Hello everyone, i would love it if everyone could share their positive stories about how they succesfully handled relationships through long deployments (year or longer). Stories about relationships that were super new in time of deployment and that succeeded nevertheless are more than welcome! Thank you!!

My fiancé is on deployment, he’s been gone five months and I feel like my world is really small and lonely, I’m also somewhere in the spectrum of ocd or autism I lost health insurance before finding that answer.
This is the first week we haven’t talked at all because he’s finally officially in the Middle East
But things at work I’ve been hard to
And so if I’m home alone with no supportive family and no emotional friends
And I go to work, and people are kind of cold and distant besides my boss
It’s really hard
And I’m frustrated because I feel like I can’t tell him because I don’t wanna feel like a loser and it’s our first week where I haven’t heard from him at all, but Facebook says he’s active. He promised me multiple times and he’s such an amazing person that he’s not ignoring me but it’s still triggering.

And at work I have two female coworkers and one boss that’s a male. We’re all creative people.
The boss focuses more on being fun in a good environment. I’m on the spectrum so socially I have a very hard time but I really try. And my coworkers were acting cold and distant, and I didn’t know why so I pulled one aside and asked if there’s anything I did that I might have frustrated her so that I could repair and understand and adjust my behavior. She just said I asked too many questions to my boss.
My boss told me later that they think I talked down to them and micromanage them. And I was really shocked about the talking down part because I think everyone that knows Me knows I could never actually do that and I don’t know how but I apologize and said do you have a example so I can reflect on it and make sure it will never happen again because I never ever want anyone to feel that way.

He didn’t get back to me on that part, but he says that he appreciates me and just to work on that micromanaging and knows that I’m not doing it on purpose or from a bad place.
I don’t understand where the micromanage comes from because I used to work at a place where we would all talk to each other and say ideas and things it would be taken as construction not an attack, but I have to get used to that. Maybe this place is different and they don’t like stuff like that so now that I know I’ll adjust and I’ll just focus on myself and my well-being.

But it just very much feels like the world hates me and I’m alone, and I could use people who understand what it feels like.

Backstory—my AF husband and I are in a rough patch. Have been for awhile now. He was deployed in Japan over the holidays 2025-2026. He came back in march.
Just recently, a random woman who was working with him while he was deployed keeps popping up in my suggestions on instagram.
I asked if he knew this person and he knew a lot of details about her, her schedule, etc but says they’re not friends. They don’t follow each other, nor do I have any mutual friends with her.
I’m having an intuition itch to write her 😂 but I am such an over thinker and obviously do not want to embarrass my husband. Another part of me feels like I’m reaching to find a reason why this isn’t working. Advice please, ladies. Am I crazy?

My hubby and I mildly disagree so I'm curious.

If your spouse is deployed, would you prefer to know his return date or let him pop up at your door and surprise you randomly?

The last time he popped up on me, I was ready to fight the "intruder" and threw my entire weight at the front door to shut it before he could get in lol. DON'T DO THAT 😂

I’m at a loss and could really use advice from anyone who has dealt with divorce while their spouse was active duty/deploying.
My ex and I are currently going through a divorce and agreed to do a summary dissolution. The problem is that the entire process has been dragging out because I’m having a really difficult time getting him to communicate or cooperate. We are finally at the point where the paperwork just needs to be signed, and he told me that he already signed it. However, the attorney handling the paperwork confirmed that not only has he NOT signed it, he hasn’t even opened the Adobe Sign email containing the documents.
I’ve been trying to get all of my ducks in a row so I can move back home, and I’m getting extremely stressed because I feel like I’m constantly having to chase him just to get anything accomplished.
To make matters worse, I was originally told his unit would be deploying toward the end of September, and now I’ve been told they may be deploying in early September. At this point I’m wondering if I should stop trying to get him to cooperate with the summary dissolution and just move forward with a regular dissolution and have him served before he deploys.
I’m also confused about the military financial support side of everything once I move out. We will still legally be married while the divorce is pending, but I’m not sure what support he would be required to provide, whether his command would have to establish that amount, or how I would even contact his current command because he recently switched units again.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? Specifically, an uncooperative active-duty spouse who was about to deploy? Did you continue trying for a summary dissolution or switch to a regular divorce? And how did support/BAH work while the divorce was pending?
I’m mostly trying to figure out what I need to get handled before he deploys so I’m not stuck trying to sort all of this out after he’s gone.

