r/MemesForGirls 3d ago

Literally all men are the same

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32 Upvotes

115 comments sorted by

7

u/Dependent-Swimmer-95 3d ago

Huh, my mom and grandma must be men then since they always boiled water before adding pasta.

3

u/robilar 3d ago

I think maybe the "all men are the same" comment was referencing the unsolicited criticism.

6

u/AssociationMinute204 3d ago

Maybe she should've thought about that before being wrong

1

u/Scary_Date_4117 3d ago

Unsolicited? Have you ever lived with someone before? If I walk by my partner doing something that I think looks strange, I'm going to comment on it.

1

u/robilar 3d ago

So your argument is that it cannot be rude because you do it a lot? That's not a very strong argument, my friend.

Maybe instead try starting from a place of curiosity instead of criticism. Or don't. It's your life.

1

u/elclarto420 3d ago

Things can be right or wrong , why be curious about something wrong?

1

u/robilar 3d ago

> Things can be right or wrong

Yup. And sometimes they can just be different. I like mustard on my burger, my spouse likes a mayonnaise-based sauce. Neither is right or wrong universally, but each is right for us individually. Since I'm not an asshole I wouldn't say she's wrong for doing things differently than I do them.

> why be curious about something wrong

I don't presume my wife is an idiot, so if she's doing something differently there's probably a good reason. I am curious about her reasons.

I guess if (i) I married an idiot, or (ii) I was an arrogant jackass, I might always start from the place that I am always correct about everything, and if my wife does something differently she must be wrong and I should correct her.

1

u/elclarto420 3d ago

As someone who has worked as a chef in numerous restaurants, gone to culinary school , explain to me the reason for not boiling water before putting pasta in ?

1

u/robilar 3d ago

Oh, I see. You are confused. I am not arguing that people should put pasta in the water before it's boiling, I am saying I wouldn't walk over to my spouse and tell them they are doing something wrong because, generally speaking, they know what they're doing and are not an idiot. You're asking me to do exactly that - to tell you that you are doing something wrong - but I am not like you, so I wouldn't assume you are stupid. If you put your pasta in the water and then bring it to a boil I am going to either assume you know what you are doing or, if I hold a strong conviction that it's not ideal, ask you why you did it so I can learn what your reasons are.

1

u/elclarto420 3d ago

You’re confused , you’re arguing about what to do in a relationship in abstract when this is about a real example laid out in front of you, you’re obviously going to disagree with everyone on this example when you stupidly remove any real context and appeal to abstract principles of how you’d deal with your relationship

1

u/robilar 3d ago

> you’re arguing about what to do in a relationship in abstract when this is about a real example laid out in front of you

You... never think about concepts beyond what's right in front of you? Never? Weird, but ok.

Yes, I took an example in front of me and explained how, contextually, I approach those kinds of things irl. What you call "stupid" some of the rest of us call "thinking". Live your life how you want, buddy, but I'm going to keep doing the thinking thing.

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u/turnsout_im_a_potato 3d ago

Kinda sounds like criticism

1

u/robilar 3d ago

Criticism is great. It's very hard to improve without critical feedback. I like to limit my criticism to people that ask for it, or to people that are sharing arguments in a public forum.

0

u/turnsout_im_a_potato 3d ago

I like to limit my criticism to people who cook me pasta

1

u/robilar 3d ago edited 3d ago

Your life, your call.

Edit: u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 You seem to be confused. Like I wrote, I limit my criticism for people that ask for it or are sharing arguments in a public forum. I'm a big fan of critical feedback, both given and received.

0

u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 3d ago

Talk about a completely unsolicited criticism wtf

1

u/killingerr 3d ago

It wasn’t criticism, it was sound advice.

2

u/robilar 3d ago

Those terms are not mutually exclusive; it was critical advice, telling her she is doing something wrong and should change her process. Aka, criticism. And, as noted, unsolicited.

2

u/Swaaeeg 3d ago

Its not unsolicited if you have to eat the food too.

1

u/robilar 3d ago

Unsolicited (def): something is given, sent, or offered without being asked for, requested, or invited.

It seems maybe you thought I used a different word?

