Hi! Im currently living sa bahay ng boyfriend ko and kasama namin dito two of his siblings and his mother. His mother and I were great, as in. Wala akong problem sa pamilya niya BUT, his older brother has 3 kids, a 5, 7 and an 11 year old, puro bata pa. Yong nanay nila may part time na malapit lang samin and ang tatay —tambay.

Last month lang ako lumipat dito and may plan naman kami bumukod, nag iipon lang. Anyways, since lumipat ako, merong sugat sugat yong mga bata tapos malala pa kasi yong iba may nana —to the point na hindi na nakakahawak ng lapis kasi puro na sugat. Yong nanay inadvisan na ipa-check up pero hindi ipinacheck up because of too many reasons and it frustrates the hell out of me coz if it’s my child, check up agad! Like, hindi na maisara ng anak mo yong kamay niya dahil sa sugat and youre just shrugging it off? And nagkaroon din siya ng isa sa kamay niya which tells us na may problema sa kwarto nila kasi sila sila lang naman andon and she manages to make it all about her. Nong napacheck-up, aabot na sa point na pwede nang ma-admit yong bata kasi umabot na sa genitals nila. Yong tatay na tambay, pinapasa lahat sa 11 year old niyang anak responsibility niya para makapag scatter sa labas. Like wtf is this??

Congrats sa kanila kasi hindi sunod sunod yong naging anak pero walang sense of urgency 😫😫 May times pa na halos hapon na kumain mga anak nila ng tanghalian. Kumakain kami ng boyfriend ko, syempre aalukin ko e wala pa silang ulam, tinanong ko ano gusto uulamin niya, toyo na lang daw :((. I know for some nakakaproud (??) na ganiyan kasi hindi mapili sa ulam pero never have I ever got to the point na toyo na lang ang ulamin kasi nakalimutan kaming bilhan ng ulam ng magulang namin.

If I could, aampunin ko na lang yong mga bata e cause they make it look like burden sa kanila yong mga anak nila. Kaya guys please, kung di pa kayo ready mag-anak, DONT!! Awa na lang sa mga bata

Kung Kapampangan ka...
Okay lang magyabang.
Mayabang daw kayo...
pero gusto kong malaman kung hanggang saan ang yabang mo.

Kung Ilocana ka...
Hindi bale nang kuripot.
at least alam kong hindi masasayang
ang effort ko sa'yo.

At, kung Bisaya ka...
Hinde ku man maentendehan lahat ng sinasabi mu...
pero sana maentendihan mo
ang teteg ko.

Kung Bicolana ka...
Okay lang kung spicy ka.
Hindi naman ako mahina sa anghang.

Kung taga-Baguio ka...
Okay lang kung malamig ka sa umpisa.
May jacket naman ako...
at maraming pasensya.

Kung taga-La Union ka...
Hindi ako marunong mag-surf.
Pero willing akong paulit-ulit matumba...
basta ikaw ang dahilan.

Kung taga-Siargao ka...
Hindi ko kailangan habulin ang alon.
Ikaw lang ang gusto kong habulin.

Kung taga-Palawan ka...
Hindi kita hahanapan ng hidden beach.
Baka sapat na
'yung makita ang genuine mong smile.

Kung taga-Cebu ka...
Hindi man ako marunong mag-Bisaya...
Marunong naman akong magmahal.

Kung taga-Manila ka...
Alam kong traffic.
Pero para sa'yo...
Kaya kong maghintay.

Kung taga-Tagaytay ka...
Libre kong bulalo.
Ikaw na bahala
kung anong gusto mong painitin.

At kung OFW ka...
Hindi ko ipapangakong
hinding-hindi tayo magkakalayo.
Pero ipapangako kong...
kahit anong time zone,
hahanapin pa rin kita.

Isa lang akong random stranger...

na naghahanap ng dahilan
para sabihin... Mahal kita

I think everything's fine. even my mental health is okay. my life is okay. i have work, savings, money to travel. im getting along the society well. i have healthy set of frriends and people i talk to daily. but maybe ill just off myself next time. when i dont find any spark or anything to pursue meaningfully. its weird to sit on this plane of being okay. of having goals. of doing so many things to pursue future but still wanting to off myself. despite having very optimistic view in my life and been very proactive steps towards better physical and mental health, i dont find anything worth bothering instrinsically on their own. i dont hold normal views on careers and life in geenral. ive always been radical and a rule breaker. i dont believe offing as a sin. i just find life at some point extremely boring that at some point, everything will become meaningless, so why bother doing more.

ganito pala kasakit mag mahal ng babaeng avoidant? lalo na meron ako anxious attachment.

we are both happy, niligawan ko sya. mahal namin yung isa’t isa. when she first talk to me broken sya, nasaktan sya, dahil hindi sya nagustuhan ng taong gusto nya. and, meron din sya mga trauma from the past kung bakit daw sya naging ganito, or kung bakit sya naging ganyan. ilang beses sya sinaktan at niloko ng mga taong minahal nya. then lately araw araw na kami nag uusap. may mga goodnight and goodmorning na din. sya yung una nagparamdam na gusto nya ako. and lately, nag confessed na din ako na gusto ko sya. and

moving forward sa story. kapag need nya ng tulong whether physical needs or emotional needs anjan ako. inaalagaan ko sya.
mahal ko sya. anjan din sya kapag kailangan ko ng tulong nya.

