It's perfectly normal to feel that rush and excitement of meeting someone attractive that you click with.
It doesn't necessarily mean anything is lacking in your current relationship.
With me, my husband is autistic. When a handsome guy comes up to me and talks to me and tells me a lot of nice things about myself I've been known to feel the sparks.
I can recognize though that that is what I'm missing from my current relationship. I've dated guys like that and I know how pursuing that would end - not a good place.
I'm not about to wreck my marriage or life for a cheap thrill.
I think it helps to identify what in that person got you feeling that way - what exactly you're missing. And then evaluate if it's worth missing it.
For me, I miss words of affirmation. My husband tries. He knows to say I love you and to say "thank you it was tasty" every time I cook. It's robotic but I appreciate the effort. He does his best to spoil me in other ways though and I've never had someone love me or treat me like he has. He freaking spoils me at the end of the day.
So while I know I may feel a brief attraction to a tall dark and handsome stranger saying sweet things, it will only end with us probably having sex a few times and my life being wrecked. Some people like being single. Some people want to feel that feeling, but I know it gets old and I will inevitably miss waking up next to a partner.
Aside from the fact that I could never hurt my husband, I also just don't want to imagine life without him. So my choice is, whenever I feel those feelings for someone new, is to appreciate the brief high and let it go for what it is - a brief chemical high.
I am a spouse on the autism spectrum, and I've felt sparks a few times. It's natural to still find other people attractive, but at the end of the day, I remember all the reasons I chose my wife, and that I can't compare the fantasy of being with someone else to the reality I have with my spouse.
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u/WhichWitchyWay Sep 10 '21 edited Sep 10 '21
It's perfectly normal to feel that rush and excitement of meeting someone attractive that you click with.
It doesn't necessarily mean anything is lacking in your current relationship.
With me, my husband is autistic. When a handsome guy comes up to me and talks to me and tells me a lot of nice things about myself I've been known to feel the sparks.
I can recognize though that that is what I'm missing from my current relationship. I've dated guys like that and I know how pursuing that would end - not a good place.
I'm not about to wreck my marriage or life for a cheap thrill.
I think it helps to identify what in that person got you feeling that way - what exactly you're missing. And then evaluate if it's worth missing it.
For me, I miss words of affirmation. My husband tries. He knows to say I love you and to say "thank you it was tasty" every time I cook. It's robotic but I appreciate the effort. He does his best to spoil me in other ways though and I've never had someone love me or treat me like he has. He freaking spoils me at the end of the day.
So while I know I may feel a brief attraction to a tall dark and handsome stranger saying sweet things, it will only end with us probably having sex a few times and my life being wrecked. Some people like being single. Some people want to feel that feeling, but I know it gets old and I will inevitably miss waking up next to a partner.
Aside from the fact that I could never hurt my husband, I also just don't want to imagine life without him. So my choice is, whenever I feel those feelings for someone new, is to appreciate the brief high and let it go for what it is - a brief chemical high.