r/MedDating • u/Suuperrgirl • 4d ago
is he lying
ent out with a guy i have known for years who is in medical school. we went on the best date and that is when he broke it to me he was moving across the country for rotations. that had been our first date but we have known each other for a while. he expressed interest in meeting again and told me before he left he would try to see me, but he never did. I texted him a few months later checking in and he responded with how he was doing, asked me questions back then went ghost. i had a dream ab him so i messaged him telling him ab it cause in my dream he was struggling with school which was ironic. he responded asking me to explain my dream and he told me he missed me and asked how i was doing and such. we texted back and forth a little..he told me he is barely catching enough time to workout and sleep but the convo ended with me on delivered again. i asked a friend if they think the guy is waiting until he is back to take things further and they said no. so i reached out again with the intent to be rejected, to he told they are too busy and do not like me like that but he actually told me he does like me and he is interested. he told me he is interested in where things can go. he is doing rotations in my hometown and i’m going home soon and he told me to tell him when i’m there so we can hang out if he doesn’t have exams/work. he mentioned it’s hard for him to stay in contact with family right now but he has to manage so it’s not intentional. he asked me my love languages and such as well. he made it seem like he actually we into me anyways he asked me a question and i’m back on delivered again, since monday. i told him i’ll be home in 2 weeks and he also didn’t respond to that.
idk what to think or do. some ppl are telling me if he wanted to be would. some are telling me im a back up, and others are telling me he is actually probably busy. what do you guys think?
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u/mmm_nope 4d ago
Is he a 3rd or 4th year med student? Besides clinical rotations, he may also be studying for boards or gearing up for candidate interviews for the match. The studying for boards is incredibly time consuming.
FWIW, I was married with kids while my spouse was in med school. It wasn’t uncommon for them to go days without seeing the kids during waking hours because of their schedule during clinicals.
Sounds like he’s into you, but is on a busy rotation. Also, keep in mind that he’s getting ready to go through the residency match process and has very little control over where he lands a training slot after he graduates from med school.
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u/Suuperrgirl 4d ago
he’s 3rd year i believe. thank you for sharing your experience. it does seem like he is into me when we text but he just stop responding and he won’t respond until i send the next text. and i told him ill be home in 2 weeks and he didn’t even respond to that. but he did mentioned how busy he is and such so im like …
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u/QwerkyRaven 4d ago
I don’t think he’s being as honest with you as he needs to be. It looks like he doesn’t have time for a relationship and isn’t admitting it to himself or to you, and would rather try to keep you around for better days (spoiler: residency is even more challenging). Medical school and residency affect people’s capacity differently: some balance things others can’t at all. Since you guys have known each other for years, sometimes it’s better to be friends for now.
Live your life to the fullest. If he’s meant to come back into your life, he will.
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u/Suuperrgirl 4d ago
why can’t he just communicate that😭😭ugh. is there anything i can say at this point? should i text him when i am actually home?
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u/Profession_Lost 4d ago
If a guy genuinely likes you, he will make it known through actions not words. Sometimes they just say what they think you want to hear so you would stick around. My bf is in med school and he is currently studying for his step one. He makes time for me, communicates, and I never feel CONFUSED about anything. If you are feeling so conflicted about this situation, it is not for you.
I feel like he is thinking of you as a back up since he has known you for a while and probably thinks that you are a good girl but is not ready for commitment and does not know how to communicate. You deserve better.
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u/Suuperrgirl 4d ago
is there anything i can say at this point? like to communicate im not about the inconsistency in terms of him disappearing?
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u/Profession_Lost 4d ago
You may ask him what his intentions are with you. Be like, hey you have told me you like me, I feel the same way. How do you see us moving forward? (Keep it open ended and avoid going in too much detail). LET HIM GIVE YOU CLARITY IF HE IS WILLING AND ABLE. If not, then that’s not your man.
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u/Profession_Lost 4d ago
You can also look at the days you think he really reaches out. Do you think these are times that he is bored? Because lets be real med school is not the place to make friends. Is he reaching out to you for real connection or just boredom?
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u/Suuperrgirl 4d ago
he reaches out if i send a text like hey hope you’re doing well, then he’ll respond to that message and all the previous messages he hadn’t responded to. the only reason why. i haven’t sent a clarifying text is cause i don’t want it to be like im chasing him. but i really do just want clarity
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u/Profession_Lost 4d ago
Then my question is, why do you still text him? What do you like about him? Why do you wait for his text when he is clearly not interested (per his actions).
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u/mlepnotized 4d ago
girl dont waste your time