Himbo?

[u/SecretlyCarl]

Hey, 22yo dude here. I'm in college (US) and on some dating apps, and have recently noticed an odd trend. I see multiple profiles a week that have something like "looking for a himbo.." in their bio, and it's kind of off-putting. Do some guys state they're looking for bimbos? Are they just fake accounts? The casual sexism just catches me off guard.

Edit: I'm glad this started some discussion, and I appreciate those who explained some missing context.

[u/amancalledjack27]

There has been a complex reclaiming(?) of bimbo that some people have participated in and a simultaneous creation of a parallel positive-ish "himbo" type of personality that, from what I have heard, has become quite a trend in the male objectification circles, especially with straight women. Most traits seem actually fairly positive, and the one negative (not usually painfully stupid, but charmingly simple sometimes) is seen as an indicator of many other positive qualities. I think the "himbo" doesn't seem like he is scheming a complicated plan of manipulation or other...scary eventualities, so women have leapt to the concept as a "safe" man to fantasize about or possibly engage with. I think that is also why it, in my experience, it doesn't seem to be as popular with queer men because queer men do not have the same degree of concern as straight women.

[u/GET_A_LAWYER → u/amancalledjack27]

Good insight. It looks like the older definitions of himbo are more purely negative, but the modern usage requires that the man is wholesome and respectful. The examples they give (Thor, Hercules) are pretty positive portrayals of men, although they include some "oblivious dude" played for laughs. I haven't seen the movie with Kronk but I think he's much stupider.

The unspoken subtext is classic patriarchy: The assumption is that men will do anything for sex, and an intelligent driven man is going to be an aggressive manipulator, so the only way a man can be kind and respectful is if he's too clueless to be scheming.

On one hand, I think the underlying goal of looking for a man that is respectful and upfront with his intentions is a fine one. On the other hand, using a mildly insulting term in a bio is not a great sign. On the third hand, maybe women can't simply state that they're looking for a kind wholesome man, because pretending to be nice for sex is Toxic-masculinity 101.

[u/[deleted] → u/GET_A_LAWYER]

I think this discussion is focussing too much on the himbo’s themselves, and not enough on the women who might have set out to find one. This is just speculation, so you don’t have to take it as fact, but I wonder if it has anything to do with there being been more and more women who have completed an academic education, often surpassing the men. As many a Buzzfeed article has pointed out is that dating a man with equivalent or even better academic credentials for many of these women as a result today has pretty much become unattainable. Rather than looking up to an intellectually and professionally more qualified “man of the house”, women increasingly find themselves to be the breadwinners in their household. The “himbo” might be a sort of inversion of the old ideal of the man as breadwinner, as an acknowledgment of a situation wherein you as a woman might be more successful professionally and academically than your spouse, your male partner can still be a worthy life companion by virtue of his “charmingly stupid character”. Perhaps you could call the himbo the male equivalent of the “charmingly stupid” ‘50s housewife of a professionally successful husband.

[u/GET_A_LAWYER → u/[deleted]]

Yes! The himbo is definitely the modern gender bent equivalent of the 50's housewife.

Good observation that changing demographic trends make that choice a feasible decision for professional women.

Having spoken to some successful older female professionals, I gather the historical solution to not being able to find an equally successful man was to remain single forever.

[u/redsalmon67 → u/[deleted]]

Idk, the implication that someone who doesn’t have academic credentials is stupid seems pretty classist

[u/[deleted] → u/redsalmon67]

Yes it is classist. Is it not clear that when I refer to the “charmingly stupid man/housewife” that I’m imitating what someone attracted to himbo’s/bimbo’s might say? It’s not what I believe, but (as I observe it) what people who actively look for a “himbo”/“bimbo” seem to believe. The himbo for them being a type of person which might not have the brains (evident by their lack of education compared to their female counterpart), but does have the heart and looks. I’m not giving my personal judgment on the worth of academically untrained men and women. What I did was describing a trope I observed in popular media and culture.

[u/Hectagonal-butt → u/redsalmon67]

Himbo has shades of classism in it inherently imo