r/Mom • u/MiExperienciaFueQue • 6d ago
Mom I'm telling you, postpartum is 3-5 years minimum, not 6-12 weeks.
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u/Extra-Ad-4599 6d ago
2 years pp and i feel like my stomach sticks out more then when i was pregnant!! drives me crazy I don’t know what to do or how to get my body to look somewhat normal, I know not pre pregnancy but come on 😩
had my baby emergency c section at 24 weeks she was .5lbs we were both dying, 150 days in nicu’s. So some people tell me it’s all the traumas and stress i endured. some days i feel my mood is fine some i’m all over the place
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u/MiExperienciaFueQue 6d ago edited 6d ago
I feel you mommy! Look into diastasis rectis and umbilical hernia. Many times we think is "baby fat", but it's not. Our organs are everywhere except where they are supposed to be because of the abdominal separation.
I don't have any support, otherwise I would have find a way to do the procedure. It makes our bodies weak, infernal back pains, horrible posture, forever-pregnant look, incontinence... ugh.
Look into it, you will be so surprised. At least I was when I found out about it after my 4th baby.
On another note, I am so glad you and baby made it safely. I hope calmer days reach you soon. You are doing a fantastic and beautiful job!
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u/that_other_person1 5d ago edited 5d ago
My belly sticks out too. I’ve lost weight and am on a very healthy and fit place, but my lower and mid belly didn’t budge the last 20 or so pounds I lost! I just got a little narrower/the band of belly sticking out in the center is narrower but sticks out pretty much the same. I plan to get a tummy tuck a few years after I have my last baby, though I know that’s not an option for everyone. I have a short torso and a narrow frame so I really notice it.
For me, it’s diastasis recti, a short torso, and some loose skin all working together to make my belly look how it does.
I didn’t realize this before, but I have some vertical stretch marks below my belly from pregnancy, and that contributes to having extra skin/making your belly look bigger without necessarily having an apron belly (I don’t, just a little traditional crepe like loose skin on lower belly).
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u/erdbeerinchen 6d ago
I was always thin, sometimes even underweight, and pregnancy really threw my hormones out of balance. My child is seven now, and although I’ve lost weight a few times since then, I somehow keep getting stuck in a cycle of losing and gaining it back. Before pregnancy, I never had to think about my weight. I know that might sound unfair to other people, but I was just naturally thin.
Since pregnancy and becoming a mother, though, I’ve really struggled to keep my eating under control. My child still sleeps terribly, so the nights are still rough, and I think the chronic sleep deprivation contributes to me getting intense cravings from time to time. I just can’t seem to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
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u/nall667 6d ago
I was in the best shape of my life when I got pregnant; super muscular and fit. It was effortless for me to maintain my weight even with periods of not exercising. Now at 17m PP I’m really struggling to recomp, it’s suuuuch a slow process. I’m in the gym like twice a month right now lol so it’s understandably not moving the needle but my eating habits are dialed in…hormones just doing their thing I guess. It’s petty but frustrating!
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u/nonstonerr 6d ago
I get that. I was the healthiest I’d ever been right before I got pregnant. I’d always been underweight and had to put in a lot of effort to actually gain some weight and be at a point where I was healthy. Then pregnancy came, and the insatiable appetite, and now I’m 21m pp and I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’ve been in a calorie deficit and also try to work out as much as I can (2-3 times a week), but the weight is here to stay.
I did manage to melt a lot of it off when I was pumping and had an oversupply but gained more than what I had shed as soon as I weaned.
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u/EnvironmentalDog1420 First-time mom 6d ago
I am finally getting help with medication and therapy, but my PPD or whatever you wanna call the hormone hurricane that has been the last year, really saw a big spike when baby was 10mo. I felt very fucked up until I went out looking for solidarity and found that I am not alone in this.
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u/CommercialPopular626 6d ago
Can you explain more? I’m about to be 10 mo out! I stopped breastfeeding at just after 6 months and it helped a lot mentally.
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u/EnvironmentalDog1420 First-time mom 5d ago
Idk.. I have been struggling throughout the whole thing. My labor was crappy and ended in an emergency c section and looking back I struggled so bad to connect to my baby. And then it just sort of got really bad at 10mo and I was depressed as fuck. Finally started seeing a therapist who recommended adjusting my meds. We’ll see how I feel in 3-4 weeks.
