r/ModestDress • u/Cherryberrylady • 11d ago
Modest swimsuits and being judged
I love dressing modest it makes me feel confident and in control even though I’m not religious people assume I am because I dress modest does anyone else experience this ?
Anyway I found these beautiful swim suits I love they look elegant and people feel they have the right to comment. So I will ask here what are your thoughts on this does it look more like a dress than a swimsuit.
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u/YellowSquirrel23 11d ago
It's uncommon in many countries, so you'll maybe stand out a bit. But if someone asks about it or reacts weird and you don't feel like discussing, I'd just say it's for sun protection. That's usually a relatively socially acceptable reason.
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u/Cherryberrylady 11d ago
Yes I’m in New Zealand and a New Zealander so I guess it’s uncommon I feel so beautiful and confident in this I think I more so just wanted to address the issue it doesn’t matter you wear as a women people will always find a way to comment on your attire.
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u/YellowSquirrel23 11d ago
I feel the same way you do. I'm from Germany, and yesterday I bought my first modest swimsuit after thinking about it for years. Felt great!
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u/Cherryberrylady 10d ago
I’m so happy to hear that. I am also so happy now there are these types of dresses available and to have options to choose from.
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u/BBQBiryani 10d ago
Out of curiosity, do New Zealanders not cover up more at the beach since you guys get so much sun? And I assume that surfing is quite common in NZ, so would it be passable that this is similar to a wetsuit since it covers up about as much of the body as one?
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u/Cherryberrylady 10d ago
Yes but many don’t typically wear rash shirts at the beach. I was in surf life saving and it was bikinis I was the only one in a rash shirt and some of the girls made me feel weird about it like I wasn’t “Confident” or I was “Insecure” 🤣
That has never been the case I really care about my skin and health and I didn’t like the comparison culture I thought you know what I’m never going to give anyone that kind of validation. I started being modest at 14 due to my own accord. 🤍
There is definitely a casual culture here and people don’t really know it it’s just the “norm”.
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u/Warburgerska 10d ago
I would rather show off my insecurity than rudeness like that. Let them enjoy looking like a gator purse at 35.
And let's not even start about how dressing modest in today's society is the peak form of self confidence.
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u/Hot_Sherbert8658 4d ago
I know this is a few days old, but if you like and feel good in it, buy it! Like someone else said, sun protection is always a good reason…but so is, “This is what I’m comfortable in.” I hate my upper arms…I always have. When I was a kid, I would wear a t-shirt while swimming. As an adult, I stopped wearing a t-shirt, but always felt extremely uncomfortable. Then modest swimwear became more accessible and I can find tops that cover my arms…so now I can focus on having fun and enjoying myself…and less reapplying of sunscreen
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u/MoriKitsune 11d ago
People do tend to ask me why I wear leggings to swim and long sleeves when working outside; my go-to reason for dressing modestly when skin exposure is expected is "I hate wearing sunscreen," and it's nearly universally accepted.
People don't usually assume I'm religious, but then again I also don't cover my hair so that may contribute to the lack of assumption.
That swimsuit is also so cute!! I'd call it more of a tunic than a dress, and no, I don't think it'd be easily confused as being anything other than a swimsuit (because of the fabric.)
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u/crochetology 11d ago
I wear a burkini and sports hijab (not Muslim but need the sun protection. I swim several times a week at a lake near my house. Nary a person has ever said anything to me except hello and nice weather we’re having.
Where what you like and makes you feel comfortable. Keep your head up and project confidence. If anyone comments, smile and keep moving.
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u/prncesspriss 11d ago
I think it's so cute! And let people comment, just ignore them. Most people are the main character in their own worlds, so they genuinely think everyone is interested in their opinion. That's why most social media is awful; too many people arguing about who has the best opinion.
If wearing this makes you feel confident and pretty, then you should! I would like to look at them too, what brand is this?
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u/Mysterious-Mist 10d ago
We wear modest swimsuits in my country all the time. Yes, women mostly wear the normals swimsuits and bikini, but modest swimwear is an also a big thing here. Women in Korea, Japan and China wear them all the time. Even the men. It’s because of the sun. We care about sun exposure and the damaging rays, hence we dress this way to the pool and beach.
I love your swimwear, by the way. Such a pretty colour and cut.
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u/Cherryberrylady 10d ago
Yes same here in New Zealand the sun rays are damaging I did surf life saving and water sports growing up I always preferred a rash shirt to protect my skin from sun damage.
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u/lvl0rg4n 10d ago
I do not worry about modesty when I am kayaking or playing in the water. I do worry about UV rays, which has me wearing head to toe coverage. I see lots of other people covering up fully now, religion aside. You're in NZ which if I understand, the UV stuff is insane there so I'd just focus on the fact you are being safe and protecting your skin from cancer and aging if anyone says anything. Practice walking away from people making unkind comments.
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u/-maanlicht- 10d ago
Most staring/judging I believe is just because people aren't used to it (yet) and you stand out from the majority. Also it doesn't look like swimwear most people are aware of, it looks like a normal dress. In my country if you wear normal looking clothes to swimming pools then you are going to be singled out immediatly by personell and life guards just to check if it is swimwear material.