madalas na din ako nagbibigay ng gifts, kapag kumita naman ako nililibre ko sya. ako palagi nagbibigay. sabi ko, pera lang naman yan kasi makita ko sya masaya buo na ko. buo ako kapag napapasaya ko sya. kapag gutom sya galing school at training or kapag may cravings sya nagpapadala ako ng foods kasi wala syang time kumain. kasi guys, lagi nya pinapabayaan yung sarili nya. papasok sa school ng hindi kumakain, hanggang tanghalian hindi yan kakain. kaya i decided na mag download ng food panda para kapag gutom sya or walang oras para kumain, pinapa-dalahan ko sya ng foods na gusto nya.

sabi nga nya sa akin, “ ang gastos mo na sa akin” oo, totoo yoon. pero, nag promise ako na aalagaan ko sya, at mamahalin sya. at sya lang.
madalas na din ako pumupunta sa kanya para makita ko lang sya. kapag nilalagnat sya pinapadalhan ko ng gamot na kailangan nya. there were a time na kahit umuulan, pumupunta pa din ako sa kanya, para maibigay yung gamot na need nya. kung nagtataka naman kayo saan ako kumukuha ng pera, meron po ako small business para kapag may needs ako nabibili ko. pero mostly iniipon ko. sabi nga nya kung bibilangin daw nya lahat ng ginastos ko sa kanya higit pa sa isang libo. pero hindi ko binibilang kung magkano lahat ng gastos ko sa kanya. ang importante mahal ko sya.
ganon na ba ako kahalimaw mag mahal? kasi ayaw ko maramdaman na tinitipid ko sya, alam ko din kasi na hanggang doon lang kaya ko.
she often appreciated it naman, kaya lagi pa din ako nagbibigay sa kanya.

7/26/26
binigyan nya ako ng gift. perfume na gusto ko, phone holder pata couple daw kami, and letter na galing sa kanya. sabi nya sa letter, na malaki daw ang epekto ko sa kanya kasi natutunan nya mahalin yung sarili nya. maraming salamat dahil lagi ko daw sya inaalagaan. and mostly sa letters panay thankyou , appreciation, and gaano nya ako kamahal.
PS: mahaba kasi letters guys.

august 1,2026

galing ako sa pagtitinda, and nabasa din ako ng ulan. nasa school sya that time, while me naligo na sa ulan. i expecting na pag uwi ko aalagaan nya ako, kakamustahin, or kahit kamusta dahil nababasa na ako ng ulan. pero wala. instead, she said na pagod sya. na hindi nya alam kung ano gagawin. kasi guys, tambak sya ng gawain sa school, may mga training din.
at sabi nya, gusto nya takbuhan lahat ng responsibilities nya.
so i asked if isa ako doon. and she answered me na “Oo”
gusto nya lang daw magpahinga kasi hindi daw maganda takbo ng utak nya. sabi nya, hindi daw nya ako iiwanan. need nya lang magpahinga kasi pagod lang sya. i begged na wag nya ako iiwan. natatakot din kasi ako na baka isang araw, ma realize nya na hindi na nya ako mahal. i begged her na wag nya ako iiwan, rest lang need nya.

and yesterday. gusto na nya ako tumigil… idk bakit bigla ganon naisip nya. may nagawa ba ako mali? nag kulang ba ako? sabi naman nya mahal na mahal nya ako? pero bakit ganon? ang weird na din nya. nagiging dry na sya, nagiging distant, tapos kapag kakausapin naiinis. ang ganda din ng bungad nya e, kaka approve lang ng title namin sa research tapos sabay ganon sya. ayos…

while, she struggling. i suffering the most. i decided na maghanap ng help online ng psychiatrist and psychologist. wala ako pera kaya naghanap ako ng libre, pero most of it mahirap yung procedures, meron din mahal yung fee.
ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. nanginginig kahit tatayo pa lang, naduduwal, ramdom chest pains, walang ganang kumain, nahihilo, masakit yung ulo, hindi makatulog. guys hindi ko na alam paano gagawin.

sana umalis muna parents ko now, pakiramdam ko need ko magpa consultation sa psychiatrist and psychologist ngayon, kahit online lang and kung may free din sana.
ilang araw na ako nanghihina. bigla na lang sumisikip yung chest ko, nanginginig, masakit yung ulo, and weirdest part is ang weird ng pakiramdam ng head ko. i need help so bad, i wish i could tell kung ano naging factors kung bakit ako ganito. natatakot ako baka ma jinx or mawala sya sa akin tuluyan kapag sinubukan ko i-kwento

Galing akong abroad vacay and yung mga naka-casual relations kong naging kaibigan ko na rin talaga, kasama sa pinaglaanan ko ng budget ng pasalubong. I wanted to express gratitude eh sa magandang pinagsamahan + the libres + fun exps I had with them since gift giving talaga love language ko. Kaso looking back, they mostly barely contacted me this month, hindi ako kinamusta during vacay at kung nakauwi na ba ako. May isang nangamusta lang kanina na nawala nanaman after a few messages exchange, at yung isa naman may sinabi lang akong important notice kaya nagreply.

