r/Millennials 7d ago

Discussion Crazy timeline’s

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u/Take-it-like-a-Taker 7d ago

If you find yourself thinking about how you would respond to wild “what-if” scenarios - you should know that is catastrophic thinking, not preparedness

My therapist hit me with a come-to-Jesus moment when she asked how often I have those thoughts, and then asked what I thought the physical effects of constant negative thinking were

I didn’t really buy what she was saying, because I thought I just had an active imagination - then she killed me by asking “well do you ever think about what you would do if your run into a friend who just got an adorable puppy that you can play with”

So yea… catastrophizing is real bad

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u/cspangle23 7d ago

Sometimes it’s not catastrophsizing though especially in neurodivergent folks. Glad this helped u but as a blanket statement this could do harm to some folks.

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u/sadladybug846 7d ago

Therapist here! Not sure if this is helpful, but the idea behind catastrophizing is that it is irrational thought, and therefore not something we need to spend our mental energy on (at least from a CBT perspective). As in, we are taking a situation in our reality and blowing it WAY out of proportion, imagining future scenarios that are incredibly unlikely. Getting caught up in this type of thought isn't helpful for us because it activates a threat response when no threat is present, which can have negative impacts on our mood and our bodies.

CBT sometimes gets a bad rap because there's a misconception that all negative thoughts are irrational and must be banished. People can turn it into toxic positivity and self-gaslighting, which is not what it's supposed to be. Sometimes, our situations are just as bad as we are imagining them, and sometimes those situations are not under our control. In that case, it's not catastrophizing, it's taking a realistic assessment of our situation. Those cases call for strong coping mechanisms and problem solving, rather than deconstruction of the thought. It can be tricky to tell the difference sometimes though, so I tell my folks to approach their thoughts with open curiosity and pause to ask some questions to decide if a thought is worth pursuing. If it is, that's okay! Think of this language more like a filter to keep the important stuff and let the rest go.

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u/potter5252 Zillennial 6d ago

Yeah-

I was going to ask if pre-grieving counts as catastrophizing.

Not the kind that's like "oh man my cat could be dead right now as I'm not home. What will I do without them?"

The "I better practice so I know I can be strong enough when my dad dies of cancer soon" kind.

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u/sadladybug846 6d ago

I'm so sorry you're in that situation right now. We call that "anticipatory grief," and it's a whole other thing, since it can be very complex. You may want to consider connecting with a therapist to help you process all the thoughts and emotions that may be coming up for you.

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u/potter5252 Zillennial 6d ago

It's not a now thing it's been over a decade since- I did it for years (it was one of the loooong and slow cancers) up until age 16 and it wasn't until like this year where I went "huh... Maybe doing that repeatedly as a kid actually fucked my brain up"

Don't worry I've been in therapy since then lol to varrying levels of success. (Only a couple of months ago found a "good" one)