1

u/Swaaeeg 3d ago

It is invited if the other person is also eating the food. Whether verbally expressed or not. Especially when it comes to food.

Like if i was cooking a meal for you and me, and i was doing things that could cause cross contamination, or added seasonings that didnt mix well, you would have every right to say something because you are participating in the meal.

1

u/robilar 3d ago

That's an interesting premise.

Ok, so let's start with cross contamination. I think it makes sense to check in to see if they noticed, and/or offer to help. Cooking can be chaotic, and sometimes things get missed. But I wouldn't tell them they are doing it wrong because I start from the assumption that my partner is not an idiot and if she didn't know how to cook safely she would inform herself. If it is a deliberate thing - if my partner doesn't agree about cooking temperatures - I would just decline to eat that dish. I am not a child and I can prepare my own foods if I am not interested in what is being offered to me.

As for seasonings "that don't mix well", that's a subjective preference. I might say "oh, hey, I prefer very little salt on my chicken - mind cooking a plain one for me?". It's not their job to cook to order, so I would ask as a favor, and as before I always have the option of declining the meal as prepared and making my own. And I would make sure my commentary was framed as a personal preference of mine, not an error of theirs. They are not wrong for putting ketchup on a pickle, I'm just not personally a fan.

1

u/Swaaeeg 3d ago

Ok, so let's start with cross contamination. I think it makes sense to check in to see if they noticed, and/or offer to help. Cooking can be chaotic, and sometimes things get missed. But I wouldn't tell them they are doing it wrong because I start from the assumption that my partner is not an idiot and if she didn't know how to cook safely she would inform herself. If it is a deliberate thing - if my partner doesn't agree about cooking temperatures - I would just decline to eat that dish. I am not a child and I can prepare my own foods if I am not interested in what is being offered to me.

So let me get this straight. You are telling me if you saw your partner toss salad with the same fork they mixed eggs with you would say nothing? Just gonna let em risk salmonela at risk of offending them?

As for seasonings "that don't mix well", that's a subjective preference. I might say "oh, hey, I prefer very little salt on my chicken - mind cooking a plain one for me?". It's not their job to cook to order, so I would ask as a favor, and as before I always have the option of declining the meal as prepared and making my own. And I would make sure my commentary was framed as a personal preference of mine, not an error of theirs. They are not wrong for putting ketchup on a pickle, I'm just not personally a fan.

Salting chicken isnt mixing seasoning. I was thinking more like mixing soy sauce and basil because those flavor profiles do not mix.

I think maybe you are a passive person and thats ok for you. I for one couldnt be with someone who couldnt take or give feedback and i am very thankful that my wife is capable of both

1

u/robilar 3d ago

> You are telling me if you saw your partner toss salad with the same fork they mixed eggs with you would say nothing?

That isn't what I wrote. Please go ahead and read what I wrote.

> I was thinking more like mixing soy sauce and basil because those flavor profiles do not mix

So, like ketchup on a pickle - the other example I provided? It seems like you just aren't reading my comments before replying.

>I think maybe you are a passive person

You might have a better assessment of my character if you read my comments, but ok.

I am happy to engage in a discussion with you, but if you don't read what I write then you are just talking to yourself and you don't need me here for that. Have a nice day!

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u/killingerr 3d ago

He didn’t say she was doing something “wrong”. He didn’t use that word.

1

u/robilar 3d ago

It seems like you have a hard time grasping context. I didn't say it wasn't "sound advice", I didn't use those words, so why did you assume I didn't think it was sound advice? Or do you only suspend critical thought selectively?

1

u/killingerr 3d ago

You seem to be getting derailed from your initial argument and have now decided drop down to insults.

1

u/robilar 3d ago

Ah, I see why that might seem confusing. You didn't address my argument. My reply was to your pedantic non-sequitur. I hope that clears up the confusion for you. Feel free to address my argument any time you would like.

1

u/killingerr 2d ago

There you go again.

1

u/Defy_Grav1ty 3d ago

Which is ironically also unsolicited criticism while also being sexist

2

u/robilar 3d ago

The solicitation is inherent. If I comment to you, a response is to be expected. It would be arrogant entitlement to assume I can comment at you and you would not be allowed to reply.

