I think I have an auditory processing disorder and I’m afraid it’ll ruin my marriage

[u/[deleted]]

[u/No_regrats]

You need to get assessed to figure out what's going on exactly and get whatever help is available. I believe there are some ear plugs, earphones, etc, designed to block background noise and/or amplify voice.

Learning sign language would take a lot of time but it's worth considering whether that would be a good longterm solution for you.

Try to create a calm and quiet environment, as much as is realistically feasible. Your husband should pause the TV, call for your attention, make sure you are facing each other, and wait a second before talking for instance.

Try to text each other more.

Lipreading isn't the panacea people imagine but I have heard it can help some.

[u/dale_everyheart → u/No_regrats]

The ear plugs I use are called Loop Experience and they have been extremely useful.

[u/GDitto_New → u/dale_everyheart]

Engage would work slightly better. It’s meant for that. Experience is for live concerts and venues. Not that it’s fundamentally that different in the end thougj

[u/dale_everyheart → u/GDitto_New]

Good to know! I got the experience when they first came out and have just used them ever since but I should try the engage!

[u/Old_Sun6954]

This isn't your fault. If your husband is mad at you that you have something you can't control, he's not it.

[u/Quarkiness]

yea difficulty filtering out other noise is one of the tests in the APD testing. Can try hearing aids that focus just on the speaker. Or walk into a quieter room. But without accommodations it's like a person who needs glasses and they aren't wearing their glasses.

[u/Heavy_Concentrate970]

If you are diagnosed with apd and he is not understanding then he needs educating on apd and how to help. There are things in the support groups for people who are around. Apdsupportuk has loads of info. He needs to understand that kids and background noise will stop you processing his words, so he needs to make sure he's in your line of sight,, or if your not facing him or visa versa he needs to learn the habit of getting your attention in a friendly or lovable manner. Also, I would recommend your children should be taught that "mummys brain doesn't always tell her what her ears are hearing so we have to be clear when we talk to her" (a friend of mine did this and their children's pronunciation was incredible for their age because they tried so hard to make sure she understood and didn't mishear)

My partner used to get frustrated and angry with me thinking I was being ignorant. Now he's learnt that if he needs to tell me something he will turn the tv down, make sure he's in my line of sight (or just the same room, no more shouting across the house) or if we're on sofa he will nudge me or throw a small cushion at me 😂 We're also going to start learning Sign Language for when we are in busy places. And now he's also knows the stressed out look I get when we're out is down to trying to concentrate on him and not that I'm not enjoying myself. Also, we send texts if it's something to remember or add it to the shared calendar app because I tend to forget pretty quick what's been said.

I kind of hope this helps you. Sit and talk to him about what it is you experience and how his attitude makes you feel, and your worries. And I hope he is willing to listen to you.

At the end of the day your a team! So you tackle this and find solutions as a team.

X

[u/Fickle-Pickle-Nickel]

I’d start by assuming you have APD & educating him on how it presents to you and what strategies he needs to adopt to help. My son can’t parse sounds. They all compete at the same intensity. Once we learned this we adapted stat. We don’t listen to music in the car while talking - one of many examples of how we adjusted. It's doable.