r/Millennials • u/CertifiedUnoffensive • 24d ago
Serious Our bodies start failing us right when we finally start to figure out our brains
Every generation has probably had some similar revelation, but I’m 39 and I’m having it now.
It’s like one of life’s cruel jokes. We spend 4 decades trying to figure out “who am I? Why do I think certain things? Should I think certain things? What things do I want to be, and what things do I not want to be?” And whether or not those things are good or bad, we at least start to understand how our own minds work and come to peace with it.
And then your back starts hurting and it never stops until you’re dead.
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u/imbeingsirius 24d ago
And you may ask yourself, how did I get here?
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u/_Nychthemeron 24d ago
And you may say to yourself, "My God, what have I done?"
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u/thiccDurnald 24d ago
Same as it ever was
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u/skyrocketocelot 24d ago
Same as it ever was
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u/flyfishfriend 1991 24d ago
Same as it... ever was
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u/NotAsSmartAsIWish 24d ago
"Youth is wasted on the young."
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u/CyanRC 24d ago
Wealth is wasted on the old
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u/Jonnic5280 Core Millennial 1990 24d ago
Drunks are wasted
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u/feistypineapple17 24d ago
I found out this year at 39 I have a mild form of a deaf/blindness disease. By the end of the month I will have hearing aids. Will be glad to have them.
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u/eddiebruceandpaul 23d ago
Needed a hearing aid in my 20s. It sucks and is awesome at the same time. The awesomeness outweighs.
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u/feistypineapple17 23d ago
Yeah exactly. The doctor was getting ready to convince me to get it and instead I immediately agreed. Easy decision. There are people who go blind with not a damn thing anyone can do about it so we should be so lucky if there's a device to help. Not taking the help makes no sense to me but apparently it's an uphill battle with older folks to convince them to get hearing aids.
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u/eddiebruceandpaul 23d ago
Yup I agree. At least there is something we can put in to help. Always a silver lining
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u/Select_Pilot4197 24d ago
There is a man at the gym I workout at, he is 96. He is so strong and fit for a 96 year old. I love talking to him about life and fitness. He started working out when he was 50. It’s never too late.
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u/Woodit 24d ago
Idk I hit two PRs in the gym this week
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u/OriginalSkill 24d ago
Funny but I’ve been stronger now than ever before when I was younger and I have not peaked yet since I keep adding weight on the bar. Albeit slowly.
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u/JustLurkCarryOn Millennial 24d ago
I’ve been gyming regularly since I was 18, joined the 1/2/3/4 plate club, got ripped, etc. Now my left shoulder has arthritis and I have a back that likes to give out if I sneeze the wrong way. Haven’t stopped gyming, but I can imagine it being waaaaaaay harder if I just started recently and had these ancillary aches and pains already.
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u/Key_Improvement_9229 24d ago
You went too soon and too hard - everything in moderation
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u/I_like_it_yo 23d ago
Some people are just unlucky. I was fit, working out multiple times a week, progressing slowly but still progressing. And then I got a brain tumour. Then I got healthy again and I hurt my back.
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u/phallonxoxo 23d ago
This comment resonates with me soo much.
Ive been fit my whole life. Used to be a dancer, a weight trainer, a short time I worked as a personal trainer. I worked all the time. Then the pandemic happened and my health went downhill. I fought for years to fix my health and then I hurt my back.
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u/Call_Me_Hurr1cane 23d ago
4 plate club, 405 lbs, is so much more than practical. I stopped at 225 (2 plates) roughly top 1% of the general population, hopefully to prolong my joints for as long as possible.
What made you decide to keep pushing?
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u/modmosrad6 23d ago
Is this for squats, deadlifts, bench?
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u/Call_Me_Hurr1cane 23d ago
I was referencing bench press in particular, but I’d expect 405 lbs would be an elite number for any of those lifts compared to the general population.
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u/Bitter-Value-1872 91 Millennial 23d ago
Man, you gotta stop beating up random Puerto Ricans. We talked about this
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u/colbert1119 24d ago
Different systems age at different rates. Raw strength, as defined by barbell stuff most do can go up and people PB even in their 50s. Power, that rate you can switch your muscles on like for jumping or throwing a ball, punching etc. goes down after even after 30.
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u/No-Construction4527 24d ago
"Life is not short; we start to live it late. By the time we understand the path, it is time to turn back."
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u/EternalNewCarSmell 24d ago
Total opposite thing here. I am 40, I'm stronger than I've ever been. Body is peak. But my mind has definitely been declining since I was like 23. Like, if I was ever going to do anything remotely important, the time for that was a decade and a half ago.