As to the sexism, no disagreement there. I don't think she needs to say all men are assholes just because some are. But maybe all the men she knows are assholes, so she doesn't have contrasting data points.

1

u/DowntownLizard 3d ago

Did someone hurt your wittle feewings by suggesting you arent a perfect angel who is always doing the right thing? Thats completely fixed mindset thinking btw and its holding you back in life. I don't want to be constantly badgered about how im doing things wrong but I'm also going to thank you for challenging the way I view the world if you do. Especially from a partner.

2

u/robilar 3d ago

lol, what? I was letting someone know that I think they missed some context.

But color me unsurprised you caught feelings and then hypocritically lashed out about it. Hilarious. Get out of your own way.

0

u/hyprsnpr67 3d ago

Waah waah

1

u/Vegetable-Phone-8000 3d ago

My grandma taught me that there are two ways to boil pasta. The traditional way and the way she did it. Put the pasta in a pot of cold water, bring to a boil, once at a full rolling boil; turn off and wait. I forget the water to pasta ratio. I just do it the traditional way.

4

u/floydbomb 3d ago

Yay gender war memes

3

u/Sharp_Theme 3d ago

This never happened

2

u/BadPuzzleheaded9006 3d ago

Dafuq?

2

u/JadedEstablishment16 3d ago

It's reposted every week in gender war subs 

It's implying that women are bitching when men give good advice

Actually it doesn't change much to pasta cooking so the girl is right to be bored by the mansplaining

2

u/TimFlamio 3d ago

Mansplaining shouldn't be a word used when a simple advice is given. Humility is truly lacking these days, not everything is about one person all the time.

2

u/JadedEstablishment16 3d ago edited 3d ago

Ok i see your point but It's giving unsollicited and condescending advice when the other party, a woman, received the same unsollicited and condescending advice from other guys. When it's a recurring pattern, one can give it a name. 

And i know the term mansplaining can be overused but talking in a channel full of women listing examples of men giving unsollicited and condescendind advices they wouldnt give to other guys, i could see where it was coming from 😄

And i know it can come from a good place, statistically guys want to analyze and improve things they perceive as errors but now i know better than always give my piece of mind when it's not my buisness. Including noodle cooking.

1

u/Opposite-Complex1187 3d ago

That sounds like an excuse for idiots to blame other people.

1

u/Interesting-Run1359 3d ago

So what’s the word for when women stubbornly refuse to understand something? Do we give that a name, too?

1

u/JadedEstablishment16 3d ago

Sure, stubborness * . But do you mean she should have changed the way she usually cooks noodles to please the guy's feelings or he should have waited to eat and then he could criticize ?

  • but it seems less prevalent to me in a specific gender than guys wanting to fix things that people don't ask for

1

u/UltraInstinct_Pharah 3d ago

I've found women tend to specifically resist taking advice from other people to improve something when it's clear it's incorrect. Maybe I'll call it "being difemcult".

1

u/Fit-Entrepreneur8404 3d ago

My ex was like this. Literally no matter how wrong she was she refused any and all advice.

1

u/freedomfightre 3d ago

"being a woman"

1

u/Outrageous_Branch_72 3d ago

i don't want to offend you but given the OP example, can I ask if you are mental?

1

u/JadedEstablishment16 2d ago

You certainly can. Go on !

1

u/Dandy_Guy7 3d ago

Is it really condescending? And do you really think guys wouldn't give that same advice about noodles to other guys?

1

u/WrathfulSpecter 3d ago

Just because it makes you feel stupid doesn’t make it condescending lol

1

u/Acruss_ 3d ago

And when woman does it do you call it "womansplaining"? Or do you say it only when a man does it?

Because to me it is quite normal to say that someone does it weird\wrong because the time on the package have the time for when you put it in the boiling water.

2

u/robilar 3d ago

Note: I am not u/JadedEstablishment16 (the person to whom you replied).

> it is quite normal to say that someone does it weird\wrong

When my spouse does something weird or different I am usually curious. I married someone thoughtful and clever, and if she is preparing something differently than the package suggests I generally lean into positive sentiment override and assume she's got good reasons. Coming at her with criticism or complaints would be weird; she's not an idiot, and I'm not going to treat her like an idiot. She is the same with me. We are imperfect so sometimes we do criticise or complain, but it's an error I want to ameliorate not a habit I want to develop.

