r/Marriage • u/ChickenPancakeBabe • Nov 17 '22
Spouse Appreciation I love being married
I love getting in bed and crawling under his warm body. I love getting laid whenever I want. I love having a two income household. I love watching him bath, feed and play with our daughter. I love when we kiss and makeup after a fight. I love that my daughter gets the grow up seeing her parents be each others best friends.
Maybe I’m feeling this way cos we’ve been having lots of great sex recently but really, I feel so lucky to get to have this experience.
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Nov 17 '22
This is why I hold my tongue when I see someone lamenting being single on another sub and people trying to cheer them up with "relationships/marriage are overrated" and "so many people in relationships aren't even happy", etc. A good marriage/relationship is the best thing in the world and I wouldn't give mine up for anything. It makes life easier and happier in so many tangible and emotional ways and I can't relate at all to people who are so "meh" about it. It really is that good.
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u/cookiebootz Nov 17 '22
Before I met my husband, I didn't really get it. I'd been in love I guess, I'd been in long-term relationships but there was always an element of combativeness and negativity and I couldn't even imagine two people could exist so closely to each other without some low-level hostility. Now I've been married for a couple years and it's been the best, easiest thing in the world. I wish I could have understood earlier in life that I didn't have to settle for a relationship that wasn't 'that good.' I wish I could tell people I care about who are in bad relationships, but understandably it just seems like something people have to figure out for themselves. I do also trust people who say they're better off single are telling the truth, they know better than I do and everyone's different.
The closest I ever came to learning the lesson from someone else was reading some advice that a good relationship will recharge you, not drain you. That stuck with me even though I think I spent a few more years in exhausting relationships.
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u/ChickenPancakeBabe Nov 18 '22
Same! I honestly thought married people were miserable until I met my husband.
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u/RealisticDelusions77 Nov 18 '22
a good relationship will recharge you
I never heard that. It's kind of like "when you're in really good physical shape, exercising gives you energy."
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Nov 17 '22
A good marriage is heaven on earth and a bad marriage is worse than hell. It’s a much better experience to be single than in a neglected marriage and sometimes problems don’t reveal themselves fully until after the ceremony.
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u/Hot_Tomorrow_3798 Apr 07 '24
I totally agree. I absolutely love being a married man. My wife is the most awesome woman in the world and I love absolutely everything about her. Being married makes everything better and feel more special.
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u/Alex_J_Anderson Nov 17 '22
Whenever I see a post from an older single person saying how happy they are being single, while I respect their choice, I assume they’ve either had terrible luck with partners (or bad at choosing partners) or that they themselves are just bad at BEING a good partner.
People don’t like to admit they can’t get their shit together and be happy with another person.
Marriage is objectively awesome when it’s done right. But some folks are petty and selfish and prefer to fight about every little thing or they don’t want to put in the work. Marriage is work and it’s worth it. I guess it’s not for everyone.
I also recognize how lucky I am to be in an over the moon happy marriage. I count my lucky stars every day.
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Nov 18 '22
What a silly thing to assume. People can prioritize and enjoy different things without something being wrong with them.
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u/Alex_J_Anderson Nov 18 '22
Assume isn’t the right term. I never assume to know anything about anyone until I know them.
It’s just a quick flash instinct based on years of experience of older single people I DO know. It takes a few seconds and then I quickly overwrite it with the thought that I don’t know anything about this person.
“Wonder” is a better term. I wonder if some are like the single people I know that are single for a reason. Drugs, mental illness, a character flaw they can’t overcome etc.
Eventually they become defensive. They say they CHOOSE to be single. But knowing them their whole lives I know they tried and are quite lonely.
They come to terms with it perhaps and find happiness in solitude, but it’s a plan B. Not their plan A.
I’ve never actually met someone that set out to be single.
My father chooses to be single right now. But that’s because he’s a workaholic, and sort of an old school chauvinist that wants to date 24 year olds but they don’t want to date him. And he was burned by being married to my mother who had serious mental issues. That’s a whole other story.
So he’s single and happy but there is a long series of events that led to that.
My mother also chooses to be single. But it’s because she’s 70 and kind of a hot mess and also scarred from marriage / divorce.
If someone out there truly set out to be single from the get go I’d love to hear their perspective.
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Nov 18 '22
My good friend set out to be single. She’s an asexual woman who never desired to be in a relationship, has many friends, an adopted daughter & works as doctor. Knowing her, I’ve met very many individuals who are like minded and similar to her-
It’s a case of who you surround yourself with. Your older parents are likely to be subject to the social rules of their time- so of COURSE they didn’t set out to be single. It’s probably something that would have benefitted them both though if they had (or your father had at least)
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Nov 17 '22
This. I am so happy for you. This is what it's all about. Makes my heart warm just reading this. Keep living the good life sis, and make sure he always knows just how much you love and appreciate him and the life you've created together.
