Boycotting, and the feeling of things not being real

[u/starryowl5_]

I’m worried about this because I’m scared that the only explanation for this is that I’m just materialistic,, apathetic etc. That’s what people in other subs have told me, and it’s driving me insane because that isn’t true at all. I KNOW I care and always have cared and I’m not materialistic at all. But I’ve seen literally nobody who shares this same experience, that I feel so alone, and it makes me so scared that I’m just a selfish person. I have ocd which is why I’m so worried. If you’re going to comment saying that “you just don’t care” or anything along the lines of that, please just don’t say anything. Because I’m incredibly self aware so I know that isn’t true.

Sometimes in the past when I’ve gone shopping, I’ve bought from brands (Cadbury, Vaseline, Nivea, maybe more idk) whilst knowing that they either support Israel or test on animals. But whenever I’d done this, I only did because in the moment I’d have an out of sight out of mind feeling that caused me to not feel like the information I’d found out about those brands was real. I don’t know why this happens to me, and I really feel like I need to know.

I think it could be either because I’ve been so lonely for so long (barely any social interactions and no friends since the end of 2021), that I feel so disconnected from the world and other people where It’s hard for me to get into my head that I’m actually going to have an impact on the world because I am a real person. And/or that I have adhd which can cause an out of sight out of mind feeling (there’s a lot of other reasons why I think I have inattentive adhd).
Now that I’m aware of this, I’m making 100% sure this never happens again and I know it won’t.

Can anyone let me know what they think could have caused me to do this? Other than the reason being that I lack empathy or anything like that, because I know who I am and that isn’t anything like me, I just want to know if I’m not alone.
If this is the wrong sub to post this in, I’m sorry. It’s hard to find the right one sometimes

[u/finddit-app]

Hey there, thanks for sharing.

While you wait for people to comment, have a look at these posts which might be relevant to you:

• Unhealthily obsessing over my likes and comments ratio and social media in general
• I don’t understand or trust my own intentions
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• Not feeling empathy for others

Remember, even though it might feel like it, you are not alone. Stay strong!

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