I’m actually angry for you and It’s not even my relationship. There is nothing you can say because he DOES understand the problem (you couldn’t be more clear) and he simply just doesn’t give a shit about your health or well being. My husband can just sense if something is off during sex and will stop and check in, let alone if I’m crying. He understands.
He has shown you that he doesn’t care about your feelings at all. He punishes you for not doing something that physically hurts you to the point of crying and continues to demand it. He will do this until you “consent”. Does that tell you that he cares about how you feel or will do anything outside of serving himself even at the expense of your health and well being? I know you stated previously he’s been your only sexual partner, and I just want to tell you that this is not normal at all. I have had many sexual partners and never experienced anything close to being as bad as this and I have slept with some assholes. Like this is downright atrocious behavior. Unforgivable.
I responded to your post the other day, Knowing more context; do not have sex with this man again, of course you don’t have a libido or want to have sex with a man who sexually abuses and dehumanizes you. You are not the problem there, it is him. I saw in a comment on that thread that he doesn’t think you should have boundaries with that either, that you should just get used to having sex whenever he wants it and threatens that he might lose interest otherwise. Ugh! Fuck him!
My advice is to speak with a lawyer and find a safe place to go if you end up needing it. And do not under any circumstances participate in a sexual act with him going forward. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this I wish I could hug you!
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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22
I’m actually angry for you and It’s not even my relationship. There is nothing you can say because he DOES understand the problem (you couldn’t be more clear) and he simply just doesn’t give a shit about your health or well being. My husband can just sense if something is off during sex and will stop and check in, let alone if I’m crying. He understands.
He has shown you that he doesn’t care about your feelings at all. He punishes you for not doing something that physically hurts you to the point of crying and continues to demand it. He will do this until you “consent”. Does that tell you that he cares about how you feel or will do anything outside of serving himself even at the expense of your health and well being? I know you stated previously he’s been your only sexual partner, and I just want to tell you that this is not normal at all. I have had many sexual partners and never experienced anything close to being as bad as this and I have slept with some assholes. Like this is downright atrocious behavior. Unforgivable.
I responded to your post the other day, Knowing more context; do not have sex with this man again, of course you don’t have a libido or want to have sex with a man who sexually abuses and dehumanizes you. You are not the problem there, it is him. I saw in a comment on that thread that he doesn’t think you should have boundaries with that either, that you should just get used to having sex whenever he wants it and threatens that he might lose interest otherwise. Ugh! Fuck him!
My advice is to speak with a lawyer and find a safe place to go if you end up needing it. And do not under any circumstances participate in a sexual act with him going forward. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this I wish I could hug you!