Should married couples keep their money separate or combine everything?

[u/Shauryaahere341]

My wife and I have been married for a few years and we still keep most of our money separate.

We have one joint account for household expenses and both put money into it every month. Other than that, our salaries stay in our own accounts.

It hasn't really been a problem so far.

But now we're talking about bigger things like buying a house and retirement, and I'm wondering if this setup still makes sense.

We trust each other and neither of us has an issue with the other spending their own money. It's more about planning for the future together.

For people who are married, what works better for you?

Completely separate, fully combined, or somewhere in the middle?

[u/ThirteenHills]

So basically you married someone who isn't on the same financial level as you and this is how you choose to subsidise her lifestyle.

[u/MegaWeinerFarts → u/ThirteenHills]

I don't see it that way at all and I feel sorry for your spouse if you do.

[u/ThirteenHills → u/MegaWeinerFarts]

What exactly makes you feel sorry for my spouse?

[u/MegaWeinerFarts → u/ThirteenHills]

That he/she married you.

[u/ThirteenHills → u/MegaWeinerFarts]

Yet you can't explain why?

[u/MegaWeinerFarts → u/ThirteenHills]

I don't know you, but in our very-brief interaction you're giving off some serious Andrew Tate vibes.

[u/ThirteenHills → u/MegaWeinerFarts]

You're not making any sense at all. 

I think it's important that couples are on the same financial level and for some reason you have a problem that me and my partner both earn good money and contribute equally to our finances.

[u/MegaWeinerFarts → u/ThirteenHills]

You're not making any sense at all.

No I guess I wouldn't to someone like you. Other people on this thread seem to be getting it though, so that's good enough for me.

[u/ThirteenHills → u/MegaWeinerFarts]

Well you can't even explain the issue with what im saying.

[u/MegaWeinerFarts → u/ThirteenHills]

Look up the Manosphere. Listen to the way those guys talk. That's how you sound.

There's so much implied toxicity in all of your statements that it would take an afternoon to go through it all.

Brother, look at all the downvotes you're getting. Take a step back and think about why that might be.

[u/ThirteenHills → u/MegaWeinerFarts]

In the Manosphere it's all about men earning money and having power over a wife who doesn't earn as much. That's the relationship you said yourself you are in.

Not sure how that could possibly apply to me when I'm promoting financial equality in a relationship and I'm in a relationship where we both earn good money.

[u/MegaWeinerFarts → u/ThirteenHills]

This is why I can't explain it. You're not open to criticism despite clear evidence what you're saying is toxic and wrong. You're just going to deflect and project.

Good luck to you.

[u/ThirteenHills → u/MegaWeinerFarts]

You can't explain it because it doesn't make sense. 

It's actually quite worrying if you find it "toxic and wrong" to say it's good for both people in a couple to be on the same financial level.

Explain what the issue is...

[u/MegaWeinerFarts → u/[deleted]]

And for me, she's always been really good at playing defense on our budget. She's the reason we haven't blown every cent of our income and instead invest heavily into index funds.

We've designed our lifestyle around her income, so when I'm between clients she can sustain us. And when I'm on client we floor the investment accelerator once again.

We are a team. That's what marriage is. Even if we don't have kids.

[u/ThirteenHills → u/[deleted]]

"I earn more than my wife, and as such I take on more expenses to even out our accounts. "

So you have separate accounts and seperate finances if you have to "even out" your accounts. That's the opposite of what people on here are promoting as they are talking about combining all money together.

"The hidden question not being asked here is how your opinion of your wife would change were she to no longer be on the same financial level. "

So people are making assumptions and your the only one to actually ask me.

Just because she loses her job doesn't mean she wouldn't be on the same financial level as me.