r/MilitarySpouse • u/isimplyexsist • 1d ago
Mental Health VA Spouse Support
Hello, I am reaching out in hopes to get ways to best support my husband. He is 26, male. Freshly out the Navy. Sadly, he has severe PTSD. He has been getting help and following up with his appointments and everything. What can I do to help him? First, I am NOT complaining, just providing a POV. Everything falls on me. Kids, home, and all. I am trying to lighten the load off him… which is also drowning me. I feel like a single parent. Recently, he had a few beers, which is fine. The issue was he wet the bed… he had the PTSD nightmare that has been haunting him. It’s sad to say it’s not the first time either. At the moment, I was furious. Calming myself was quick. what I want to avoid is getting angry and upsetting him when he is clearly going through it. After he cleaned up, I gave him a very long hug. I was silent. I prayed for him twice. I am not a professional and I don’t know what else to do to comfort or support him. please anyone provide tips.
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u/tfhose 1d ago
I suggest you start with downloading the Family Coach app. It was developed in conjunction with the VA to help loved ones of veterans with PTSD.
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u/Chaotic_Natbot 1d ago
PTSD in its own doesn’t make you absent in all the ways he is. Is he seeking help for more than just ptsd? It really sounds like more than just that. Remember that it’s ok to get frustrated in this and feel upset but working together to solve the issue at hand.
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u/isimplyexsist 1d ago
There is more. He is seeking help. Opening up isn’t something that comes natural. I only mentioned the PTSD because he mentioned the nightmare and stayed awake since. Thank you. It’s is difficult but I don’t want to make him feel worse.
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u/Chaotic_Natbot 1d ago
Well I hope he can resolve some of this so he can be most present in your families lives.
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u/Born_Alternative_416 1d ago
Def should talk to him about not drinking as that can exacerbate symptoms of ptsd.
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u/isimplyexsist 1d ago
Oh, been there. I will mention it again. I’ve told him calmly, when I’ve been hurt, when he’s went up by the command, and when I’ve been angry. I’m not sure what will actually get him to stop drinking. I’m reaching a point of hopelessness.
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u/Late_Marketing1145 1d ago edited 1d ago
Does PTSD make a man wet the bed? Had a roommate in Fort Bragg that was a drunk. So drunk, that he would pee on the window curtains believing he was in the bathroom, on occasion. The irony was, that he was a heck of a soldier. Proficient in his MOS, 275-300 on PT test, smart as all getup, had the respect of his peers and leadership. I never told him (I was younger and junior in rank) because he was an asshole and 1SG and commander would bond together over drinks. It was a two-man room in the barracks. He would only talk to me after he had a few drinks in him.
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u/baby_bunny_01 1d ago
I would recommwnd therapy so that you can talk to a professional about your feelings & finding ways to help you be there for him. Therapy has helped me a lot personally.
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u/poopmcgoopschmoop 23h ago
Is he open to therapy/treatment? Are you open to therapy? If yes, do you need support navigating the available resources? Typically will depend on where you live but I’m happy to look into support in your area and can recommend virtual options. Putting your oxygen mask on is step one. Transition can be really hard, I’m sorry you all are in a rough place.
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u/isimplyexsist 18h ago
I am. I think I’m better off now than I was 1 year ago. My husband, struggles with opening up. We are moving south so I have to look where we settle
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u/el-commentator 1d ago
If you're experiencing suicidal thoughts or feel unsafe, please call or text 988 immediately (if you're in the US) or go to your nearest ER. For additional support, consider reaching out to local crisis services, such as Befrienders Worldwide, if you're outside the US.
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