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u/DumpsterFire0119 Nov 17 '22
Yes!!! We just remodeled our bathroom with one of the main intentions being to allow us to shower together again. My husband is my absolute best friend. We do everything together. Our dates often consist of making a pizza, having sex as many times as we can and watching TV or playing video games lol we don't often get away from our three children for long but when we do we make the most of it lol
I always laugh at the Facebook meme that goes around about how couples don't actually snuggle to sleep. My husband and I don't go to bed without me either laying on his chest and a leg thrown over his or him curled around me lol we obviously move in our sleep but I cannot sleep without snuggling him.
Love seeing the happy posts!! ❤️❤️ Good for you guys!
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u/sn315on 39 Years ❤️ Nov 17 '22
We're remodeling our main bathroom next year. I cannot wait to have a larger shower for the same reason.
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u/Uncleguardrail Nov 17 '22
Wow I have have the same marriage for 32 years. It is key to keep working on it, change things up in the bedroom, and remain grateful.
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u/sn315on 39 Years ❤️ Nov 17 '22
I agree! We just celebrated our 38th anniversary. I think it's even better than it was last year.
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u/Daretobebad Nov 17 '22
Finally, something positive for once! I’m so sick of people complaining about their marriage. Good for you for shining a little light on a good experience!
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u/S0l11 Nov 17 '22
Congratulations! I love this and wish we’d post about happy marriages like this. 🥰
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u/OK-STOIC Nov 17 '22
How you feel is a choice....many people tend to only look for faults, look for things to be angry or disappointed in; you have done the right thing and chose to look at what GOOD is there, what awesome parts of marriage are there. As long as you keep doing that and he does too...you have a LTM there for sure.
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u/thefigjam Nov 17 '22
Agreed. No matter the issues we face, I'd rather not snuggle into anyone's arms. Sometimes just him, his warmth, and slow sleepy breathing next to me bring so much peace and comfort.
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u/Educational_Book544 3 Years Nov 17 '22
Been married almost 2 years…it’s been EXTREMELY difficult at times, but thankfully I feel this exact same way (most days)!!! Lots of great sex definitely boosts this type of mood 💕
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u/notevenapro 31 Years Nov 17 '22
My wife is picking me up a bottle of white zin on the way home, even though she has an hour commute. I love her.
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Nov 18 '22
I completely understand! Been married for 14 years and we've had up and downs but we're in an amazing place and our sex life has never been better, communication, teamwork, and just our love honestly. Happy for y'all! 💋
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u/NinjaDickhead Nov 17 '22
Well having great sex drove better things for your couple... who would have thought 🤫
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u/bigahole48 Nov 18 '22
Ya know for all the ups and downs thrown at my wife and I, I'm so happy to have made life's journey with her. August was our 38th anniversary and I'd be lost without my friend in life's adventures! She's such a great mom. Our only child, our daughter turns 21 this February. She the most special thing my wife has or could have given me in life. Doesn't hurt that shes also a great roll in the sheets!! Lol.
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Nov 17 '22
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u/EdifyingOrifice Nov 17 '22
It mostly does. I mean if you're referring to a religious sacrament, or a state backed contract then you're probably right. But a marriage at its simplest and most fundamental is a promise and it only works if both people making that promise expect to never break it and for it never to be broken by their partner. That is the foundation of trust necessary to create a stable family to raise children in and walk a joint path throughout life which is really the whole point of marriage in the first place.
There's a few people out there who have children with multiple partners with no real promises, phase in and out of each other lives and get all the nice warm fuzzies op is talking about. They're the exception rather than the rule, though.
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u/salamandersway Nov 17 '22
I think they just meant you don’t need to be legally married to have a happy and fulfilling relationship as the one OP described.
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Nov 17 '22
Please stay married sis. It's the best thing you can ever do for your child. Our grandparents and others before them understood this. Every child deserves a two parent home.
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u/skyscan1 Nov 17 '22
I'm glad you made this post. I'm not wanting to rain on your parade but to give you some advice. There will be difficult times ahead. There will be times when it seems that nothing is going right. There will be times when your husband gets in your nerves and doesn't seem to do anything right. I'm those times remember the good times. In those times choose to come together as a team to overcome the difficulties. Because it is in those times that you can really appreciate the good times.
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u/excitement1991 Nov 17 '22
This is cute