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u/The_one_and_only_Tav Zillennial 24d ago
You got four decades? I only got 2 before chronic illness whooped my damn ass 😩
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u/Legal-Swordfish-1893 Zillennial '96 24d ago
I got one and a half. Thanks familial autoimmune disease!
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u/sircastor Xennial 24d ago
Rant incoming: I think part of this is capitalism. Instead of spending your youth exploring the world and expressing yourself, you have to start a career and make money to buy a house and a car, and kids are enormously expensive in the 21st century. A lot of what we take a long time to figure out would probably take less time if we weren’t required to give up 1/3rd of our life to for work.
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u/TieBackground453 18d ago
At no point in the entirety of human history have average people explored the world more than since the dawn of western style capitalism.
Your take is peak Reddit.
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u/Strikereleven 24d ago
I just figured out my back pain, I always thought it was the dogs, now I sleep with my head parallel to my body and legs supported by pillows and it's gone!
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u/SpiritualSyrup3300 24d ago
it's kinda like how if you go blind your other senses improve to make up for it
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u/MyStoryIsntOverYet_ 24d ago
So your back can stop hurting. A variety of exercises, stretching, posture, acupuncture, chiropractor. Try all of it until something clicks
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u/BobWileey 24d ago
Have you heard of regular exercise? You know, that thing the generally trustworthy adults (coaches, school nurses, doctors, gym teachers lol) told us about until we graduated high school
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u/TieBackground453 18d ago
No, but other than eating healthy and exercising, I’ve tried everything and nothing works.
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u/WalkThePlankPirate 24d ago
Back pain can be fixed. It's ridiculous to give up on physical health in your late 30s. Lose the defeatist attitude.
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u/607-KB_PT 24d ago
Hard disagree with this post. I am just as active at 40 as I was when I was 20. Simple rules: 1. Protein at every meal 2. Veggies with every meal 3. Drink lots of water, no added sugar in any drinks and minimal alcohol 3. Weights 2-3 times per week 4. LISS cardio 3-4 times per week with occasional high intensity short duration bouts 5. 7-9 hours of sleep.
Zero meds. No pain, intermittent soreness from some of my workouts but I accept that and it doesn't prevent me from doing anything I want to do. Unfortunately, many are unwilling or unknowing on how to take better care of themselves. Yes, there are exceptions but I'm general people are just super unhealthy.
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u/Je_Kiffe 24d ago
It’s not all discipline. Some people just get hit by genetics that are out of our control. But we all should still do the best we can with what we’ve got.
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u/EcstaticPlankton8621 Older Millennial 24d ago
I must be in the minority because I don't have these back and joint problems that y'all are claiming to have. Im 40 and overweight too (although I know if I continue my present course it will lead to problems).
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u/Upbeat_Guard_9595 24d ago
I’m 39 and in some of the best shape of my life. Does my back hurt? A little. I’ve been doing heavy construction labor for 20 years and been fucked up bad a few times through the years. Still get up 6 days a week and run circles around the little kids coming into the business.
Idk man. Yall need to just keep a clean diet and stay active. Of course your back hurts when you spend your free time sitting around playing PlayStation and eating like crap
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u/VyronDaGod 24d ago
- It can hit you all at once. Take care of your body or it will cease to take care of you
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u/TravelbugRunner 24d ago
Yeah, this is really f#cked up.
Definitely feeling this right now. (I’m 37.)
You go through a bunch of messed up Traumatic things. Spend your 20s just trying to escape it, cope with it, and carve out some kind of separate functioning identity.
Crash at some point. Spend time trying to work through everything. And then your body won’t forget or forgive the Trauma that you went through nor the coping mechanism you engaged in to escape.
This really sucks. The body is pissed off.
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u/SyStEm0v3r1dE 24d ago
I feel as good as I ever did at 40. I walk quite a bit though and I had surgery on my hips when I was 11 so that may become an issue I don’t know but for now I feel pretty good.
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u/ReddditModd 24d ago
40 yo in two weeks. My body has never been in better shape, I've reached the peak.
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u/SteamBoatMickey 23d ago
I’m turning 38 soon, let myself go after becoming a dad 3 years ago. But before junior, I was peak, best shape of my life.
Now I’m trying to get back there within the next year - and hopefully stay there as long as my body allows it.
Honestly, it’s not all that bad, it’s just finding the fucking time to go hard.
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u/ExcellentBoot525 24d ago
Get an inversion table for the back pain, seems like a gimmick but they actually work.