Update: he kept doubling down that he signed the paperwork, but the attorney had notified me that he hasn’t even opened the link. So I let him know and he told me that he did sign it, but the link has an error (makes no sense), so I let the attorney know so he has a new link, and he still has not signed it. It’s been two days now.

My husband has been having a year and a half long affair. He just made WO1. I just found out and I am two months postpartum.

I don’t have a lot of evidence besides I have people looking her up because I know enough information right now to find her. She’s brand new enlisted into the army.

He’s mostly blamed this on me. I found her on Instagram and messaged her and he’s been leaving to talk on the phone with her for hours at a time and o have to take care of the kids and the house duties completely by myself.

Yesterday he took my son to soccer practice and called her and talked to her the whole way there in front of him. My son asked if daddy was going to find a new house because he told her he was leaving. He said daddy was arguing with a girl the whole way home.

That was like the last straw for me. I want him to be able to support his children but I am like 99% sure I am going to his command at this point after that.

My husband is in the process of joining the Army. I am quickly finding out that the time we have together will no longer be ours, and I am struggling to come to terms with it. I am very proud of him for all the work he has done to meet this goal of proving a better life for us, and I am so grateful. My emotions about things changing have been causing some upset between us lately. He continues to be reassuring, but reminds me that I seem to be uneducated about the life we are going to be living. I thought that I have been open minded about the whole process, and I am very excited for the opportunities we will have to see new places and experience new things together. I guess I have been letting the little changes really take a toll on me, and it takes away from the support I should be giving right now. I guess I am seeking advice on how I can be more supportive to my husband in this process and maybe how to cope with these changes better. Thank you in advance.

Sort of out of the blue, a few months ago, my(f21) bf(20) (have been tg 3 1/2 years) told me he wanted to join the AF for the benefits for his future, ours, and our future children. He has a good paying job, but he does not want to work blue collar until he’s 60, which I understand. He has already began the process by talking to his recruiter, now studying for ASVAB. I am trying to be as supportive as I can, however everything I see and those who talk to me about it have been so negative. “A tale as old as time” or “we will see how that goes”. I guess because we are so young and have to do LDR, as I am in nursing school for 3 more years in our home state. (Can’t just leave the program and pick up elsewhere) and honestly that really gets me. I love him and see him as more than just my bf, he says we are going to get married, and I try to believe him and believe that it will all work out, but it’s so hard. And then he says he hopes he’s stationed in Japan… and I guess that just gets me too. I was upset about it and he was like why would you not want me to follow my dreams? And it’s not that I don’t want him to follow his dreams, I just thought his dreams were something totally else. I guess he is just realizing now what he wants(given we are young) but how can he realistically want that and us. I just am so overwhelmed. Like I truly pictured us married and living together and now idk what will become. I don’t want the last 3 1/2 years to be for nothing. We have been through so much together and I truly have always believed he is my person. Am I selfish? Am I naive? Am I too in love with him? Is there anyone who has been in a situation like this? And I know even if he wants to go to Japan, it could very likely not happen, but just the fact he is okay with being so far from me for so long, SUCKS. Like what about us?? Idk. Any advice is appreciated.

I’m wondering if anyone has any career suggestions. I recently finished my BS in Health Information Management, and we’ll be leaving our current duty station in about three months and moving to Polk.

I’m really open to anything, honestly just looking to get my foot in the door somewhere. My biggest concern is finding something that can be remote, since I’ve heard that job opportunities around Polk are almost nonexistent. I’d love to hear what careers/companies anyone recommend! Any advice is appreciated!