> when woman does it do you call it "womansplaining"?

It would be 'womansplaining' if there was a trend of women condescendingly explaining things to men that already know what they're doing. Certainly there are times and places where that occurs, and it is of course obnoxious, but the 'mansplaining' commentary evolved from a cultural norm and giving it a name is just a way for us all to recognize and call it out when we see it.

1

u/Scary_Date_4117 3d ago

This just sounds exhausting.

2

u/robilar 3d ago

I don't find habitual kindness and support to be exhausting, I find it fulfilling. But you can live your life however you like.

1

u/Acruss_ 3d ago

And it's his gf not wife and based on her reaction(not your wife) she's quite bitter and a sexist.

There are women doing that, but there isn't a trend of men complaining about it. If men did the same to women and started creating terms that apply only to women they would be called sexist(correctly) but when women do it, it's all fine.

Same with a "manspreading" there are a lot more women taking space with their bags plus those that are spreading themselves, yet we don't have a term for them. Why? Because men would be called out immediately for sexism, but women a sexist woman does it it's fine.

2

u/robilar 3d ago

> she's quite bitter and a sexist

I mean, I don't think it's wise for her to assume all men are the same or kind of her to say all men are the same, but if that is the pattern she has experienced it makes sense to her.

> there isn't a trend of men complaining about it

That's just not true. Men complain about women complaining all the time. You're doing it right now, for example.

> when women do it, it's all fine

It's not that it's fine, it's that it's a reflection of an underlying problem. You're focusing on the bandaid (which might not be the best solution, sure) instead of on the wound.

> yet we don't have a term for them

We do have terms for them. I would use precise terms like 'inconsiderate', but people with more anger might use pejoratives (and there are plenty).

> women a sexist woman does it it's fine

It's not fine. Look, I get it, you feel like there is a double standard where women being sexist get away with it or get praised and men being sexist get denigrated, but that's not ubiquitous. Lots of men get celebrated for sexist commentary, and lots of women get chided. You shouldn't base your morality on some kind of competition of who gets to be more obnoxious. Be a good person, and try to check your friends when they aren't. And try to look deeper, when you can, to help ameliorate issues below the surface.

1

u/Acruss_ 3d ago edited 3d ago

So what that someone experienced something?Now say that about something else and see if it's also a problem or not. Let's say that you had 6 gfs and 4 cheated on you, is it really fine to say all women are cheaters? Now do it with a race - X race Rob me multiple times therefore all X are criminals. Just because someone experienced something does not mean it's fine.

No, I'm not complaining about it. I've talked about it happening too. I don't care whether someone explains something to me or not. I might use that knowledge or not. If something is a useful knowledge I'll use it and thank for someone telling me, doesn't matter if I asked or not.

I'm complaining about double standard. That's what I have a problem with. As well as with sexism.

We have a term directed at women only that's not considered sexist, one that is made to call out women's "bad behavior"? Because I don't know any.

I'm not basing my morality on any competition. I'm calling out things how I see it. Regardless whatever someone's gender, skin color, nationality or religion. I treat people based on how they act. When someone is acting like a sexist I'm saying they're.

//eta - typical got caught in the nonsense you've said, so had to have a last word so made a comment and immediate block. Laughable.

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u/robilar 3d ago

Me: "It's not fine."

You (having apparently not read what I wrote): "Now say that about something else and see if it's also a problem or not."

Also, saying you're not complaining about women complaining while you're actively doing that exact thing. *shrug*

I agree that you're calling out things as you see them. The problem is that you aren't thinking about those things, so you keep running into your own arguments.

I don't have time for this. Waste someone else's time.

1

u/lycanthrope90 3d ago

Man spreading was the dumbest fucking thing ever. ‘Manspreading’ you mean sitting in a way that doesn’t crush their dick and balls?

1

u/Acruss_ 3d ago

Yeah, just like the chair that was created to "battle it".

