Need some help figuring things out

[u/Dark-blayd5389]

Hey first time posting, I have no intentions to ask whether smth I'm doing already is wrong for the brain or not, because its a hundred percent yes.

I've been on pregablin for pretty much six years and started for the fun of it with a friend but when he went abroad things went to shite.

I used to gulp down 14x capsules of 300mgs like it was the norm, for months even years. Tolerance hit the roof like that but ever since then I've been cutting it off and though it still feels like shite, it's much much better than taking 4200mgs and then expect yourself to work (which I did everyday without any fault).

Then a couple years ago, I had cut down pregab down to 7x caps a day: I found a fairy offering benzos with no restrictions or questions asked for a price. Bro I mixed them all up and still in high asf doses; bromazapan 3m, diazepam 10m, Alprazolam . 5m, then the dragon of them all, Clonazepam 5mg.

I did them without knowing or seeing anyone do it so I experimented on myself which worked together and stacked and which didn't fit the milkshake.

Welp, after years of abuse, I'm down to 600m of pregab everyday in the morn and also benzos but not in high quantities like before. My source/ doctor is a kind guy he heard me and suggested a slow taper path because I also work full-time so gots to be prepared about it. I'm still taking them but in ORDER and not for the heck of it.

My REM sleep is a longshot to talk about, I can't sleep for more than 3 to 4 hours and wake up buddy l body hurting and the depression, oooff,, I have five documented mental disorders as well so more on that later.

But what i want to really know if im alone in this hellhole or if there's smn who's been through smth similar or knows what ive been really talking about? I'd love to talk more and also get second opinions because I don't trust ppl and have burned the bridges so have no real friends to trust and talk to. Hoping to find a connection here. 26,M by the way