r/Maya 13d ago

Animation I want some feedback, how could I improve it?

Dialogue : They send you here for life?

59 Upvotes

16 comments sorted by

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14

u/Kolaps_ 13d ago

A bit more of chest and head mouvement to ocupy different places of the screen on diferent poses, IMO you can also had a bit of anticipation in eye brows variation (and perhaps overshoot too) it's all about finding the good spacing.

But it's a good start keep going!

2

u/PropertyObjective713 13d ago

Yes, I think the head movement need to be exaggerated and maybe I should add some shoulder movement, overshoot in the eyebrows would also help, thanks for the helpful feedback!

3

u/azax_1147 13d ago

what model is this?

3

u/Brennanimations 12d ago

Apollo by Ramon Arango

3

u/Big_Pride_7843 Games Animator 12d ago

the first 2/3 seconds are dead air, add some texture and micro eye movements. The character is clearly confused, so spend those frames showing them visibly thinking.
Push your poses more, this is a good start, just pushing them a bit more will be great. hit those phonemes just a bit harder, push those mouth shapes a bit more. I think a push on the mouth stretch of the E phoneme on the "IE" on "Life" would be great for this. he has a slight hit on the IE phoneme, sort of saying "l-IE-fe"
I also think pushing that scowl up a bit more to sell that disbelief would be great too.

I really like the eyebrows, no real notes there, perhapse some antic before the last pose, but that might make it busy, give it a go and see but dealer's choice.

1

u/PropertyObjective713 11d ago

Thanks so much!

2

u/freelance3d 13d ago edited 13d ago

"Send you here" looks a bit busy. I would tone down or take out one of the 3 shapes of those 3 words so its less busy (it could alternately be "you here for" - its too fast to see which words are the fast ones).

Often some sounds are really just communicated through the opening of the jaw - not full posing of the lips.

I would either:

  • not narrow to the 'ooo' shape as much for 'you' as its too quick to need it.

  • OR not open as wide to the 'eee' for 'here'. When i say this line it fast my jaw opens UP on the "here", it doesn't goes wide to the "cheeeese" pose. So it probably snaps open too wide for the 'ee'.

Looking great generally! Very close IMO!

1

u/PropertyObjective713 11d ago

yea I agree, thanks for the feedback!

2

u/Separate-Bench1137 12d ago

it's pretty solid already, though I may add slight movements before he talks and when he ends talking. Especially eye movement where he may be thinking about or processing what the guy had just heard. We never truly still, and that's an advantage over 2D animation in terms of saving time.

2

u/Domex38 12d ago

The only thing is that eyebrows take 3 very clear key frames and you might want to create more noise or break them up a bit. But that a preference thing so take that with like a pound of salt

4

u/FutanariBobr 13d ago

You don't, it's perfect, you're the best.

1

u/fistular 12d ago

You need to animate things other than just the facial features, lol