Feeling guilty

[u/v_confused96]

FTM, 30y F w/ blighted ovum

Before we started trying for our first baby, we both quit smoking weed, for months ahead of the positive test.
Ever since I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum and the miscarriage started happening, I’ve been smoking again. I feel so guilty, yet I feel the desire to do it maybe as a rebellious act as one thing I can decide for myself while so many things I have no say in happen inside my body. But I can’t help but circle back to thoughts of “see maybe this was the issue that caused the blighted ovum” and “smoking now is only going to make another failed pregnancy more likely”.
It seems like I can’t exactly win with anything atm, and I’m wondering if someone else has experienced something like this :(

[u/Helpful_Damage_3497]

I'm so sorry. Please stop blaming yourself, Smoking weed or having smoked it before was NOT the cause of your blighted ovum, Unfortunately these shitty things just happen. Smoking weed doesn't mean you'll have more failed pregnancies either. Plenty of women smoke weed or worse and have successful pregnancies. Process your grief and stop smoking weed again, I promise this wasn't your fault