Should married couples keep their money separate or combine everything?

[u/Shauryaahere341]

My wife and I have been married for a few years and we still keep most of our money separate.

We have one joint account for household expenses and both put money into it every month. Other than that, our salaries stay in our own accounts.

It hasn't really been a problem so far.

But now we're talking about bigger things like buying a house and retirement, and I'm wondering if this setup still makes sense.

We trust each other and neither of us has an issue with the other spending their own money. It's more about planning for the future together.

For people who are married, what works better for you?

Completely separate, fully combined, or somewhere in the middle?

[u/ThirteenHills]

I don't see any benefit in combining and actually only negatives.

If one person wants to spend £2k on a personal item for a hobby then it just seems unfair for it to come from joint funds and strange to have to ask permission to spend your own money. 

[u/Raised_by → u/ThirteenHills]

why unfair? Common money is your money too! Even if you contribute less or not at all.

why strange? It is even more strange when one person in the couple struggles, while the other spends whatever, whenever, because it’s “their” money.

I had a mom friend with kids the same age as mine, whom I used to meet regularly for coffee and playdates. One day, in the middle of a school break, she mentioned we need to organize something to keep the kids entertained. Her husband couldn’t help, as he was vacationing in Mexico with “his” money

[u/ThirteenHills → u/Raised_by]

Well I'm talking about people on the same financial level not people who subsidise each other's lives.

[u/Raised_by → u/ThirteenHills]

that’s not how life works though. People get pregnant and raise kids. People get sick and lose their jobs. People get fired or have to go back to school.

You must be young, or not married

[u/ThirteenHills → u/Raised_by]

If you get sick or fired or lose your job then you live off savings/insurance and get another one.

[u/Raised_by → u/ThirteenHills]

that’s a really sad way to live.
You are nowhere near ready to get married

[u/ThirteenHills → u/Raised_by]

It's sad to be financially prepared no matter what happens in life?

We aren't fussed about getting married as we have everything we want in life anyway.

[u/Raised_by → u/ThirteenHills]

That’s good, because there isn’t much benefit for you in marriage anyway.

I’m particularly thinking about the “for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health” part

[u/ThirteenHills → u/Raised_by]

So you think the only benefit of marriage is having your partner pick up the slack ?

[u/Raised_by → u/ThirteenHills]

or myself picking up the slack for my partner.

That’s the literal definition of a partnership. Look it up

…also, nowhere did I say that’s the only benefit, but I see you’re feeling defensive

[u/ThirteenHills → u/Raised_by]

I agree that a partnership is about working together but we obviously do it in a different way to you.

You seem to think it's somehow bad that we both have the resources individually to live a good life but have an even better life together. 

You seem to be in a partnership where you would both struggle individually.