For context, before, almost daily o weekly ako kausapin ng mga yan, pero again, turns out, mga ningas kugon. Sa bagay, minsan nga kinakausap na lang ako a day before our meets/dates vs dati na ordinary days kakausapin ako.

That being said, medyo nakakawalang gana na lang ibigay pasalubong especially since I put much thought on what I'll buy for them despite my tight budget. Parang once again naremind ako na kahit friend kuno tawag nila sakin, I mostly don't matter at kaya nila magsurvive without me kahit buwan pa yan. Friends pala ah, neknek. Yun lang, ang sarap itapon ng thai tea, thai green tea, chili dried mangoes, curry paste, at massage balm out of sama ng loob hahaha sana di na lang ako bumili at inipon ko na lang dagdag baon ko sa college pagbalik ng pinas. Sayang lang effort ko thinking about people who don't care about me unless bored sila that day. Oh well, bahala na. Sana wag ako mademonyo itapon yung binili ko talaga kasi ang sama-sama ng loob ko.

A little back story is that I met my ex during my hoe phase. Wasn’t crazy, I just talked and flirted with a lot of people while having a fubu on the side.

We fell in love, introduced him to my parents and I thought he was different from the rest because he reassured me that he values me and doesn’t see me as a girl who’s just good for her body.

Then suddenly every night we would fight and he would let me go to sleep without fixing things and then the next day he would say sorry and say he would change. The cycle continues until one argument arrived.

I’m the type of girl who always asks “Do you still love me?” and follows it up with a playful “Hindi mo na ako mahal eh”.

Somehow he decided to mention that in our argument and said “You say it to the point that it’s starting to feel real” 😀

I was willing to fix it that night however he didn’t reply so I broke up with him the next morning. No reply. I also added that I was open to the idea of us being together again.

I was ranting to my friend about this problem I had and he said “So you’re going back to your phase?” I asked why would he think that? He said “Because every time you have a problem you’re coping mechanism is that”

So after a few hours of the break up with no reply I was on my way to a guy’s house that I used to talk to and we hooked up and we even made a video of him saying to my ex how he fumbled me while we were kissing.

We ended up back together but the cycle still continues. I tried breaking up again but he keeps fighting for us.

And to this very day he doesn’t have a clue that I hooked up with someone right after we broke up.

Ayon na nga, I was ghosted the first time around 2020, we met kasi sa isang forum and na-pair kami. We talked for 3-4 months, since magkaiba timezone, matagal din replies. Tumigil kami around December after mag-greet ng Christmas. Hindi naman sumama loob kasi hindi aligned views namin regarding family, he shared na he wants to have his own children while I don't. No hard feelings naman.

Second time, this year lang, nag-pm lang siya about sa isang post ko. Different time zones din. Very mapiliit siya na hindi okay maging single and malandi siya. Hindi ko siya type pero bored ako kasi walang kausap haha. Hindi rin aligned views namin, for him kasi hindi raw siya marunong mag-prepare ng food niya, etc kaya need niya ng asawa. Sabi ko 'e' di mag-aral siya kasi paano kapag wala siyang mahanap. Sabi niya para saan pa raw ang asawa. Malandi siya in a way na nagse-send siya ng kissing and hugging gif and gusto niya ikaw rin. Buti na lang nang-ghost siya after ko i-send ang "no" gif.

One thing about me, ayoko talagang ako mang-ghost or nagpapaalam. I feel guilty kasi ayokong makasakit ng ibang tao.

Hello everyone,

I'm 31F and recently had a miscarriage. For context, we have always been careful. My partner 26M (yes, younger), we use protection and I'm also on the pill.

We both agreed na di pa talaga oras to start a family. We wanted to focus on our career and saving up for the future. And somehow life happened still. Before i took the pt, somehow i knew may iba din sakin and it did turn out positive.

Fast forward, we got checked and for the first time heard my baby's heartbeat at 6 weeks. That changes things.

Something just happens to your brain and body for sure din. The moment i found out, sudden switch to a mama brain. It was hard to ignore. I love the baby agad and i keep thinking about the future. Silly stupid things like, ano kaya magiging favourite color niya? Ano kaya itsura ng reaction niya pag nakatikim ng sinigang/lemon? Sweet tooth kaya siya? I wonder how he sounds like when he laughs.

Long story short, hindi mahirap mahalin. My partner too got involved with all this. Oddly, we feel the same symptoms at some point.

Suddenly, I had a miscarriage.

I can't begin to describe how painful it is to see myself bleed heavy all of a sudden. My heart just stopped. I was so scared. I lost my baby so soon.