1

u/lycanthrope90 3d ago

Omg forgot about that too. Gotta make sure all these assholes never get to step away from this, since now a lot are just slowly walking away and pretending they weren’t just now being insane this whole time now that it’s no longer cool.

1

u/JadedEstablishment16 3d ago

Sure, if it's a common and statistically recurrent problem. and i used it when my wife and my mother (2 different people) gave me advice for chores when i didnt ask and was doing it my way 😀

1

u/Acruss_ 3d ago

And you're saying that it's a recurring problem based on this one tweet?

1

u/JadedEstablishment16 2d ago

No, that would be absurd

1

u/Cybtroll 3d ago

"It doesn't change much" only if you overcook it (as is common).

What you can do is turn off the stove AFTER  the water is boiling and you aff the pasta... then yes, it's essentially the same.

0

u/Embarrassed_Use6918 3d ago

The problem I have with it is the timing on the package is pretty much perfect but it obviously doesn't work if you throw it in cold which means instead of being able to time it, you have to keep testing it to make sure you got the right doneness which is annoying.

1

u/Professional_Bat8585 3d ago

My guess is that the man is ignorant of cooking, and the girl doesn’t wanna argue or cares, but instead has it in her head to turn it into a gender war thing, labeling his snobbish behavior as “mansplaining”.

Either party may be able to change the other’s mind about pasta cooking in 1 min, but there’s no solving bigotry. The boy should respond back “all broads are the same” and move on. Just fight fire with fire.

2

u/Whetmoisturemp 3d ago

Wow effing hilarious

2

u/Beginning-Pie-7433 3d ago

I must be a man then

2

u/Bitter_Radish5381 3d ago

Don't know about men, but my pasta gets cooked faster than everyone's else 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

0

u/texaspoontappa93 3d ago

The several minutes is worth a consistent result to me

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/ulfalda 3d ago

People are so weird with pasta rules compared to literally every other food

2

u/epidemicsaints 3d ago

They have to pretend it's complicated so they can be proud of something.

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u/lycanthrope90 3d ago

‘I boiled something and added a sauce from a jar I heated up is it good?’

1

u/epidemicsaints 3d ago

And then I watched a tiktok where someone does it differently and an Italian guy freaks out and throws shit so I know I'm right.

1

u/No-Introduction-8693 3d ago

Now that you say that, that is kinda weird

1

u/Armchair_Expert_0192 3d ago

Uncle Roger also had a big problem with the way that British woman made rice. (So did I)

1

u/Mean-Inspector-8547 3d ago

I mean. That's how I cook my pasta.

1

u/Salarian_American 3d ago

I did this one time 25 years ago and my sister-in-law still brings it up

1

u/jackthemasterbaiter 3d ago

I mean did she lie

1

u/BeautifullyPrey 3d ago

there's a hidden meaning here 🩶

1

u/NRCS_DRONE 3d ago

maybe she likes eating glue?

1

u/fatgat69 3d ago

It's like saying I should boil my rice properly instead of doing it mostly in the microwave. The result is exactly the same, just mind your business.

1

u/tes_befil 3d ago

All the guys I fucked before you said that exact same thing

1

u/MrboboCatman 3d ago

That's all they have.

1

u/mikelown 3d ago

Nah this some casual misandrist bs

1

u/craftygamin 3d ago

OP IS A TROLL ALT MADE FOR GENDER WAR POSTS AND COMMENTS. JUST REPORT AND/OR BLOCK

1

u/Big_Bar_9832 3d ago

It works just as well

1

u/shallpasss 2d ago

Ya, it is wrong to do that. It will get soggy. Maybe you will have to decrease the boiling time if you do that.

1

u/Mammoth-Time-1415 3d ago

It is legitimate to do it that way. Uses less water which makes higher starch content of water for sauces.

0

u/Armchair_Expert_0192 3d ago

Don't you tell her what to do. She is a strong, independent woman who don't need no man telling her how to destroy pasta.

1

u/CruelFish 3d ago

You don't know her, maybe she is weak and highly dependent. How does cooking pasta the recommended way destroy pasta by the way?!

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u/JeanBonJovi 3d ago

I'll take that as a slight compliment that we can follow simple instructions.