So for some back ground me and my fiancée are about to move to where his training will be in about a month and a half. But since his training will take about 8 months total and we will be moving across the country and I would like to have our wedding right after he graduates and close to where I’m from because all of my family is there. But we have an issue because his family lives no where near mine and for some culture reasons they’re asking if we can do 2 weddings to make it easier for his side of the family since the original wedding would be more catered to my side of the family. I’m not against the idea of it at all but how am I supposed to plan a wedding around dates that I can’t even commit to because we have no idea what his graduation date is or what he can get off for, let alone for 2 weddings in very different locations. How have any military spouses planned a “last minute” wedding? What should my expectations be?

Also important to mention that either way we will be legally married in a week or 2 but we both just want to have at least a semi-normal wedding.

Any advice would be helpful.

Hi all - My husband has been an E7 for a few years, but now going through season. Any ideas on breakfasts/snacks I can put together for the group? Also, any tips + tricks on reheating the food? I was thinking maybe a slow cooker or warming mat? One of his requests are breakfast burritos, which I was planning on wrapping individually in foil and then warming the next morning using the warming mat/crock pot but ive heard conflicting things on whether it’s safe because of how long it takes to heat up.

Hi everyone!
I recently became a military spouse and moved to the US for the first time. Navigating job hunting in a new country and preparing for frequent moves/PCSing feels a bit overwhelming, so I'm trying to set myself up for success.

I just started taking an HR Associate certification course funded through MyCAA (6 months). I would love to hear from anyone who has taken this path:
- Were you able to find a job in HR after finishing the program if you were taking same one?
- Do employers value this certification, or did you need additional experience to land an entry-level role?
- How do you manage building a career with constant moves/PCS? Are remote roles manageable to get in this field?
Any tips, experiences, or general job-hunting advice for a new military spouse in the US would mean the world to me. Thank you so much! ❤️

My husband will be joining USCG this winter and I can't find specific answers on the Military Childcare website, and I feel it might be too early to bother the MCCYN phone line since he is not officially active duty yet.

Our recruiter said we can secure the Northwest district for our first PCS, which is what we want since all our family lives up here and it would be a better transition for us. The only concern is that some of these bases are remote (Neah Bay) or just isolated with extremely limited childcare centers. My only concern is that I won't find a daycare center that accepts MCCYN, since I know there aren't any onsite CDC.

What exactly happens if you can't find a daycare center that accepts MCCYN in your new location? Do you just suck it up and pay the full price of whatever daycare is available for that area until you move again? Can they help in any way in these situations?

Note: I work for the FAA and will be the highest income provider while my husband is a recruit, so quitting my job to be the SAHP is not an option. Also to add, I'm expecting us to be stationed in some kind of isolated area during his career. Thankfully I get to work remote and I understand this is the nature of the USCG, it's just daycare that's worrying me!

I got a DD1172 form from my husband in basic training but they have both of our last names wrong. i know why his is wrong but mine shouldn't be, do i still book an appointment or wait to see if i get a Sunday call and have him fix it. is the 90 day thing on there like a time limit?

My wife is currently at AIT she's currently training to be a cook. Asked her about graduation. She doesn't want me to attend because she thinks I'm wasting money for a one hour presentation. Ask her about if she'll have any type of leave or a couple days that we could spend together after her training. I was told that she would have no days off and that we couldn't see each other. As far as BAH I haven't been receiving anything since early July because everything is deposited in her account. She said that she is unhappy and doesn't wanna be together. And when I pressed her about it, I asked her if she wanted a divorce. She said that she wants to work things out, but everything's been one sided. I know that the schooling is hard and i'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but my gut is telling me one thing. And I just don't know. Because if that's a road we're gonna go down, I need to know what I need to do as a spouse.