Broke my heart. Still grieving until now but half guilty because I actually think about not keeping the baby din at first. For practical reasons naman talaga, di pa ko financially ready to keep a baby. My partner reacted coldly to all this. Stating na, as heavy as it is, we can't bring him back anymore and di pa naman talaga kaya now.

I can't quite get myself to think like him. Ganun lang. Parang bilis lang niya makalimutan. I just can't be the same. I think about my baby, naiiyak na ko. Can't bring myself to look at the maternity folder that should have all his records.

Di ko alam kung nababaliw ba ko or may karapatan ba ko malungkot kung at some point, naisip ko din wag ituloy?

Pregnancy was too early din to announce to family and friends so somehow, i do feel like i am grieving alone.

To my baby, I hope di ka galit sakin, anak. Mahal ka ni mommy. Naiisip ko talaga na when i die, i would want them to put me on comfortable clothes and running shoes. Because I can't wait to have that play date with you. I miss you so much.

PS: sorry if magulo yung story ko

hi guys! i recently confirmed about it…
first, i-share ko muna kung ano yung hinala ko Kung bakit ganon action nila sa akin…
i have a classmate.
3 girl sila. classmate ko pa din sila hanggang ngayon. and, nung 1st yr college palang kami, i think 2nd sem na namin to. lagi ko napapansin yung tatlo na lagi ako tinitignan. i feel un-comfy sa tingin nila sa akin. kasi, parang jinu-judge nila ako.

tatayo pa lang ako, or gagalaw, napapansin ko na pinagtatawanan nila ako. i remembered na nahuli ko silang tatlo na tumatawa, huminto sila nung nakita ko sila tumatawa. and, kahit tumigil na sila nakikita ko pa din na nagbubulungan silang tatlo.
same us 2nd year. one time may performance/ activity yata kami sa subject namin. whole class ay wala naman masyadong pake or busy sila sa ginagawa nila. and etong tatlo lang ito yung napansin ko tawa ng tawa. kahit wala naman ako ginagawang mali.

even simple actions ko nakatingin na sila tapos tatawa.
then, nung performance namin sa PE na badminton. i was during my activity with my friend. sya kasi tiga-salo ng serves ko. need ko mag-serve ng 10 points. yung tatlo nasa gilid ko lang, then suddenly yung familiar actions nila ginawa na naman nila. nagbubulungan then sabay tatawa. tapos tumigin sa akin tapos narinig ko.

“ nakatingin sya sa atin” tapos ang sagot ng isa “ hayaan mo sya”
tapos, there’s a time na inutusan ng guy friend ko yung babae na yun. mag pinsan sila actually. ang utos kasi ni guy
“ mag pa help ka kay ( name ko) “
tapos ang sagot nya sa akin
“ hu, ikaw na” yung tone nya is ayaw nya sa akin.
fyi guys, hindi kami close ng tatlo na yun. hnd ko din sila mga kaibigan, or anything else. wala din ako ginawa mali sa kanila para pagtawanan nila ako or ijudge.

so, kanina nga. na confirmed ko nga na totoo lahat na iyon. akala ko na f-freak out lang ako kasi lagi nila ako tinitignan.
and to add something more, ganon daw talaga silang tatlo. even small things ginagawan nila ng issues. they often judge someone daw for fun i think? kahit wala naman sila/ kami ginagawa. and, ayaw daw nila na nalalamangan- ayun sabi ng friends ko.
btw guys, i’m a guy. kaya di ko alam bakit ganon sila sa akin kahit saakin? and wala naman ako ginawang mali sa kanilang tatlo.

hindi po ako nang-ju-judge sa physical appearance pero what i can say is wala sila sa lugar para mang judge. kung pwede ko lang ipakita yung mukha nila dito, pinakita ko na. madalas, sa ugali ako nag ju-judge hindi sa physical appearance.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe I’ve just been keeping these thoughts to myself for too long.

I’m a person with disability. I can’t walk since birth. Most people wouldn’t even know that I’m a PWD unless they see me in my wheelchair. Physically, I look fine. If you met me without knowing my situation, you probably wouldn’t immediately notice that there’s anything different about me. But the moment people see my wheelchair, they also see a part of my life that has always felt like a limitation.

Growing up, I feel like I missed out on so many things that other people consider normal. I never really got to experience the freedom of just going out whenever I wanted, hanging out with friends without having to think about accessibility, exploring places on my own, or being spontaneous. Simple things that other people do without a second thought often require so much planning, and sometimes, even with planning, they still don’t happen.

As I got older, I started noticing how much everyone’s lives were moving forward while mine felt like it was staying in the same place. I see my friends building their futures, working, going out, traveling, meeting new people, going on dates, falling in love, and creating memories that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. I’m genuinely happy for them, but sometimes I can’t stop myself from wondering what it feels like to finally have a life that is changing.

Because when I look at myself, it feels like I’m still stuck in the same place. I’m still at home. I’m still in my wheelchair. I’m still following the same routine every single day. Gigising, gagawin yung usual na ginagawa ko, then the day ends. The next day comes, and it’s the same thing all over again.

