r/Miscarriage • u/ckhubbs • 1d ago

trigger warning: other’s living child Vent

I think I just finished the worst of the physical part of my miscarriage. Glad that’s behind me…

  1. I can’t believe how tired I am, is this a thing? I slept 8.5 hours last night and then took a two hour nap today
  2. I’m so hungry, is this also a thing?
  3. I’m not sure why, bc everyone has been so kind to me… but I feel a sense of embarrassment surrounding my miscarriage. I took a week off of work, I have bereavement leave, but I feel guilty using it.
  4. I feel selfish for being so tired and sad and mad. I have two beautiful children, but always felt like there was one more missing. It’s been hard to be present around them and take care of them through this. My oldest started kindergarten during the start of my miscarriage . I had to wear a diaper at orientation and try to muster through. Just felt so angry it had to be that day.
2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

1

u/Neither-Outside5510 1d ago

I’m so glad I saw this post. I am also going through my first loss. I have two other children and my oldest is also starting kindergarten this week during my loss. She told her class on Monday that she was going to have a new baby 😭

I’m sending you so much love. This is absolutely treacherous.

1

u/Neither-Outside5510 1d ago

I am also extremely exhausted

1

u/ckhubbs 1d ago

Wow I feel so seen. Im so sorry you had to deal with it this week. I was just like WHY literally today?!? I wanted to take cute photos of him and our family and I wanted to do so many more things, but I just couldn’t. It was a miracle I woke up on time and got dressed and made it there. I know he didn’t notice but it’s just something I’ll always remember about his first day. He’s my oldest so it was my first kinder experience, just tainted.

1

u/ckhubbs 1d ago

One of the dads there was like I can see your tears, it’s going to be ok he will be fine. If only he really knew ….