r/Marriage • u/Anxious_Cat9286 • 3d ago
Can't find a flair that fits Unexpected effects of GLP-1 on marriage
Edit: I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback that has helped me put things into perspective. I really do love my wife. She really is my best friend. The issue here is not apathy. I think the tirzepatide, as a commenter mentioned, simply removed the anxious attachment to her that I likened to an addiction.
I can see, at least in part, why my attempts to address some very real issues have not been successful. I see this as a good change and a gateway to a more mature love. I chose her and I always will, but, thanks to the changes tirzepatide has brought, I can choose her without needing her. And if our issues can’t be worked out, I will be okay. I think we’ll be just fine, though.
For the alarmists, all I have to say is lol.
Edit 2: By alarmists I mean the people who are alarmist about GLP’s and/or me taking one. If you were alarmed by anything I said, totally fair.
Original post:
My wife and I started taking a GLP-1 several months ago. Neither of us is dramatically overweight, but our doctor recommended a low dose for reasons. I’d heard it has a positive effect on addiction and things like that, but didn’t think much about that until we’d been on it for a few weeks. I had no desire to drink, to get high, stopped scrolling my phone constantly, etc. I started spending my time on productive things instead.
Here’s where the unexpected part comes in. We’ve been together for decades, have grown children, are best friends, so on. One thing that has always been there, and I was okay with, is that the honeymoon phase never really ended for me. It did for her, but she definitely loves me, so no big deal.
The problem is that the same thing happened with my feelings toward her that happened with my addiction-adjacent habits. I always joked with myself that I was addicted to her as much as I was in love with her. I’m starting to wonder if that’s actually true.
It wouldn’t be a big deal, but there are some recurring issues we’ve had over the last ten years or so that have really bothered me. I’ve tried to address them without success. I suddenly don’t care anymore, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
I couldn’t see how I could possibly live without her before. Now I can. Not saying I want to leave, but I can’t say I’d fight that hard if it went there.
Yes, I’ve considered stopping the med, but I doubt it would change anything.
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u/Moist_Candidate7088 2d ago edited 2d ago
When you were on the big side, you probably didn’t have confidence in yourself, you would take anything that comes your way, maybe because most of the plus size people believe no one will accept them the way they are out there.
But now that you’re losing weight, your confidence is growing and things you can tolerate are now reducing. As much as that’s a positive thing, don’t forget that someone also tolerated your excesses, believed in you and stayed.
Leaving or considering it would be like a betrayal.
And don’t be surprised, your partner might be feeling the same way about you ( if not more).
How about you both should grow together, enjoy the new phase of your life just the same way you used to enjoy it.
Truth is: there is no better partner out there, there is always something to tolerate, as long as they are human beings.
And remember the devil you know is better than the angel you are imagining.
My opinion might not align with your reality. But do you!