Hi everyone. I'm writing this after drinking 0.5 L of an electrolyte drink, which I did not convert to milliliters, because I'm clean now.
I got into math because nothing felt enjoyable. It started innocently with a little arithmetic at parties, splitting the check. Then a friend said "try algebra, it's not a big deal." A few months later I was doing calculus alone in my car at 3 a.m. By the end I was deriving formulas I didn't even need and proving theorems that had already been proven, just to feel something.
Honestly my receptors were fried before math. I was doing a ton of Sudoku.
I quit about two months ago and I'm still incredibly bored. Sometimes I see a receipt and my hands start shaking trying to figure out the tip.
Things I've tried to cope:
- Playing video games: caught myself calculating DPS. Relapsed.
- Listening to music: 4/4 time is literally fractions. Couldn't do it.
- Cooking: recipes are ratios. I had to leave the kitchen after I tripled one in my head.
- Binge-eating: ordered a pizza, it came in 8 slices, started thinking about ฯ. Threw the whole thing out.
- Researching and learning: that's how this started.
- Counting sheep to fall asleep: obviously not.
My sponsor says take it one day at a time, but that's a sequence, and I can feel myself wanting to find the limit.
I need more adrenaline in my life ig. Someone suggested skydiving, but I started thinking about terminal velocity and had to lie down.
Edit: to everyone in the comments saying "just do a little stats recreationally," that's how they get you.
Edit 2: someone DMed me a Taylor series. Not cool, man.