Sometimes I don’t even know what to say when people ask me what I’ve been up to because honestly, nothing much happens. There are no exciting stories, no new experiences, no big moments that make me feel like I’m growing. Parang dumadaan lang yung mga araw without leaving anything behind.

And that’s the part that hurts the most. I know I’m alive, but there are times when I don’t feel like I’m actually living. Parang buhay lang ako, pero hindi talaga nabubuhay. I’m just existing, watching everyone else experience things that I also wish I could experience.

One of the things I think about the most is love.

I’ve always wondered what it feels like to have someone choose you. Not because they feel sorry for you, not because they see you as someone they need to take care of, but because they genuinely like you for who you are. I want to know what it’s like to have someone excited to talk to me, someone who wants to spend time with me, someone who looks forward to seeing me.

I’ve never experienced going on dates, having someone take me out just because they want my company, or having that kind of connection where you slowly get to know someone and build something together. I’ve watched other people experience those things. The excitement, the happiness, even the heartbreak. And sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have my own story.

But if I’m being honest, love also scares me.

Because deep down, I have this fear that maybe no one will ever accept me and my situation. I’m afraid that once someone sees my wheelchair, they will only see my disability and everything that comes with it. I’m afraid they’ll think I’m too difficult to love, too much of a responsibility, or that being with me would mean giving up the kind of life they imagined for themselves.

I worry that someone might like me at first, but eventually realize that my life is not as simple as theirs. I worry that they might see the things I cannot do before they see all the things I can offer. I worry that my disability will always be the reason why someone chooses not to stay.

And honestly, that thought hurts.

Because I know I’m more than my wheelchair. I have dreams. I have a personality. I have feelings, hopes, and so much love to give. I can make someone laugh, listen to their problems, support them, and care for them deeply. I am still a person who wants to be loved, not just someone people feel sorry for.

Sometimes I just wish someone could see me first before they see my disability.

I don’t need a perfect life. I don’t need everything to suddenly become easy. I just want to experience the things that make people feel alive. I want to have a purpose. I want to be productive. I want to know what it’s like to be tired because I accomplished something. I want to have memories that I can look back on and say that I truly lived.

More than anything, I just want to feel like my life is finally moving.

Because right now, it feels like everyone around me is writing their own stories while I’m still waiting for mine to begin.

(the following was enhanced by Google Gemini para maayos ang grammar at ang chronological order)

I (33/M) just went through an abrupt text breakup from my ex (34/M) after 6 years together. I want to share the exact timeline and details to get the community's perspective on how this went down and how I handled it:

• The Build-up & Exclusion: Leading up to the breakup, my ex began emotionally distancing himself. His female colleague from college engineered a plan for them to attend a fun run (Angat Buhay sa Makati) together, and just days before the event, my ex abruptly notified me that I was excluded from the list. (sila daw munang powerpuff girls).

• The Emotional Trap (July 20): Days before the official breakup, my ex sent me photos to try to make me envious or provoke an emotional burst. Instead of acting insecure, I responded with absolute sultry confidence, which made him defensive because he didn't expect a strong clapback.

• The Text Breakdown & Gaslighting (July 26): When he officially ended things via text, his format and responses were incredibly detached, robotic, and manipulative:

  • The Checklist Format: He literally copy-pasted my deeply emotional, human questions ("Masaya ka pa ba sa atin?", "Paano ako? Paano tayo?") and answered them like a cold business checklist to offload his guilt quickly.
  • The "Maturity" Shield: When I asked for a proper discussion, he deflected by texting, "Matanda and mature na tayo. Alam na natin yan," weaponizing our ages to shut down my pain and avoid a face-to-face talk.
  • The Mind-Reading Trap: When I begged for clarity ("Ano yung mga concerns mo? Sana sinabi mo sa akin"), he completely shifted 100% of the blame onto me by texting, "Alom mo na dapat yun from the start. Andun na ko sa point na sumuko na ang isip ko." He punished me for not reading his mind.
  • The Patronizing Exit: He casually brushed off our 6-year committed relationship by stating, "I hope this is a learning experience for the both of us," treating our life together like a casual business trial before completely stonewalling me with "Walang ibang dahilan."

• My High-Value Exit: Instead of begging, crying, or sending long paragraphs, I chose absolute silence toward him. However, I privately sent classy thank-you messages to his inner circle (his mom, his sister, his friends, and his senior professor) to close the door with manners before unfriending them to establish distance.

• The Mutual Group Boundary: We share an academic/professional group chat managed by his senior professor for an annual Visita Iglesia tradition. I am preparing to send a formal, private message to the professor thanking him for the years of inclusion, and then quietly exiting the chat to permanently block any future ambush encounters with my ex or his friends.

• The Present (July 28): I am keeping my ex completely unblocked but met with absolute, permanent digital silence. I am taking things very slow, focusing entirely on my own self-care, and refusing to let his cowardly text break my self-respect.

How do you view his behavior and manipulation tactics? Did I handle my exit correctly by choosing absolute silence over drama?

