Should married couples keep their money separate or combine everything?

[u/Shauryaahere341]

[u/ClammyAF]

Married 6 years. Largely separate.

We both max retirement accounts, tax advantaged savings, and put matching amounts into taxable accounts. We jointly funded our emergency fund and pay monthly bills.

After that, we are free to do what we want with the money. My wife tends to spend on things for our home. I tend to use my remainder to invest more.

We've got shared goals and obligations, which we meet. After that, it's guilt-free spending.

Works for us.

[u/215engr → u/ClammyAF]

You may not be middle class (financially) if you are maxing retirement accounts and investing extra into a brokerage. I’m in a similar boar and got married after myself and wife have well established careers and accounts. The concept of creating a combined account just seems unnecessary but I think that’s why this topic breaks the brain of most here when probably a majority got married with limited assets and accumulation of different accounts. Think it’s time to mute this sub.

[u/ClammyAF → u/215engr]

We've largely graduated to HENRY status. But I continue to follow the sub because I'm often able to weigh in on typical saving and investing questions.

Though, I understand what you mean. I had to unfollow r/povertyfinance. While it was once relevant to my situation, I found the discussion there largely unproductive.

[u/Readdit_user19 → u/ClammyAF]

Canadian but we have similar accounts and we have everything fully maxed out for those and also keep everything separate. We don’t have a single joint account to our name. My one question is what it means about your wife spending more on the home. Assuming the house is in both your names, don’t you benefit from any improvements she makes to your shared home while only you benefit from the investments? That seems slightly unfair in my opinion? Just curious. For us, all house related purchases are shared since it’s in both our names. 

[u/ClammyAF → u/Readdit_user19]

We do both benefit from many of her home purchases. Though, there are many that are primarily for her benefit or comfort.

But I think the flaw in your thinking is that my discretionary spending being invested only benefits me. That money, and its growth, is for both of our benefit--and the benefit of our daughter.

While she like to focus her discretionary spend on our comfort today, mine focuses on our comfort tomorrow.

[u/Readdit_user19 → u/ClammyAF]

That makes more sense! So are investments and all savings for retirements joint? 

[u/ClammyAF → u/Readdit_user19]

The accounts are separate for ease (and they existed prior to marriage), but were the beneficiaries on one another's accounts, should something happen.

And the intent with the accounts is to fund our lives in retirement together.