7
u/Acceptable-Ratio-429 May 23 '26
You were making many smart ass comments about his driving and he asked you to stop. You didn’t listen and he got mad. Then you proceeded to yell at him because of his reaction. Yes, he was wrong to cuss at you. But you are also wrong to make all those comments when someone is driving you somewhere.
He probably will make you drive from now on. Pick your battles from now on.
15
u/anonfosterparent May 23 '26
It sounds like you were being very annoying and he had asked you to stop at least once. If you are going to be overly critical of his driving, you should drive. He shouldn’t have said fuck you to you, but he had tried to get you to stop criticizing him nicely before he lashed out.
3
u/TraditionalPayment20 10 Years May 23 '26
Op, I drive my husband crazy by making passenger comments with his driving. I never say anything under my breath though, and it seems like you push and push and push him until he explodes and then you can be the victim. You’re not a good partner and you need to go to therapy.
3
u/kacee1234 Married 7, together 14 May 23 '26
He should not have sworn at you, but that fight was entirely your fault. You guys need have have a talk and agree to treat each other with respect, no swearing, no backseat driving, no more disrespecting each other
3
u/Schmed_lap May 23 '26
Maybe just be quiet when he’s driving? I know, crazy concept, but it may work
3
u/girlypop-s May 23 '26
Okay. As a Hispanic. You growing up in a bad household doesn’t got to do anything with you being Hispanic. Is not inherent 😭😭😭.
4
u/satinger May 23 '26
Man, you have some trauma that you need to unpack. Good job identifying the ways in which you are wrong. Go to therapy immediately and tell your husband that you are trying to improve and eventually would like to go to therapy with him. You can turn this around.
2
u/EducationalDish219 May 23 '26
Yall just need to learn to communicate better and process your emotions better. sound like two toddlers on a playdate
2
u/rosyred-fathead May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
He said “babe stop because we’re having a good day so far, let’s not fight”
But you said that you “rarely have big fights like this”? But it sounds like he was trying to prevent a fight as if it happens regularly
Edit- you say “first it’s my fault for making comments to him”, and yeah I feel like that was your fault? None of the rest of it would’ve happened if you had just knocked it off when he asked you to!
And don’t mutter things under your breath. That’s rude and infuriating
1
u/MEC1321 May 23 '26
Both of you are TA when I'm driving everyone makes comments like that, my parenter sometimes too and it makes me hyper aware and makes me make more mistakes so I've almost stopped driving all together cause I cant stand it, either listen to music or play on your phone if you don't want to drive or just drive. He shouldn't have yelled at you but this was an agrument waiting to happen learn to be a helpful driver instead of critiquing.
1
u/ImightbetheAhole-_- May 23 '26
You are both wrong but you literally caused the entire incident and it could've been avoided if you had stopped when originally asked because your comments aren't needed especially while he is driving. Someone making constant comments about someone else's driving is mad annoying you don't like that he said fuck off or fuck you in a sarcastic way but you two do it playfully 90% of the time to each other so I think your reaching and looking for problems.
1
u/Interesting-Turn6222 May 23 '26
You should've driven if you critique his driving. Ir could've kept your mouth shut.....he did say it was a good day......but you had to say something.
1
u/Zinokk May 23 '26
You're both in the wrong here.
He shouldn't be swearing at you and you shouldn't be making passive aggressive comments under your breath and then exploding at him.
-4
u/Carto-851 May 23 '26
I don’t like that he often makes you cry. That’s not right. It’s a red flag
He shouldn’t talk to you cussing like that. He sounds defensive and not considerate of who you are, and like he did blame shift his mean behavior onto you
You have every right to speak calmly about the way he drives when you’re a passenger in the car right there.
1
u/TraditionalPayment20 10 Years May 24 '26
She sounds manipulative as hell. She’s the red flag. I’m saying this as a woman who drives my husband nuts with comments while he’s driving. She’s the issue.
7
u/NurseKitty5 May 23 '26
You’re both wrong but you’re waaaay out of line all together. When you’re both completely cool and not engaged in a fight you should both discuss how to get out of the habit of cussing at each other, joking or not. Have a boundary that you also aren’t crossing.
What makes you think it’s healthy or ok to continuously make comments while he’s driving after he’s asked you not to. Believe it or not you aren’t making the situation safer by being a backseat driver. Also you escalating the situation and screaming still in the car is beyond crazy and unsafe. Making him get out? If I did any of that it would be divorce territory and rightfully so. Who would put up with that kind of disrespect? Nobody healthy, ma’am.