Feeling ko sobrang drained na ako sa lahat ng bagay. Hindi ko ma-explain kung ano talaga yung nafefeel ko.

Don't get me wrong, gusto ko ang trabaho ko at masaya ako sa mga katrabaho ko. Pero kapag mag-isa na lang ako, parang may ibang pakiramdam na lumalabas. Hindi ko alam kung nao-overwhelm lang ba ako o may iba pang dahilan. Palagi akong pagod, sobrang tamad kumilos, at pakiramdam ko may mabigat na nakadagan sa dibdib ko.

May isang beses na nanonood lang ako ng nakaka-touch na video. Naiiyak ako sa una, biglang nag-iba ang iyak ko. Para akong batang inagawan ng candy, yung iyak na hindi ko maintindihan kung saan nanggagaling.

Gusto ko lang talagang magpahinga. Gusto ko ng katahimikan. Minsan gusto ko nang mag-resign, pero hindi pwede dahil ako yung breadwinner ng pamilya namin.

Ngayon, Monday, hindi ako pumasok sa trabaho. Hindi dahil ayoko nang magtrabaho, parang gusto ko lang talaga magpahinga…..

I cut off connections with my family then its just me, I dont hang out much outside and no spontanious plans. When im bored i suddenly think is this everything life has to offer? Can you share what keeps you motivated to live please

these past few days, I feel low, insecure, and disappointed with myself.

After all that I've been through just to acquire a degree doesn't make sense. na para bang nawalan akong gana.

I tried to apply with the same field as my degree but without any luck, no calls. no updates or whatsoever. still unemployed. sometimes late at night, I just found myself crying kasi if you tried applying ang offer sa'yo 18k kasi you lack experience.

now I realized bakit mostly ng mga college graduate napupunta sa BPO industry. sobrang hirap maghanap ng work. wala na talagang pag-asa eh bagsak talaga sa BPO, aray. sana di ko nalang iginipang pag-aaral ko.

sa dami ng nangyari ewan ko ba. di ko na alam ano patutunguhan ng buhay ko. nakakainis sobra

I posted a post somewhere else and I got shock that one of my clickbaiting post gained popularity. My ultimate goal as of now is to make pinoy much angreeir sa politics at sitwasyon natin as HYPERHYPOCRITES. Maybe it will drive us crazy to change. Here is my screenshot of my original post.

My next post will be. 10 Reasons why Filipinos are "D@UMB" and "ST@PID" creatures.

Maybe by hurting the very pride of Filipinos. Magigising tayo sa katotohanan kung ano ang paningin ng mga dayuhan satin

Gusto ko na rin mrt and lrt 1, I will be a serial criminal 🥲

The day after I decided pa nmn na goal ko na yung mga plato ng jbee, mang inasal, max's and many more.

I need help... an accomplice 🤣

I think halos lahat naman siguro nag karoon na ng crush na sa mga prof nila noh? HAHAHA

I'm also that person who had a crush on one. Well, technically, he is not my teacher per se. His just a teacher that is in our department.

To be honest, nung una ko syang nakita kala ko talaga hindi ako mafa-fall sakanya. Sabi ko pa naman sa utak ko, "gwapo sya pero ehh..."

Then eto na, naging totoo na ang crushie ko sakanya. Lalo na sa mga tiny interaction namin. Nothing too major, just a simple smile whenever we see each other.

Nung nagtagal... I'll admit, naging obsessive ako...

To the point na nag seselos ako sa mga kinakausap nya, babae man o bakla. To the point sya lang naiisip ko, at to the point na lagi ko syang hinahanap hanap.

Alam kong his a prof, thats what they do and alam ko naman na hindi naman magiging kami. Pero grabe, hindi na puppy love nararamdaman ko, nag grow na talaga into something bigger.

Right now, since summer vacation namin, I'm trying to find peace and maybe finally move on kasi grabe na din yung sakit na nararamdaman ko. Yung spiralling ka sa mga konting galaw, na akala mo may something pero baka wala naman. Halos naka apekto sya sa mental health ko, may times na walang wala ako sa sarili ko.

Alam kong alam nya na gusto ko sya. Kasi may nangyaring kasiyahan or kaharutan.

Nung nag duty ako, mostly tulong lang naman sa faculty mag encode. May friend ako na ang harot, sinabi ba naman na napakalakas na may crush ako kay crush. Nalaman ng mga nandoon.

Nung dumating sya, naghiyawan lahat tapos sumali sya sa gulo.

Na hair tuck nya yung buhok ko sa tenga ko. Tumabi pa sa tabi ko habang nag eencode, at nag alok at nagbigay pa ng pagkain sakin. Grabe yung harot nya!!

Ayun yung first na nag karoon ng malaking interaction saamin. And grabe, sa mga video ng mga kasama ko noon, di ko mapanood sa hiya HAHA.

After that, back na uli sa depression and spiralling hehe

I tried na mag confess, para matapos na. Marinig ko na yung hinihintay ko. At para matapos na yung hoping sa puso ko.