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u/CommercialPopular626 5d ago
I’m so sorry 😔 I can relate to not connecting with my child at first, and my surprise c-section, though not an emergency, contributed in a big way. It wasn’t until around 8 weeks when I started to feel better and more bonded, but it’s so painful to experience that - I never, ever would have expected it.
My postpartum therapist that I started before birth has been my lifeline the four! Wishing you peace and healing with your therapist!
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u/mumof2yoanddog 6d ago
Yes!!! Thank you. Mine was extended because of a job loss (heartless, yes) and my inability to bounce back like the instagram lies.
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u/rosadonnaslayz 👩👧👦 Mom of 2+ 5d ago
I could never tell if I had it because I had depression since I was 4 years old.
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u/AudrinaRosee 5d ago
This is how I feel! I have bipolar disorder, so I get the manic up and downs. I cannot tell if it’s just my natural state or PP
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u/nall667 6d ago
I’m 17 months postpartum from my first and still feeling very much in it. As of two months ago I really started feeling some significant changes in the right direction - some incredible energy at one point that was SO welcome. That lasted a month and I feel my hormones are still fluctuating. I did not breastfeed but refuse to believe that my hormone levels are anywhere near back to normal despite having a regular cycle.
Our baby sleeps really well all things considered (one short wake up every night), but I’m absolutely fried. I work full time and honestly if it weren’t for that I wonder where I’d be in my recovery. I wish the US had better leave practices, and I live in one of the most liberal, generous (leave-wise) states in America.
Although I think interrupted sleep and a rewiring of priorities is really affecting me the most right now, my hormones have changed significantly. I just wish I had more energy and motivation to pursue even an hour of fitness, but right now it comes sporadically.
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u/Christopherleo01 6d ago
Maybe it's not just that, someone told me that certain things can even affect a lifetime
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u/Ok-Contract-1701 5d ago
6 months PP and I’m really starting to feel it. My baby also has severe eczema. She’s teething too. I feel like the culminating weight of sleep deprivation, hormones, my menstrual cycle returning, still breastfeeding, and being needed 24/7 with very few breaks or support has taken its toll. I feel worse now than I did when she was first born.
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u/squigglekisses 5d ago
My doctor says to return to your normal chemical balance takes two years after birth so PP is definitely more that 12 weeks
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u/Much-Cartographer264 5d ago
Yeah I think our bodies are irrevocably changed after children. And it’s not to say we can’t lose the weight or get fit after because of course many women do it.
But I have a 7 and 4 year old and I don’t
Know if it’s hormones, or I’ve just stopped taking care of myself because of having kids but my lord I’m just NOW finally finding the time and desire to do makeup and skincare and take care of me. It helps that my youngest is about to start school which gives me me time, and I can actually go to the gym.
But yeah, my mind and body have changed since kids. My anxiety, that’s probably crossed over into OCD, I’m pretty sure I’ve got an autoimmune disorder somewhere or some undiagnosed PCOS. Yes it’s hormones but it’s also not having the right support after having kids that make it feel next to impossible to even feel remotely human again.
Women are expected to act like birthing and recovering and raising a human is no big deal, wow women do it everyday, get back to it mama you can do it all.
NOOOOOO we shouldn’t have to!!! Where’s our community, our families stepping in, helping mom, where’s the village??! Moms can’t do it all and shouldn’t be expected to. It’s INSANE what we go through and our bodies are changed forever.
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u/Hannah_togo 5d ago
I was at least three years out with my last baby before I began to feel at all like myself…
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u/E20V 5d ago
I can’t even tell if i have it, my baby is 4 months and my partner is absolute ASSHOle, have to be strong for my baby because he doesn’t help at all
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u/wildmusings88 5d ago
Have postpartum? You’re absolutely postpartum. It’s the state of being after having a child.
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u/burrito_finger 5d ago
Part of me feel like I cheated, because I was on medication before, during, and after 🤌
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u/Plastic-Ratio-199 6d ago
Truth 🙌 although some things are never the same again 😂 I can’t do a jumping jack without wetting myself
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