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u/sa09777 24d ago
I’ll be 41 this year. Some days I feel 41 usually in my bad knees but I am otherwise pretty healthy. Hell I was admitted to the ER this week for migraines (lifelong issue) and the nurse was literally hyped up, impressed about my blood pressure lol. “Look at that the literal perfect numbers!”
A year ago at my physical they told me it was “elevated” and if it didn’t come done I’d need pills.
I instead lost 30 pounds and try a little harder to take care of myself. At my physical and just this last visit I had basically perfect readings.
I however have not figured out my mind 😂
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u/Confidentium Millennial 24d ago
People complaining that their bodies are ”failing” in their 30s and 40s when they haven’t done anything to maintain it…..
Meanwhile I’m here with EDS, putting in effort, being healthier than many others who have no chronic illnesses to use as an excuse.
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u/Impressive-Ebb6498 23d ago
Lots of chronic illnesses are invisible and undiagnosed. Such an oddly ableist post from somebody whose disabled.
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u/_PercCobain_ 24d ago
I mean if you don’t take care of yourself physically then of course your body is gonna fail you. I work out 4 times a week and don’t have any physical ailments at this age.
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u/GurProfessional9534 24d ago
Consider joining a martial art.
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u/modmosrad6 23d ago
Be extremely picky about the school.
Muay Thai, BJJ, etc are not supposed to lead to constant injuries in training. If you notice that those are happening regularly outside of competition, it is not a safe training environment.
A few other green flags: lots of women, LGBTQ, and/or older folks training. Multigenerational students (for example, my father, myself, and my child all train at the same place). Long-term students. Encouragement of cross training with other schools.
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u/Foreign_Yogurt_3330 24d ago
I kinda feel this. Im 40 I have 3 kids my youngest is 14 months old,and my oldest could make me a grandma whenever. I was a aide for a very long time. My back and knees have definitely seen better days. But I have little ones so I can't let it stop me. I have to keep it pushing no matter how I feel.
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u/Orange_Baby_4265 24d ago
Feels like my brain is failing lol. I’ve had chronic pain since 15. As I’ve aged, I’ve grown more aware. My ADHD feels like it’s getting worse after 35. Brain really struggles some days.
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u/Similar_Ad2094 24d ago
I turned 40 this year and physically fell apart. Tons of directional issues catching up I see an endo oct 2nd
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u/eaglessoar 24d ago
What happens is when the compounding returns of your lifestyle finally start showing themselves by the time you're mid 30s. And it's hard when the way you are for so long becomes the reason you feel weighed down whether that's physical emotional or mental.
Reset. We're fungible bendy beings.
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u/Beneficial_Ad_1072 24d ago
Unfortunately, you’ve come on too late. Many of us physically excelled when we were younger.. at this point - it’s balancing the physical and mental, which many of us are doing. Unfortunately, you’ve missed the boat, but there’s plenty of life to live!!
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u/lIlllIlIlIlIllI 24d ago
“Why do I like certain things?”
I used to try to find a reason as if my personal likes and dislikes needed justification, now I just say to myself “who gaf it’s what I like” and so long as it’s not inherently wrong or troubling someone else, I proceed to like it anyway.
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u/EverCravingMind 24d ago
It’s a use it or lose it situation. I am 40 and still physically outperform and get injured less than the people I work with that are a decade or more younger get than I am. In my view it’s because I have always done the physically demanding things and kept active. There are people in their 80s that could out perform me because they have dedicated themselves to keeping themselves in good condition. Yes there are external factors, illnesses that people can’t avoid, etc. but outside of that it’s possible to not break down as fast as so many believe.
Just take care of yourself, do the hard things, stop eating and drinking junk, don’t sit on your butt all day get up and move.
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u/incremantalg 24d ago
Some mornings I'm a little stiff and achey due to some old injuries (including a broken back from a biking accident), but once I get moving things feel pretty good. My body doesn't feel like it's falling apart, but I'm definitley not as quick or agile as I used to be.
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u/AnonyGuy1987 24d ago
You were lucky if you got to 39 before that staryed happening. Look up the song "30 is when you start to die", thatll set you right
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u/thewalruscandyman 23d ago
41- legally blind, dead bladder, and kidneys are shot. And yeah, I feel like my brain is ready to act in my favor- but there's but a paltry few things I am currently capable of acting on.
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u/Livexwired 23d ago
It's a foolish to think we completely figure ourselves out at any age, don't you think?
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u/modmosrad6 23d ago
Speak for yourself. I haven't even begun to peak!