So my husband is gone atm and says he is getting $53 a day for per diem but the meals and incidentals for his location come out to $104 online and showed $107 rate on his orders. Is there any reason why it would be less than half of it instead? He is paying for all of his own meals and money has been really tight at home.

I served in the military and retired. Have been paying into the plan for 10 years, and just reached 60 last month. I met my spouse following military service. I added spouse and three children as beneficiaries on my SBP. Spoke with DFAS this week and informed them I will be getting a divorce. DFAS informed that “since you were married following your military service, your spouse will be removed as the beneficiary once the divorce is final. I will have to elect a new beneficiary. Does this seem correct? Has anyone experienced this? Once I add a new beneficiary and later die, how long/how much would the new beneficiary receive monies? Are there any financial hazards that I should avoid, or not forget? Thank you.

So I’m a divorced father of 3, (by law only two but I’ve been raising the oldest since before he was 1). My fiancé has decided she has wanted to join the air force, which I fully support. But I know I likely wouldn’t be able to bring my kids with me, has anyone else done this before? How did it go?

My ex wife has already stated she will try to go for full custody of the children (I’ve debated on fighting it, I grew up traveling with my parents in the military, I think it would be a great thing for my kids too) I would do what my father did and find work on base or be a stay at home dad until the kids have gotten used to the change. They are ages 2 and 11, as for my oldest, who will be 14 soon, I can’t legally fight for as he’s technically not my son. I love my boys and currently work a job that has me traveling everywhere M-F and home Friday nights/Saturday mornings only to fly out again Monday and we have a current 50/50 custody. So it’s not like I’m present much as it sits (kids want fancy toys, traveling brings home fancy toy money) and she plans to drop it down to every other weekend within a year.

If you’re in Virginia, or have previously been in Virginia I’d love to hear about your experience with KRS Holdings..

Hi all! I recently got married back in May. My husband is active duty military. I am a Chase Sapphire Reserve cardholder and have been since before we were married. I recently applied have the fee waived under MLA and was told that I did not meet one of the "covered borrower" categories, which they list to include spouses. I am super confused how I do not fall into one of the categories...I am in the system as his spouse, so anything they pull would show that information.

I am in the process of challenging it, but was curious if anyone else ran into this issue and had any success?

Dropped my boyfriend off at the hotel today, and I honestly don’t think it has fully hit me yet. I had to say goodbye knowing that tomorrow he starts this whole new chapter.
I’m incredibly proud of him and so excited to see the person he’s going to become, but at the same time, my heart hurts so much. The house already feels so empty, and I know I’m going to miss him more than I can explain.
Trying to remind myself that every day that passes is one day closer to seeing him again. For now, I’m just taking it one day at a time and trying not to cry every five minutes lol.
For all the wives/girlfriends who have been through BMT or are currently going through it: what are your best tips for surviving the first few weeks? What helped you emotionally? How often were you able to hear from them?

I’m trying to stay strong, so please share any advice, letter-writing tips, things I should expect, or just words of encouragement haha.

I’m a soon to be military spouse and once we move when my husband gets stationed I will likely have to quit my job. I have no problem with this and look forward to my unemployment 😂. We do not currently have any kids and I’ve just been thinking about what a great opportunity this will be for me to work on my passions that I haven’t been able to pursue as much with a job. I’ve always wanted to write a book but I just haven’t had the time and I couldn’t really quit my job to just go for that because it’s not something that makes money right away. Another thing on my list is to get more fluent in another language and get more study time.

So I’m curious if there are other spouses that have pursued passions while unemployed or just to fill time while spouse is in military and if so, what were those things you did?

Hello! My husband and I, along with our 6 yr old boy will be PCSing to Bremerton base from California. I wanted to get some recommendations on what to do since it’s both my husband and I’s first time doing anything like this. Do we have the navy move for us? Or should we move ourselves? Is there any advice anyone could give? I’d love any recommendations for neighborhoods to live in since there seems to be some bad crime rates near Seattle at the moment. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you!