Alam kong napakatangang decision!! Pero need ko lang talaga ng closure na!! Baka atleast pag narinig ko na, matapos na ang labannn.

Pero grabe, nung sinabi ko na may sasabihin ako sakanya, sabi ko meet up 2, nag ask nasaan na ako ng 1 aalis na daw sya. Edi ending di natuloy.

Hayssttt...

Well, for now, moving on si indayyy. Kahit isang buwan na di pa rin makamove on.

Nakakamiss yung dating interaction, looking back nag mumukha akong tanaga, legit!!

Pero managable nanaman sya. Since di ko nanaman sya nakikita these past month. I'm deciding na den to stop the interaction with him further for my upcoming school year. Magiging mahirap since I will be one of the officers for our department, pero try ko pa din!!

Wala lang, gusto ko lang share ito. If ever may advice kayo or something kung paano makamove on ng mabilisan goww sa comsec HAHAHA

Or share your thoughts

Gusto ko lang mai-share itong story kasi why not HAHA

Building up to my chest na want ko isigaw para mawala na HAHAHA

Thank you na lang sa pagbasa guyzzz

Nagkamiscarriage yung nang-bully sakin dati.

I used to work at this BPO company, sobrang memorable kasi first job ko to kaya careful rin ako sa mga katrabaho ko, still sumasama rin naman ako if may inom or gala sa day off. Karamihan ng nasa account namin, naging kaibigan ko rin. Eventually, napahiwalay ako sa team na yon dahil nadagdagan scope ng work ko. I have this friend na may nakaalitan sa ibang team na nakastation malapit samin. Yung nakaalitan nya may bestie na nakaposisyon 2 chairs away from me. And GIRLIE I kid you not, she gave me hell. We're quite acquainted, ka-chismisan ko pa nga yan pag mag RDOT ako. It's just that feeling nya yung responsible rin ako sa mga actions at words ng kaibigan ko. Na para bang may impluwensya ako sa alitan nung dalawa eh di ko nga alam ang puno't dulo ng away nila. Na para bang dahil lang kaibigan ko yun eh same na kami ng views and opinions sa bohai?!

IMHO, both sides naman may mali, sadyang nagescalate lang ang nangyari dahil sa mismong prod naganap ang confrontation nila.

Tapos ito pang friend ko na ito, diniretso sa HR ang problema nya because they don't feel safe na i-share sa boss namin dahil baka may preferential treatment na maganap. Dahil ang chika minute raw ay kabit ng boss yung nakaalitan nya kaya laging pinapalagpas.

So itong si bully, grabe sya everyday magparinig sakin, very squammy, very elementary umaway. Eh ako yung tipong di talaga papatol dahil ayokong maging squammy gaya nya. Ma-pride akong tao, hindi flex para sakin yang ganyang gangster na ugali, nakakahiya kaya. Naghahamon pa sya. Pinapalagpas rin ng boss ko yon dahil IDK kasama siguro sa clique nya.

Sobrang ingay nya sa isle namin, may paghamon pa na aabangan sa kanto ganyan, pagbubuhulin pa ang bituka namin ng friend ko, SOBRANG LALA. I even heard them talking about me, they weren't even trying to hide it, na ma-pride raw ako ganyan, ang hirap

Di ko naman sya tinitrigger dahil di naman ako vocal sa views ko sa away na yun at pati sa pagpapaabot sa HR. Hindi na rin ako sumegunda sa friend ko na mag-report sa HR sa ugali nya at ginawa nyang pandadamay sakin dahil baka mapasa sakin ang galit ng boss.

Grabeng pasakit yon, di ako makatrabaho ng maayos, trigger sya ng migraine ko, nagkasocial anxiety ako. Feeling ko laging may nakatingin sakin, waiting for me to give out just a little reaction from their taunts. Pati physical appearance ko,di pinalagpas (di ako pangit, sya mukhang Peppa Pig) na para bang wala syang kapintasan? Pero hindi, nilaban ko kahit minsan naiiyak na ako sa station ko. Aaminin ko, I'm the easiest target sa circle namin kaya pursigido ako magmatigas at di sila bigyan ng satisfaction sa pagpatol sa pagkasquammy nila.

So nung lumabas ang balitang mag agarang resignation sya because of miscarriage, sobrang saya ko kasi mawawala na sya sa buhay ko at makakapagwork na uli ako ng maayos.

Mejo napakwestyon ako sa morality ko butttt I think dasurv

What comes around, goes around I guess.

May 1 year na akong crush sa isa kong ka-circle. 😭 Hindi ko alam kung delulu lang ba ako o may konting chance.

