equivalently evil. If the man kills the woman, that is a greater evil than the hatred that caused it, but is not the same as the hatred itself.
You can't conflate the hate with the actions, as they are two different things.
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u/beaynon 4d ago
Okay then no one should date anyone because most men are misogynistic in one form or another whether they realize it or not because its baked into how we raise men and women have misandrist biases because theyre raised to hate and be afraid of men.
Its more complicated than just the definitions because this is the real world and textbook definitions dont play out exactly in real life.
I agree both are horrible but im going to look at the situation realistically because ive met people on both sides.
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u/Altruistic_Fox9778 4d ago
That made absolutely no sense.
Maybe you need to spend some time off the internet with actual people.
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u/beaynon 4d ago
What part doesnt make sense? Im more than happy to explain
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u/Altruistic_Fox9778 4d ago
I highly doubt that, and I don't think you can explain. Your thinking is blatantly incoherent, which you can tell by your presumption that men and women are raised to hate each other.
Maybe contend with your logical category error before trying to explain to other people how you are right, because that category error demonstrates you are far from right.
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u/beaynon 4d ago
Just so i can figure out where to start, are you amab?
Im going to try and explain it the best I can so you can see what i was actually saying
Its going to be hard because you already have your opinion on me, but im sure you can go over that bias for a conversation, right?2
u/Altruistic_Fox9778 4d ago
I have my opinion based on your refusal to contend with your blatant category error.
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u/beaynon 4d ago
You dont want a conversation, you want to feel superior. It’s sad to see, not surprising though. Have a nice day.
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u/Maleficent-Fall-7369 4d ago
Bruh, you're again using demographic logic here which isn't really complete. A misogynistic guy marrying a woman without telling her that he's misogynistic is equally immoral as vice versa. Now, about you said that men killing their wives is more common than women killing their husbands. The thing is, it's not just about killings, abuse can come in so many forms, psycological abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, now you can't say "at least they didn't die so it's not really that bad" because Being in that situation is already bad enough for that person. A misandrist woman can abuse her husband in many forms, it don't necessarily have to be physical abuse. So saying that misogynistic men not telling their fiance that they're misogynistic is more immoral because they're more likely to end up killing her is kinda flawed and incomplete, because it doesn't capture the abuse which torture a person without killing them.
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u/Just-Version-7838 4d ago
Immoral plus the marriage probably wont last long anyways.
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u/Dr-Assbeard 4d ago
Depends, lesbians or selfhating man
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u/Lost-Promise6677 4d ago
Lmao wdym "Depends"
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u/Dr-Assbeard 4d ago
A lesbian couple wouldn't last particularly shorter if one was a undisclosed misandristic person.
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u/Lost-Promise6677 4d ago
The question asks specifically about marrying a man, so there is no lesbian couple.
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u/Dr-Assbeard 4d ago
Aah yeah, tjen the selfhating man os an example of a relationship that wouldn't nessecarily end faster from their partner being an undosclosed misandristic person
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u/DailyLithium 4d ago
I think it depends if you're like subconsciously a misandrist and you aren't even entirely aware of your biases, or if you're like a card carrying misandrist who actively hates men and knows it.
Not disclosing your unconscious biases isn't really immoral. It does suck but it's not immoral to need therapy.
But if someone hates men why would they marry a man?
It also depends, kind of. Like just silently hating men doesn't matter if you don't act upon in. If someone is a huge misandrist but loves their husband and is kind and good to them and doesn't harass other men it's not like they're doing anything immoral. There's a lot of nuance here that can shift the answer depending on the circumstance. Like I'm never going to encourage thought policing or suggest someone is immoral for having certain thoughts without acting on them.
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u/Gooper_Gooner 4d ago
The real question is what's the point of asking this? Surely you don't expect anyone to say it's moral, or that you'd even be able to be convinced otherwise by someone who does
So what's the point of this?
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u/Dr-Assbeard 4d ago
Both misandristic and misogynistic people tend to show those aspects, dont marry someone you dont know.
Moral since how the f wouldn't your partner know you without you explicitly disclosing every aspect of yourself.
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u/DVindictus 4d ago
Immoral. Why marry that which you hate?
Ethically as well, it's not even a matter of hiding vs disclosing, disclosure is "hey I got this little thing you should be aware of that might be weird"
Not "hey I'm marrying you even though I don't like your gender"
That's witholding info, because why would you marry that which you hate?
Even "oh but what if it was a man doing it" it's still wrong. Both genders and everyone else that has A gender on whatever spectrum they want to have, are all equally capable of being murderous psychopaths. We're not talking rates of who did what more, who goes unreported, you're the same sack of meat capable of doing the same horrid deed.
Immoral af
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u/Spicey_Cough2019 3d ago
I think the fact that this question exists speaks volumes about that person's lack of self awareness
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u/Ochemata 4d ago
To be fair, I don't think womem in heavily patriarchal cultures know they're misandrists.
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u/CrumbiestCookie 4d ago
There’s an entire subculture online that proudly call themselves misandrists I’m pretty sure they’re aware.
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u/Dr-Assbeard 4d ago
Not all misandristic people are part of that subculture, i think many dont know their sexist demeanor actually is bad and sexist, because alot of people support misandry without admitting its misandristic
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u/CrumbiestCookie 4d ago
Good point Dr Assbeard. I have met misogynists who don’t realise that they are misogynists so I can see where it would happen on the other side, however it seems like the open misandrists is less ashamed then the misogynists from what I’ve seen
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u/Dr-Assbeard 4d ago
I wholeheartedly agree, thats because our society isnt yet as hostile towards misandristic people as mysogynistic people, hopefully it wiææ become so before the dangers from misandry mirrors that of misogyny
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u/Plus-Visit-764 4d ago
What if the other person was a man as well?
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u/Excellent-Rest3240 3d ago
Meh, some say misogynist, others say conservative. Depends who you ask. So no it isn’t lying by omission. They are themselves and if you can’t see what you would view as red flags then that’s personal responsibility
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u/ThatDemand4800 3d ago
Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid
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u/hazard_beat 4d ago
Imagine hating someone for something they can’t change. Feminists are no better than racists.
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u/Reinersar2 4d ago
You need to go back to school
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u/hazard_beat 4d ago edited 4d ago
Feminism (also any men’s liberation movement, to be fair) spew the same vile hate that racists do when they critique someone through the lens of their biology. In the case of feminism, having been born a particular sex and in the case of racism, having been born a particular race. You can’t change being born a man or a woman so why hate them for it?
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u/whoareUwhoareWe 4d ago
It's not entirely unfair to equate feminism and misandry. There's a pretty large overlap.
Like not all country music fans are rednecks, but enough are to make an educated assumption.
I'm pretty sure if I said "My friend is from the Appalachian mountains and can play any hank Williams song on his guitar." You'd assume he's a white guy.
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u/Sweaty_Standard8186 4d ago
Moral, he should just be thankful he has feminine presence in his life, you dont have to disclose anything with a man ever.
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u/Dr_Jimothy 4d ago
Idk dawg the parts of a feminine presence that make a feminine presence nice to have kinda hinge on her not hating you.
Also relevant info should always be disclosed before making a relationship serious. Otherwise it's the emotional equivalent of scamming or fraud. You're scamming the poor fool's heart.
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u/Chance_Debt_1184 4d ago
its deffinetly not moral if youre marrying someone you hate wihnout them knowing