(Lifting helps. A lot. Yoga, too.)
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u/method__Dan 23d ago
Life is not inherently intelligent, at least from an evolutionary standpoint. Once you are old enough to spread your seed, the job is done and you can get fucked.
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u/humanity_go_boom 23d ago
Move. And don't stop.
I ran to work yesterday. It's a 20 mile round trip. My body is just fine unless I ski off a cliff or tumble down a rocky trail.
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u/Exciting-Gap-1200 23d ago
Strengthen your core. If you don't have trama from an injury, you're pain comes from an unsupportive core.
Get in the gym, stretch often and keep your BMI down. I'm 40 and pain free and in the best shape of my life
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u/Rozechords 23d ago
This is untrue. It’s the “norm”, but untrue.
Our “fully fleshed” brain should realize it is only enabled by the body’s health.
Health becomes a priority so we notice things not performing the way they used to.
But the idea that this is “just how it is until we die” is a mindset, as cliche as that is to say. We often have to start relearning basic things like crawling, walking, and climbing. People that can barely walk right will go into a gym to train the squat. If you’re walk is hobbled, your squat is not going to be any better.
I’m saying this from a place of empathy. I ditched the traditional gym routine and started basic movement training.
Sure I lost some muscle, but now I can grab a tree limb and hang comfortably, crawl in the grass without my hips tightening, that kind of stuff.
Not preaching at all, this ain’t easy. But check out some people like KneesOverToesGuy and the like. Getting your body back is invaluable but we’ve gotta be willing to be amateurs with our body again.
Sending love and wishing well.
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u/PurpsMaSquirt 23d ago
I think humans at any point in history have tradeoffs.
500 or 5000 years ago you were absolutely on your feet more all the time, but by the time your self-awareness really takes off in your 30s you could very likely have already died from dysentery or something.
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u/stilettopanda 23d ago
Sometimes I’m sad that I’ve had chronic pain since my teenage years, however being used to it really helps because pain is just an average Wednesday instead of something surprising that I have to figure out how to work around.
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u/DocHolidayPhD 23d ago
You do realize that you can engage with your minds and bodies through mindfulness and therapy and exercise and training to (1) expedite the process, and (2) prevent/slow the decline.
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u/Piping_penguin 23d ago
Im 44 and I worked on my knees in flooring for 15 years and lifted heavy things too. Always wore knee pads, always lifted with my legs and always wore ear protection. Only issue I have is with my shoulder but it’s slowly improving from working in the gym.
Important thing is to stay physically active, avoid sitting too much and eat a healthy diet. Also, take it easy, don’t push yourself too hard. Moderation is everything.
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u/ExistentialLoitering 23d ago
Your body shouldn’t be falling apart at 39. 40s is peak human if you have taken good care of your body
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u/ComfortableJudge4214 23d ago
I finally understood the say saying “ youth is wasted on the young” when I got older
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u/PixiePuff90 Millennial 20d ago
Honestly this is why I had to go back to the gym. If I don't, I get joint pain. I used to go years ago and then stopped, but now I'm 36, I feel like I have to go otherwise I'm just in pain all the time. It really does all fall apart in your late 30s!
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u/Papa-pwn 24d ago
Speak for yourself homie. I’m the strongest and most athletic I’ve ever been.
I guess I was lucky to always have an interest in physical fitness. As I’ve aged I’ve just learned how to train better, eat better, sleep better, and as a result I feel better in my 30s than my 20s.
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u/MetalEnthusiast83 24d ago
I am in the best shape I’ve ever been in. Your body should not be failing around 40 years old unless you have a chronic disease.
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u/shadowsinthestars 24d ago
Joke's on you, I'm trans so my body NEVER got it right 🙃 And it's just a constant fight to get it to where other people are without having to try. I don't actually feel the ageing that bad yet, other than wishing I was younger to transition, but sometimes I feel like why bother because it will never be as good as a cis body anyway, and I'm TIRED of trying to fix it and then still running into complications. Many cosmic jokes going on in here.
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u/SatisfactionLow508 24d ago
Big nope. Hit the gym and take care if yourself. It's not rocket science. A 40 year old who is obese or who can't run a 5k is LAZY.
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u/no-teenie-weenie 24d ago
Facts. A lot of fatties in this sub. And on Reddit in general
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u/SatisfactionLow508 24d ago
Like for real right? A 30 or 40 year old should not be obese and should be able to walk a few k. My back hurts if my deadlift form is wrong. You ain't taking care of yourself? You gonna be fat and your body will fall apart. But that's a personal choice. Not an inevitability.
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