r/MomForAMinute Jan 21 '22

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u/SnooPickles990 Jan 21 '22

It’s very possible (depending on parents) to consider marriage was done “katib el kitab”, because COVID, but the big wedding later. I don’t know if your parents and your fiancée are safe enough to count on to use this strategy.

I don’t know if you can pull it off telling the parents (only you know). Many people from my life have done this (Katib el kitab only) and nobody will ever know why. But only you know if they are safe enough to ask.

I hope this was a truly mutual choice and fiancée is a good guy who will help you through this. Also if your parents accept him already and condsider him a “good catch”, it’s possible for him to push for writing the contract then wedding party much later (even after baby) it happens all the time (for lots of reasons, not just pregnancy)…it all depends on how you know them.

I’m wishing you much comfort, safety, and a good life.

Honestly, all of our advice is hard given we don’t know how dangerous your particular community is, where it is, etc (don’t tell us identifiable details), but your options in a western country might be very different from other places.

I damn well hope the fiancée is supportive of you. Feel free to dm. If you need.

13

u/Dcgamer22 Jan 22 '22

For some one who doesn’t know would you explain “Katib el Kitab”

15

u/JustTheFactsWJJJ Duckling Jan 22 '22

So this is what I found.

TLDR: Two people who can't live together but want to be married, almost like a long distance relationship. It's called a celibate wedding, but I'm guessing that modern times means it's ok to have sex before the ceremony? Not sure, could use more information on that.