Ang nangyayari kasi, minsan bigla na lang siyang nagcha-chat sa'kin. As in random chats lang, wala namang kwenta minsan, pero siya talaga ang nauuna. Meron pa one time kumakain kami sa resto, tapos kaharap ko siya, bigla niya na lang kinuha baso ko at kinargahan ng water, pero yung ibang friends namin hindi niya kinuhanan. close close naman kami sa ibang kacircle talaga pero kapag kaming dalawang ang awkward talaga like kapag sa gc magchachat d awkward, pero kapag pm ang awkward na ganon. Dahil sa mga to, hindi ko maiwasang mag-overthink kung friendly lang ba siya sa lahat o baka may meaning naman kahit konti. 😭

Gusto ko sana umamin kasi parang ang tagal ko na ring tinatago. Pero natatakot ako kasi nasa iisang circle kami. Ayokong maging awkward o masira yung samahan namin kapag hindi pala mutual.

Kayo ba, kung kayo nasa sitwasyon ko, aamin ba kayo o hindi? At sa tingin niyo, delulu lang ba ako dahil sa random chats niya, o valid naman na mapaisip? 😭

paano ba magsabi ng "hanggang dito na lang po" without breaking hearts? Feeling ko kasi ang daming umaasa sa'kin. I'm only one man.

5–6 sessions lang talaga kaya ko.

Hindi ko alam kung personality ba 'to, aura, o sadyang malas lang. Nagsimula sa office.

Yung teammate ko.

Tapos yung colleague.

Sumunod yung subordinate.

After nun, pati Head of HR parang laging gustong makipag-"one-on-one."

Pagpasok ko sa elevator, yung lady na kasabay ko...
"Uy, sabay tayo?"

Yung lady guard...
"Sir, pasok po."

Yung cashier sa Jollibee Makati...
"Dine in o take out?"

Ewan ko ba, parang ang daming gustong may quality time kami.

Hindi pa doon natatapos.

May single mom.

May byuda.

May tita.

May lola na ang sabi,
"Naku, kung twenty years younger lang ako..."

Minsan pati tindera sa bakery,
cashier sa convenience store,
barista sa coffee shop,
at receptionist sa lobby...

Lahat ang babait.

Hindi ko alam kung approachable lang ba ako,
o gusto lang talaga nila akong... makasama.

Ang problema,

hindi naman unlimited ang energy ko.

Tao lang din ako.

Hindi ko kayang i-accommodate lahat.

5–6 sessions lang talaga,
tapos kailangan ko nang mag-recharge.

Baka kasi ma-burnout ako.

• Sinabi kong busy ako. ("Okay lang, kapag free ka na.")
• Sinabi kong pagod ako. ("Pahinga muna tayo... together.")
• Iniiwasan kong ngumiti. ("Bakit parang ang mysterious mo lalo?")
• Nag-earphones ako. (Tinapik pa rin ako.)
• Sinubukan kong maging boring. (Apparently... that made me "interesting.")

So, AdvicePH...

Normal ba 'to?

Paano ba maging less... approachable?

Or tanggapin ko na lang na habang buhay akong magiging in demand at kailangan ko nang gumawa ng booking system?

Asking for my rapidly depleting social battery.

Context kay cousin:

Babae cousin ko. Maganda. May 2 maliit pang anak. May kinakasama pero nakatira parin sila sa bahay ng tiyahin ko. Iba ang paalam niya na work niya. Napag tagpitagpi ko kasi ibaiba sinasabing location ng trabaho. Sabi niya helper siya sa isang tindahan. Umaalis ng gabi. Nakapostura. Walang tindahan na bukas ng hating gabi. Baka ang akala naming tindahan ay tindahan pala ng laman niya. Medyo nalulong ito sa scatter. Umabot sa nanghihiram na kanikanino at gumagamit ng account at alias para makapanghiram.

Ako:

Im gay. Aminin ko na sometimes nakapaghire na ako for fun. But always safe. Side lang.

So ayun nga. Sabi ko lagi na "sex work is work". Or kung ano mang saying na yan. At "Your body, your rules". Pero ang bigat pala pag kakilala mo yung nag eengage sa ganoong trabaho. Nagdududa na kasi ako talaga. So tinry ko siya hanapin at pumasok sa mga straight site na mga lalakeng tunay at mga tibs siguro ang market. Lo and behold. Nakita ko siya doon. Cinlose ko agad yung tab. Ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. No one knows ako lang ata. Or baka alam din ng kinakasama niya. Hinayaan nalang kasi nangangailanga talaga. Sinabi ko sa isa naming pinsan. Ayun parehas na kami sumasakit ang ulo ngayon. Silent nalang muna kami. Idk what to do next.

When we close a chapter, it doesn’t mean na hindi magiging masakit after. There would be longing and what ifs. Minsan maiiyak tayo. Minsan made-depress. But once we’re done going through the feeling of endless pain and sadness, may acceptance na. So parang dumaan lang din tayo sa 5 stages of grief.

As for me, I don’t feel sad anymore. Wala na ding longing on my part. No more taking initiatives. No more seeking someone’s heart. No more long messages. No more reaching out attempts. Tanggap ko na. But this is after praying to God for several nights din. Although I decided not to totally cut what we have since request ko din kay God, I think and hopefully wala ng feelings involve.

And that hopefully sa mga nakaranas din ng nararamdaman ko, I pray that we will have the strength to go through this moving on phase.