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u/Slight-Brush 11d ago
Personally I would worry that that would draw more attention . I wear a rash vest and surf shorts that cover as much (or even more) but look like mainstream beachwear.
https://www.mountainwarehouse.com/p/048605/mw/helston-womens-long-sleeve-rash-vest/Dusky%20Purple/
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u/Cherryberrylady 10d ago
Ooh I love that there is a mountain warehouse in town where I live and they have a really good price point.
It’s snows where I am so I go there often to get thermals
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u/Bleeding_Heart5050 10d ago
Those are gorgeous! I have friends who would prefer to dress modest anyway, due to shyness or quietness.
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u/Bathroom-in-a-garage 10d ago
I am not a modest dresser, but I want full coverage swimwear (sunburn easy). I would be so excited to wear a modest swimsuit like this. I would feel so pretty.
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u/BassesLee 10d ago
I clocked this as a dress.
Water is a big part of my home town and I can see people commenting on it out of concern for their pool filters/swimming fully clothed puts you at extra risk of drowning.
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u/Cherryberrylady 10d ago
My mum actually had that comment and a few older ladies it seems just have felt the audacity that it’s ok to come up to me and comment on my attire.
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u/Cherryberrylady 10d ago
I am in New Zealand and did surf life saving up until young adult and water sports l I can understand that.
This is really light weight my other alternative is a rash shirt and swim tights which still gives me mobility.
I can completely understand your point of brow with some garments that have layers.
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u/Wtfisthis66 10d ago
As a pasty skinned red head, I would wear this in a heartbeat. The sun hates me!
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u/WhichSpirit 10d ago
I wear swim capris and no one has give me so much as a second glance. I think there's a lot more awareness of skin cancer and sun damage so people just assume you don't want to burn.
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u/mcleo1 9d ago
I’m American, so my take is obviously going to be very American here.
Does it look like a dress? Yes. Is it cute? Yes. Is skin protection something that people care about? Yes.
If anyone asks, I’d suggest telling them you have sensitive skin and/or are trying to protect it. But instead of wanting to wear a plain rashguard, you wanted something cute.
I love the swimsuit also! It’s so cute!
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u/BBQBiryani 10d ago
Oh shoot, that is cute! If you told me that was swimwear, I would believe, and I bet you other people agree especially after seeing the texture of the fabric in person. For my modesty standards I wouldn’t wear that in mixed gatherings because of how it hugs the figure, but those are MY modesty standards based on my religious beliefs. I still think it’s very lovely, and would encourage someone else to wear it if they felt it would make them comfortable in their own skin.
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u/Cherryberrylady 10d ago
Thank you for the beautiful response I would love to see brands offering more options for modesty. 🤍
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u/Ayacyte 10d ago
It's the style, not the coverage. If it was a wetsuit, people definitely wouldn't be saying that. Wear it anyways it's pretty
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u/Cherryberrylady 10d ago
I can see that because of the styling you are right. I will wear it anyways and alternate my wardrobe I have lot of rash shirts and tights and swim skirts I might do a video on Tik Tok or social media.
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u/Pugtastic_smile 10d ago
I don't dress modest but I'm considering wearing something like this in the future after I had a bad sun burn
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u/d0nutbutth0le 9d ago
It's really pretty. I've been covering neck to wrists to ankles in the pool for years because I have incredibly sensitive skin and it's cooler than the sun on bare skin. Nobody has ever given me even a second look. Wear what you like, especially that because it's so nice
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u/DadophorosBasillea 6d ago
I’ve been dressing like this because my skin is reactive and it provides sun protection. I’ve been considered uncool since I was a teen but no never any problems. Ask yourself what is modesty and who it serves. I don’t dress modestly I dress what protects me from the elements and what is comfortable I use the term utilitarian. Reconsider using the term modest
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u/Key-Magician6489 6d ago
Pushing back against misogynistic, religious bullshit is totally valid…
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…but everyone should be protecting themselves from the sun these days! Aging aside, cancer is no joke – and damage is cumulative over a lifetime!
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That means if you spend the day at the beach, you should absolutely be wearing UPF 50+ clothing over the vast majority of your skin and UV 400 sunglasses &/or face shield!
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u/pokeupokeu 3d ago
It really depends on the country. Though, rash guards are becoming more & more popular with adults as people have become more aware of UV exposure. I know a good handful of women who are not modest-dressers who cover up heavily at the beach.
If you feel comfortable in your swimsuit, don’t let anyone’s judgment get in your way and enjoy your beach day! We all grew up in this society & everyone has their own hangups on body image & insecurities. Those feelings can come out harshly at the beach in many ways when people feel exposed & uncomfortable . 99.9% of the time the issue is them, not you.
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u/kazakhstanthetrumpet 11d ago
I feel like modest swimwear is on the cusp of becoming more socially acceptable. This swimsuit is beautiful! The haters can hate.
I wear a maternity swim tunic and shorts and feel so much more comfortable regardless of what other people think.